Takes

The 2024 Washington Commanders are frauds

Bernie Madoff. Sam Bankman-Fried. The 2020 election. The 2024 Washington Commanders. [Frauds]. Sometimes the haters are right. When the haters are right, you gotta say, great job haters.

Cliff Kingsbury's offenses inevitably decline in the second half of every season

This gets at going back to Cliff [Kingsbury]'s entire existence in the second half of seasons. So back at Texas Tech, here's his record as a head coach from 2013 to 2018, at the end of the season... lost five of six, lost four of six, lost four of six, lost six of eight, lost six of eight, lost five of five. At the Cardinals, he lost seven of his last nine, then he lost five of his last seven, then he lost five of his last six, then he lost nine of his last 10.

Jaden Daniels will be a very good NFL quarterback, but rookies don't win Super Bowls

Jaden Daniels will be a very good quarterback in this league. Jaden Daniels is just still a rookie. And that's something that I think was very evident tonight... But Jaden Daniels I don't think is, as a rookie, a Super Bowl winning quarterback. 'Cause no rookies are Super Bowl winning quarterbacks.

Drake Maye is going to be a superstar

Coach Gruden on the stream also was asked him about Caleb Williams or Drake Maye. And he said Drake Maye. Drake Maye is gonna be a superstar. Patriots have looked good. Commanders have basically should be on a three game losing streak.

The Ravens' offense is unstoppable

I think the Ravens I believe are gonna be there no matter what because their offense feels unstoppable.

Shane Waldron was the primary issue behind the Bears' struggles

Shane Waldron is the Antichrist. Shane Waldron caused all the problems. Shane Waldron, every war tragedy, anything you can think of in history. Shane Waldron was the issue behind it... The only way I can tell myself that the Bears have a chance is that Shane Waldron was deliberately holding the Bears back in every capacity and now everything's gonna be different.

The Bears' organization has ruined Caleb Williams

The organization's a fucking joke... None of it makes sense. Everything sucks. The organization is a joke. They've ruined Caleb Williams.

Caleb Williams just needs a comfortable system and he will still be a good quarterback

Caleb Williams is still a good quarterback. He just needs to get in a comfortable system. He needs to not be like surrounded by a hurricane of shit... Don't make him feel like he's got too big a part of that failure right off the bat. Give him easy shit to do.

The Jets' defense does not travel well

Defense doesn't travel... We got smoked by the Cardinals. Graveyard teams.

Doug Pederson will be fired after the Lions game

This is Doug Peterson's firing game. It's a bye-week next week. Trevor Lawrence is hurt. Mac Jones is going again... If you're gonna fire Doug Peterson in season, it's going to be after playing the Lions going on a bye week. That all just kind of tracks, right?

The Jaguars +14 against the Lions is the NFL makes no sense game of the year

I think so. This is like, this is the 'NFL makes no sense' game of maybe the year... NFL makes no sense. There's not like stats behind it. I am very close. But that, but it happens every year. There's always games where it's like, how the fuck did the Lions lose to the Jaguars when the playoffs come?

The Broncos will beat the Falcons

I think the Broncos are going to get off the mat here and respond very well. And I think the Broncos are gonna win this game.

The Falcons are the perfect team to lose in Wild Card weekend

I think the Falcons, they're the perfect team that you would put into the slot of losing a Wild Card weekend playoff game.

The 49ers' offense is the second best in the NFL even without Christian McCaffrey

The 49ers are getting better on offense. So their offense without Christian McCaffrey for most of the season, they are plus 1.4 net yards per play, which is the second best offense in the NFL.

Harrison Butker being out makes the Bills a favorite over the Chiefs

Harrison Butker's hurt. Harrison Butker is out... Oh that's actually huge. Oh I might be Bills now because that, this does feel like a field goal game here.

The Chargers' defense is legitimately elite

The Chargers are the fourth team in the last 40 years to hold opponents under 21 points in their first nine games of the season. Only been done four times. Defense is legit. Legit.

NFL teams change coaches too quickly, which stunts quarterback development

I do [think the NFL moves on from coaches too quickly]. Every team had a coach that was there for a period of years... and now they change coaches every year or two and they change offense and defensive coordinators like they change shirts. And I think that has a lot to do with the lack of quarterback consistency and development over time.

The Detroit Lions win because of their pre-snap recognition and execution

What I love about Detroit is they win in the pre-snap, meaning they'll change the tight end, they'll change the receiver, they'll motion two or three times before the ball is snapped and they'll let Jared Goff pick a play... I call it RCE. You recognize the defense and when you know what defense they're in, now you communicate a play to beat that defense.

