PMT DB
PMT DB
Dontrelle Willis on the Marlins, Home Run Derby, and Skyline Chili
Welcome to Sports Hell. It is the middle of July, the NBA Finals are in the rearview, and we are currently staring down a week where the only thing on the marquee is an exhibition game where the score doesn't matter and a bunch of guys swinging for the fences in San Diego. Big Cat is so depressed by the calendar that he’s convinced the lack of sports is the only reason Derek Jeter finally decided to settle down.
Big CatThe week of the MLB All-Star Break is the worst week in sports
We are in the middle of July. We're in the dog days... this is the worst week in sports. It's so bad that Derek Jeter's got bored enough to go and get married.
PFT has found a silver lining in the sports vacuum, however, and it involves millions of people wandering into traffic while staring at their iPhones.
PFT CommenterPokemon Go is the greatest sporting event of our lifetime
We're kind of doing a disservice by calling this Sports Hell Week because possibly the greatest sporting event of our lifetime or probably anybody's lifetime is going on as we speak, and that's Pokemon Go.
UFC 200 and Scariest Humans
The guys recapped a somewhat underwhelming UFC 200 card, noting that while the "subtle art" of the ground game might appeal to purists, it didn't exactly pop on screen. The one major takeaway was the return of the Beast Incarnate, Brock Lesnar, who looked like he could still eat most of the heavyweights for breakfast.
Big CatBrock Lesnar is the scariest human on Earth
The only other takeaway I had [from UFC 200] was is Brock Lesnar, I think, is the number one scariest human on Earth. The fact that he came back after five years and just demolished Mark Hunt... Brock Lesnar, I think, is my number one scariest man on Earth.
Home Run Derby Picks and Chris Berman
Before the Derby kicks off, the guys paid homage to the king of July, Chris Berman. Big Cat suggested a "Sweaty Berman" meter where ESPN should make him wear a thick heather-grey champion sweatshirt and track his perspiration levels as he screams about balls landing in Tijuana. When it came to actual picks, Big Cat is worried about the long-term effects of the contest on the swing of whoever wins.
Big CatHome Run Derby participants always screw up their swings in the second half of the season
My other favorite part about the Home Run Derby is predicting which one of the participants the Home Run Derby is going to screw up their swing in the second half. Whoever wins.
PFT is going with a high-efficiency pick based entirely on spelling, while Hank is playing it safe with the betting favorite.
PFT CommenterI'm betting heavy on Wil Myers to win the Home Run Derby because he spells his name with one 'L'
I'm going heavy on Wil Myers. He is listed at plus 600. The guy is all about winning. And it's so efficient. You know how much time he saves in his life by spelling his name W-I-L instead of W-I-L-L?
HankGiancarlo Stanton will win the 2016 Home Run Derby
I have the artist formerly known as Mike Stanton... ooh, plus 365, the favorite.
Mount Rushmore: Things Chicks Dig
In honor of the classic "chicks dig the long ball" mantra, the guys drafted a Mount Rushmore of things that women simply cannot resist. Big Cat leaned into the "bad boy" aesthetic, arguing that a combination of scars, cigarettes, and heavy cologne is essentially fishing with dynamite.
Big CatWomen love bad boys and cigarette smokers
Number two [things chicks dig] bad boys... if you can maybe have a little mean streak to you. Chicks dig cigarette smokers slash heavy cologne users. They'll tell their friends, 'ew, he smokes,' then they'll be like, 'ooh, bad boy.'
PFT pivoted to a more assertive approach, claiming that women actually enjoy a man who can take the burden of choice off their shoulders at a Cheesecake Factory.
PFT CommenterWomen love it when men tell them what to like and order for them at restaurants
Chicks love it when guys tell them what they like. Or order for them at a restaurant. It's just like whenever you're like, 'hey, this is actually you don't like that. You like what I like.' It just shows that you're not afraid to take charge.
