L. Ron Mexico's Greatest Bars

Danny Woodhead Would Play The Game For Free

He's Woodhead, say his name with me. He's Woodhead, he'd play the game for free.

Danny Woodhead Has Never Done Drugs And Has Never Been To Jail

Never smokes drugs, never been to jail.

Danny Woodhead Never Gets Hurt And Never Fumbles

Not afraid of dirt, and always keeps it humble. Never gets hurt, and never even fumbles.

The Only Flag Woodhead Has Ever Drawn Is Of The U.S.A.

Only flag he ever draws is of the U.S.A. If you a mouthy linebacker, then you must pay.

Quarterbacks Are Overpaid — Just Hand It To Woodhead

Overpaid quarterback with the eight-figure salary. Hand it to the man with the Energizer battery.

Scoring Touchdowns Is Routine For Danny Woodhead

As he takes it to the house for the six-point score. Hands the ball to the ref, he's been there before.

Danny Woodhead Watches Film All Day And Sleeps In His Car

Never goes home 'cause he always goes hard. Watches film all day, and he sleeps in his car.

Danny Woodhead Protects The Shield

He's Woodhead, he protects the shield. He's Woodhead, and he wrecks the field.

Woodhead Is Rushin' And Wet Like Putin In The Rain

Working up a sweat, moving the chains. He's rushin' and wet, like Putin in the rain.

Woodhead Didn't Go To Harvard But He's A Student Of The Game

Didn't go to Harvard, but a student of the game.

Being Christian And Being Elite Are One And The Same

Christian and elite, those are one and the same.

Danny Woodhead Goes Straight To The House Every Time

Which way did he go? Which way did he go? Straight to the motherfucking house!

PFT Commenter Owns 'No Pressure No Diamonds' Now

No pressure no diamonds, slow it down. PFT owns your slogan now.

RG3's Real Trademark Is Not Playing Smart

Your real trademark is that you don't play smart. So stop or your punch clock at Kmart.

RG3 Folds And Splatters Under Pressure

And to be honest you more like the latter. When the pressure is on you fold and splatter.

PFT Has Two Good Knees And RG3 Has None

He got two good knees and a microphone. You got no more cheese and your fight is gone.

RG3 Should Respect Shanahan

Respect Shanahan, I don't plan to scram.

RG3 Needs A Mammogram — Just Be A Manly Man

You need a mammogram, just be a manly man.

RG3 Disappointed The Dog Pound Just Like He Did Atlanta

Don't disappoint the Dog Pound like in Atlanta man.

RG3 Went From Deadspin Redskin To Downtown Browns Clown

You was a Deadspin Redskin full of the drama. Now you a downtown Browns clown in love with Osama.

RG3 Did Subway Commercials — You Know Who Else Did?

RG Knee, so controversial. You know who else did Subway commercials?

RG3 Goes 4-12 Unless He Comes On The Podcast

Spoiler alert: RG3 goes 4 and 12. Unless he comes on the podcast, then he goes 10 and 6 and make the playoffs.

PFT Commenter Drenches You In Rainy Rain Takes

He's in the trenches dude, so check your mentions fool. In rainy rain takes he drenches you.

Zack Hample Belongs In A Garbage Can

First name Marlins, last name Man, I'll stuff Zack Hample in a garbage can.

Lady Luck Smiled Down On The Viet Cong When Marlins Man Missed Vietnam

I was one year late for Vietnam. Lady Luck smiled down on the Viet Cong.

Marlins Man Is A Job Creator With 100 Racehorses

I employ 40 people, job creator, got 100 racehorses deal with that you haters.

Zack Hample Is Jeffrey Maier With A Blog

Zack you a joke, I'll put you down like a dog. You Jeffrey Maier with a blog.

Zack Hample Is A USA-Hating Trespassing Traitor

You a USA hater, trespassing traitor. Meet me in the streets you law violator.

Marlins Man Is Not A Man, A Fan, Or A Veteran

You not a man, a fan or a veteran. So fight me bitch, or let it be.

The Marlins Man Beef Is About Jealousy, Not The Troops

It's not about the troops, it's jealousy.

Marlins Man's Mouth Is Always Behind The Plate

Problem is your mouth always behind the plate.

I Hope Marlins Man's Horses Die In A Lake

Fuck your law firm, I hope they lie to your face. Fuck your horses, I hope they die in a lake.

I Hope Marlins Man Gets Found Like Catherine The Great

I hope you get found like Catherine the Great.

Ask Brady, Marino, Wade, And LeBron About Me And Your Mom

So call Brady, Marino, Wade and LeBron. And ask 'em 'bout me and your mom.

Jim Harbaugh Will Smack Your Jaw

This that Jim Harbaugh that'll smack your jaw.

Unsubscribe Then Subscribe — That's The Motto

Unsubscribe, then subscribe, baby, that's the motto.

We Like Our Apples Unwashed And Bought On The Side Of The Road

We like our apples like we like our clothes: unwashed and bought on the side of the road.

Skyline Chili Is Thicker Than Chris Sabo's Rec Specs

Skyline thicker than Chris Sabo's rec specs.

Is That Mario Andretti? No, That's Jim Irsay

Is that Mario Andretti? Nah, that's Jim Irsay.

Barstool Sports Gets Billed For Travel

Barstool Sports gets billed for travel.

Grit Is Undrafted Slow-Twitch Muscle Fibers

This is undrafted slow twitch muscle fibers.

Matthew Dellavedova Taking A Charge Is Peak Grit

It's Dellavedova taking a charge.

Use Your One Phone Call From Jail On Mike And Mike

It's getting locked up for getting hyped tonight and using your one call on Mike and Mike.

Woodhead In The I-Formation Is What Grit Looks Like

This is Woodhead in the I-formation. This is the coach's son, son.

Pull Up At The Cincinnati Zoo And Pay Our Respects

Pull up at the zoo, pay our respects.

Piss In Your Pants Just To Make A Statement

Piss in your pants just to make a statement.