A rookie quarterback shouldn't be blamed for sacks if they are holding the ball too long

There's too much of him. You know, there's 40 times he's carried the ball. There's 40 times he's been sacked... You can't blame the offensive line for all these sacks. I just encourage him, you know, to get rid of the ball. Sometimes the best play you can make is throwing the ball away because that's the only good play you could make.

Wide receiver bubble screens are a waste of time and personnel

When you throw a bubble screen or a quick screen, I mean, how how many times do you see Jerry Rice run a bubble screen right now? You never saw Willie Gault run a bubble screen. You got these three Corvettes [Keenan Allen, DJ Moore, Rome Odunze]... Now let him run some routes and tell the quarterback to throw him the ball or get rid of the ball, but quit taking sacks.

Brock Purdy is a much better quarterback in person than on television

I was at the Bucs-49ers game last week and with McCaffrey back and Jauan Jennings back... Purdy is a lot better quarterback when you see him live. This guy's strong. He's, he's loose. He's gutty, man. Gritty. Love him.

Sean McVay's decision to kick a field goal on third down was wrong — he waited too long and then did it too early at the same time

If you are going to play the game of we should kick a field goal before we try to get a touchdown, do it with like a minute and a half left the minute you get into field goal range. Why would you give away a down that you could — the harder thing to do is score a touchdown. It felt like he got caught somewhere in the middle where he just didn't really make up his mind.

The Dolphins are the prime spoiler team and will win one of their games against the Texans or 49ers later in the season

I think they are just the prime spoiler team. I think they have a game against the Texans and the 49ers later in the season. They're gonna win one of those two. It's not gonna mean anything for them, but it'll mean a lot for the team that loses.

Micah Parsons didn't say anything wrong about Mike McCarthy

Am I wrong to think that Micah Parsons didn't say anything wrong? I have no problem with it. It was honest. An NFL player has a limited time to be on an NFL roster. And he's like, yeah, the guys next to me who might be on their last year, those are the guys I feel for. You want your athletes and coaches to give honest answers. And when they give honest answers, we should be like, that was an honest answer. Not holy shit, how could he say that?

The Bears are rotten to the core and he's never going to believe again

I think it's rotten to the core. It has nothing to do with who they're gonna hire. They're gonna hire the fourth best offensive coordinator to be the new head coach and we're gonna try to be sold on that. And I'm not gonna fall for it anymore.

Patrick Mahomes would suck on the Bears because the Bears are a joke of an organization

Patrick Mahomes would suck on the Bears. 'Cause the Bears are a joke of an organization. That's just how it works. There's nothing gonna change. They don't care about winning.

Mike Vrabel is the winner of the coaching carousel — he's going to get whatever he wants

Mike Vrabel, by the way, he's the winner of this whole thing because he's gonna get whatever he wants. Whatever he wants.

The 2022 NFL coaching carousel might go down as one of the worst of all time — half the hires have already been fired

It might go down as one of the worst head coaching carousels of all time, 2022. Ten head coaching vacancies and half of them have already been fired. Brian Daboll's probably gonna get fired. Doug Pederson already fired. Josh McDaniels already fired. Matt Eberflus gonna get fired. Dennis Allen already got fired. Lovie Smith already got fired. Nathaniel Hackett already got fired.

The Bears will never hire someone who's an alpha or a football guy as head coach

The Bears will never hire someone who's an alpha or a football guy. They won't 'cause they just want to have Kevin Warren, an empty suit, be the guy who's in charge somehow. They're never gonna hire a guy who's like, this is my way or the highway. I'm running this. I'm bigger than the organization. It just won't happen.

The Commanders are going to beat the Eagles this Thursday

I actually do. I think that the Commanders are gonna win this game. I think the Pittsburgh Steelers are a very, very, very good football team. And if you look at how the Commanders bounced back to their other great loss that they had, which was against the Ravens, I feel like we're in a good position. I trust Dan Quinn.

The Commanders being called frauds is actually an honor — they haven't been good enough in decades for anyone to think that highly of them

It's an honor to be called a fraud. As long as I've lived, I have yearned for somebody to think highly enough of my football team to the point where they can hate my football team. Nobody thinks that a four and 13 team is a fraud. Bernie Madoff lived a long time as a fraud and he had fucking islands that he vacationed on.

