Takes

Kevin Durant will sign with the Knicks to get his 'masculinity' back

This is going to be the greatest free agent summer of all time, because we basically have Kevin Durant being like, can an entire internet troll him into going to the Knicks just to try to get his made-up masculinity back... We will take away the Triple B [Baby Back Bitch] if he goes to the Knicks.

It is suspicious that LeBron James still hasn't signed his contract with the Cavaliers

NBA Free Agency... LeBron James still hasn't signed with the Cleveland Cavaliers. Hmm. Just saying. Hmm. I'm not saying, but. Hmm. Has everybody else signed? Yeah. So... he has not.