Hall of Shame

The Chiefs trading up for Patrick Mahomes was the worst pick in the draft

The worst pick, I think, in the draft was [Patrick] Mahomes at 10 and the Chiefs trading up 17 picks to get him? Do you think they did that because they're like, yo, Ryan Pace is going to get a lot of heat? Now's our time to just go under the radar.

I am not a Patrick Mahomes guy

I want to be on the record that I am not a Mahomes guy. Okay. Put me on the record. Put me in the history books.

Luka Doncic is overhyped by 'nerds' and the EuroLeague is a garbage league

The nerds love Doncic, and it almost is offensive to me just how they talk about Doncic. There's like a slant against college basketball in how people talk about Doncic. I'm not going to pretend like I've watched the guy, but my problem is the beef I have is that everyone else is pretending like they've watched the guy... you go look at who's actually won EuroLeague MVPs and what it takes to win a EuroLeague MVP, and you're like, holy shit. That is a garbage league. These are not great players.

Coronavirus is an overrated, fraud of a disease

It's a bitch little disease... I agree. We called it out as being a fraud being overrated last week. I'm not I'm not changing that up... I'm not convinced about this Corona thing. I'll take coronavirus to the face right now.

LeBron James peaked in high school

I'll be the first to say it. LeBron James peaked in high school. There it is. Boom.

The Cleveland Browns will go 8-8 and Hue Jackson will be Coach of the Year in 2017

Hugh Jackson is going to go eight and eight next year. The Cleveland Browns are going to turn it around. He can build on that one-win season. Hugh Jackson, coach of the year, 2017. Book it.

I will retire if Jimmy Clausen is not a successful NFL quarterback

If Jimmy Clausen is not a successful quarterback in the NFL, I'm done. That's it. I'm out... I want eight years.

Tom Brady looks old and slow in the Buccaneers offense

How do you think your boy Tom Brady looked? He looks pretty old. It's the truth... he looked pretty old today. It actually proved that Tom's Drew Brees-ing it. I am officially [saying] Taysom Hill is the better quarterback there.

Tiger Woods will never win another major championship

I'm firmly in the Tiger will never win another Masters or major championship in his life. And I've said that for like four or five years now. I just don't, your body can only take so many steroids before you become immune to them.

I am 100% innocent of all criminal charges

I'm innocent without a doubt. The charges are related to some hedge funds I operated in a public company I operated. Don't have one person who has ever complained. You won't find one person that ever lost money... I'll never take a plea deal. I'm 100% innocent.

A prime Lavar Ball would kill Zion Williamson one-on-one

Prime Lavar Ball versus Zion Williamson one-on-one? Murder that boy. Too small. He too soft. He too slow. I was way too fast for that boy in my prime. I will kill him. I was just too strong and too fast.

I could medal in pole vaulting if I trained for four years

I will go with pole vaulting. You just run, stick the stick... All you got to do is run straight and get the timing down. I'm going to be jacked by August.

The Kansas City Chiefs will miss the playoffs entirely in 2022

Chiefs 10 and 7 do not make the playoffs. Okay. So fuck the Chiefs. They're the most overrated team ever. They suck.

Salmonella is like the chicken pox; once you get it once, you can never get it again

If you get salmonella, then you don't have to worry about getting it again so you can eat cookie dough and stuff. No, because if you get salmonella, then you don't have to worry about getting it again.

I would take Jay Cutler over Matthew Stafford any day of the week

When you just basically said Matthew Stafford is the worst quarterback, which I agree with. I would take Cutler over Stafford any day of the week, but I appreciate you throwing me a bone there.

Nico Iamaleava is the best quarterback in the country

I'm telling you, Nico's [Iamaleava] the best quarterback in the country. Size-wise, talent-wise, ability-wise, fit in the offense that he's in... I already have the future on Nico's Heisman.