The Eagles game is the Commanders' entire season — if they lose, the fraud label sticks

I think this game is your entire season, PFT. I think if they lose this game, it's their third playoff-caliber game that they've lost. And the season's over. You guys will officially be frauded because the teams you've beat are trash.

The Eagles really haven't beaten anyone either — their only good wins are the Packers and maybe the Bengals

Eagles really haven't beat anyone either. Depending on who you think about, they obviously the Packers win at the beginning of the year, big win. And depending on what you think of the Bengals, those are the only two good wins.

Jayden Daniels is going to be one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL

I'm still buying all the Jayden Daniels stuff. I think that he absolutely — I think that he is going to be one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL.

I'm officially back to believing in Bryce Young

I like, maybe I'm back into believing in Bryce Young, but either way, it, it looks like he is getting better, which is something that you couldn't have said at the beginning of this season.

The Giants should not play Daniel Jones another down of football this year

Daniel Jones should not play another snap. He should not play another snap because he has, he has the, remember Russell Wilson last year... if he gets injured, his money becomes guaranteed and you can cut him this year and it's, you don't have to pay him any more money and it's like a $22 million cap hit. You should not play him another down of football this year.

Mike Tomlin is a really good head coach and people need to stop calling him 'mediocre'

I don't ever want to hear mediocre Mike again. Mike Tomlin is a really fucking good head coach. I would kill for Mike Tomlin as my head coach. He, what he does in intangibles is insane. He gets the most outta everyone all the time.

The Chiefs are going to win the Super Bowl no matter how they play

Even if you want to be one of those devil's advocate and be like, oh well the Chiefs are different. They're not like, they're just barely winning these games. It doesn't fucking matter. They're gonna win the Super Bowl.

If the Chiefs go undefeated and win three in a row, they are a more impressive dynasty than the Patriots

If these Chiefs go undefeated... and they win the Super Bowl... that would pretty much seal the deal for which Dynasty is more impressive. It would, it would definitely beat one of the Patriots' dynasties.

The Bears should fire Matt Eberflus tomorrow

The Bears are so, so, so bad. And Matt Eberflus should be fired tomorrow. And it won't fix it. Listen, Matt Eberflus and Shane Waldron deserve blame. But I'm not saying it's all on them... But you can fire the coach. And the coach stinks.

The Buccaneers are going to win the NFC South

I weirdly think we should maybe take this opportunity to bet on the Bucks to maybe win the NFC South if we can find a good line. Because the Bucks have lost four in a row... but they look competitive against 49ers today... Mike Evans is coming back. Baker is an absolute dog.

The Eagles should give Nick Sirianni a contract extension

Is it time to give Nick Sirianni a contract extension? He is 41 and 19 is the Eagles' head coach... I think you gotta lock him up long term. I agree. Like that... lock him up.

The Jets' season is over

The Jet season is... It's over. Yeah, we're good. It's over. We didn't even show up. Went out. Very, very sad.

The Bengals are one of the best teams in the AFC but will probably miss the playoffs

I'm walking away from this Bengals game and I'm thinking the Bengals are one of the best teams in the AFC. And they're probably not gonna make the playoffs.

Justin Tucker is officially washed

Lamar finds a way there. Justin Tucker. Wash this. It feels like the Ravens might be destined to get into a close playoff game... and to get out kicked. I hope that's not the case, but there's something up with Justin Tucker.

The Giants will win the international game in Germany against the Panthers

I actually think the Giants are gonna win. Do you know the Giants are leading the league in Sacks? 35. Their defensive line is very good... I like the Giants in this game just because I'm gonna bet it because it's gonna be on.

I'm betting big on the Patriots to cover +6 against the Bears

I'm going to bet this will not be in the Hungry Dog. I'm going to place a large... I'm going to bet Big Patriots plus six. Because then I think the Patriots can keep it close. Cover that.

Ben Johnson will not take the Bears head coaching job

[Schefter] said that Ben Johnson is, if he's like, if there's eight interview openings, Ben Johnson will not talk to all eight. Whoever he talks to is someone that he's expecting to take the job essentially saying he's not gonna go to the Bears.

I'm betting on the Saints because Darren Rizzi's ears make him an interesting interim coach

Darren Rizzi's ears are fucked up. I don't know what the fuck is going on with his ears. No offense to his ears... It looks like he was wearing sunglasses made out of tungsten... I like that he's got bad ears. It makes it more interesting. Yeah, I like him. I'm gonna take the Saints.

Whichever team wins the Steelers-Commanders game will win their division

Whichever team wins this game, I think that team is gonna win their division. I think they could maybe be thinking soupy [Super Bowl].