The D-Train Rolls In
Former MLB All-Star Dontrelle Willis joined the show to talk about his time with the Marlins and his legendary delivery. He discussed his rookie All-Star experience where he was basically told to sit down by Billy Wagner and his memories of the 2003 NLCS that still haunt Big Cat's dreams. Dontrelle also weighed in on the hypothetical "Pitchers Only" Home Run Derby.
Dontrelle WillisCarlos Zambrano would win a Home Run Derby between the best-hitting MLB pitchers
I think it might be Carlos Zambrano that might win that one [a pitchers home run derby]. It'd be close between MadBum [Madison Bumgarner] and Zambrano, but I didn't want you to hit Zambrano... He's broken more bats than any man I've ever seen.
Despite Big Cat’s history with the 2003 Cubs, Dontrelle had some surprisingly optimistic things to say about the current North Siders, which PFT immediately tried to debunk using the "Cleveland Curse" logic.
Dontrelle WillisThe Chicago Cubs will win the 2016 World Series
If you were to pick the World Series right now, it sounds like the Cubs. Would you say the Cubs right now or somebody else? Yeah, I would say the Cubs.
PFT CommenterThe Cleveland Indians won't win the World Series because the city isn't allowed to win two titles in a row
It's definitely not going to be the Indians because Cleveland can't win two things in a row. It can never happen. And if it does happen, they're going to become the new Boston and everybody's going to hate them.
Things took a turn for the controversial when the topic of Cincinnati cuisine came up. While Big Cat considers Skyline Chili a war crime, Dontrelle is a full-blown enthusiast.
Dontrelle WillisSkyline Chili is actually good and I love it
I love Skyline Chili... Every time, the first time I got called up to the big leagues with the Reds... I had two chili dogs. Skyline Chili has always been a classic for me, man. I can't hate on that. Skyline Chili is the best. They can't give enough cheese, baby.
Before letting him go, the D-Train took some well-deserved credit for the aesthetic shift in the MLB during the mid-2000s, specifically regarding the tilt of a certain piece of headwear.
Dontrelle WillisI am the reason for the flat-brim hat trend in baseball
I live in Scottsdale, Arizona, and I see all these Little Leaguers wear 8-1-8 hats, so I feel like I'm the reason for that. So, you know, I'm definitely taking silent credit for changing the game, changing the hat-fitted game.
Segments
In a brief session of "Talking Soccer/Hurt or Injured," the guys broke down Portugal's Euro 2016 win. PFT had a revolutionary theory on why Cristiano Ronaldo leaving the pitch early was actually a tactical masterstroke for the Portuguese side.
PFT CommenterPortugal was a better soccer team without Cristiano Ronaldo in the Euro 2016 Final
I'm going to go with hurt because he actually made the team better. I think the question has to be asked now, like, was Cristiano Ronaldo actually holding Portugal back? So better team without him. Kind of like the whole Steph Curry situation where the boys, the lads on the pitch just really opened up the game and the spacing was better.
He also provided some linguistic insight into the "beautiful game" and why the United States should look to South America for more than just talent.
PFT CommenterPeople in Portugal speak 'Brazilian' which is why they are good at soccer
People forget that they speak Brazilian in Portugal... The two best soccer teams in the world, Brazil and Portugal, both speak Brazilian. So it makes you wonder, like, maybe more countries should start speaking Brazilian if they want to master the beautiful game.
Finally, the guys debuted a new segment called "Hmm" to discuss the suspicious activity of the King in Cleveland.
Big CatIt is suspicious that LeBron James still hasn't signed his contract with the Cavaliers four days after free agency opened
LeBron James still hasn't signed with the Cleveland Cavaliers. Hmm. Just saying. Hmm. I'm not saying, but. Hmm. Has everybody else signed? Yeah. So... LeBron hasn't yet.
If you see a guy in a locker on Wednesday, just know he probably failed to catch a Charizard.
