Hall of Fame

Ime Udoka is the best at laying pipe among NBA coaches

You look at the Celtics Ime Udoka lays pipe better than any of these motherfuckers. Feels like he could spoil shit and he goes down. Yeah. She knows that he's not the whole package though.

I will get a sex change if Jimmy Butler wins NBA MVP

I'll put this out. I will go ahead and I'll have a sex change if Jimmy Butler becomes the MVP. I will become Marlon's woman. Done.

I will eat one bite of horse shit if the Capitals beat the Penguins

I think you should have to eat shit if they beat the Penguins. Agreed. Just one bite. I'm not saying... Just one bite. Everyone knows the rules. ... Caps beat the Penguins. We're going to Central Park, and PFT's going to eat some shit. Just one bite.

I tried to break my own hand with a hammer to get a medical redshirt at East Carolina

I grab a bottle of Jack Daniels and I grab a hammer... I take a pull of Jack Daniels, put my hand down on the table and boom, boom, boom. One, two, three. Hit the hell out of my hand, dude... I couldn't break my own hand. But when I told the guys, I was like, what would you do for more football? Because I'd do damn near anything.

Mac Jones will be a bust because he is crying in his DUI mugshot

I like my quarterbacks when they get a mug shot to not have a little cry in their eyes. Oh, he's sad in it? Yeah, look it up. He's got a tiny bit of cry in his eyes. So I'm saying bust just on that. Just based on that.

The Washington Capitals will be 2018 Stanley Cup champions

I might just go tonight and get a Washington Capitals 2018 Stanley Cup champions tattoo.

Antonio Brown will never play a single game for the Raiders

Here's my take: [Antonio Brown] is not going to ever play a game as a Raider. I think they're either going to cut him. They're probably not going to be able to trade him anywhere.

Pardon My Take will change the entire world of podcasting

It's gonna change the entire world of podcasting. No, I mean I'm not, I'm not raising my voice. What I'm saying I'm not quivering. Like that's just the cold hard truth.

Legalized gambling will be available across the country in five years.

Football in Vegas, I'm saying, calling your shot five years, say five years, legalized gambling all across the country, it's going to be great.

Tom Brady will play three more years, likely until he is 45 or 46

How many more years do you think Tom Brady plays? Three. His dad, Tom Sr. and Tom, I think it's 45, 46, realistically. I don't know how long that body can end up.

There will be a quarterback controversy in New England where Bailey Zappe challenges Mac Jones

Maddie. Think about this magic Mack Jones gets benched for Bailey. ... I think there's going to be a court quarterback controversy in new England. That we're is going to actually like really tank them. I'm just saying why they draft Bailey just saying,

Bryce Harper will eventually sign with the Philadelphia Phillies

If you were to ask me straight up, [Harper goes to] Philadelphia. Philadelphia... Because it's 212 feet to right field, 279 to center, and 175 feet to left. So he's thinking Hall of Fame... Where can I hit 700 home runs? Philadelphia.

The 2023 Final Four will have no #1 or #2 seeds

It would not shock me if when we get to Houston for the final four, if there's no one and two seeds in the final four.