Takes

OKC Thunder are the first ever 'World Super Team' due to Olympic medals

I think that Oklahoma City Thunder will be the team with the most Olympic gold medals now. So that's pretty big. I mean, that's tough. Super team. A world super team. First ever world super team.

The OKC Thunder will get swept by the Golden State Warriors in the playoffs

Who gets the shot at the end of game four when they're getting swept by the Golden State Warriors? Russ, triple team.

Having 700 concussions makes John Lynch more qualified to judge football players as a GM

Lynch is the GM of the Niners now. Hasn't he had like 700 concussions? But wouldn't that make him more able to judge football players? Like, 'been there, done that.'

Hiring a failed broadcaster as GM is a winning strategy

The nice thing is you always, when you're an owner of a football team, you always want to find the guy that failed at broadcasting and hire him to be the GM. Yes, exactly. That never, ever fails.

The yellow first down line on TV is not an official line

People forget that the yellow line on the field isn't official. So people actually forgot that this weekend in the Ohio State-Michigan game. What? Great game by the refs forgot it as a matter of fact so they just said oh it looks like across the yellow line first down first down

Fox has a much better Thanksgiving broadcast than CBS because they use holiday graphics

CBS cheated us on that. I don't know if you saw it. But it came back. They didn't have it, and then Fox was like a bukkake of leaves on my face. Leaves and gourds just dripping... I actually got mad on Thanksgiving Day when I turned on the Lions game and it was just a regular scoreboard. How the fuck am I supposed to know it's a holiday if it's a regular scoreboard?

Prince Fielder will finish his career with the exact same number of home runs as his father

If Prince Fielder never plays another Major League Baseball game, he will end his career with 319 home runs. Same amount of home runs as Cecil Fielder.

People in Portugal speak 'Brazilian' which is why they are good at soccer

People forget that they speak Brazilian in Portugal... The two best soccer teams in the world, Brazil and Portugal, both speak Brazilian. So it makes you wonder, like, maybe more countries should start speaking Brazilian if they want to master the beautiful game.

People forget that Steven Adams is only 22 years old

People forget that Steven Adams is 22 years old. It's unbelievable because he looks like he's 37. It's crazy.

People forget Kyrie Irving was born in Australia

People forget Kyrie Irving was born in Australia. So not a lot of people remember that.

The Green Bay Packers drafted a serial killer and he's the biggest bust in NFL history

People forget that the Green Bay Packers drafted a serial killer. In 1974, they drafted a legit serial killer. His name is Randy Woodfield... Would you say he's like the biggest bust in NFL draft history?

Ryan Leaf and Johnny Manziel are bigger busts than a serial killer

I think Ryan Leaf and Johnny Manziel still are bigger [busts].

Conor McGregor's retirement tweet was a brilliant marketing move to generate buzz

Excellent marketing move on his part... we were all talking about MMA, like in the offseason of MMA, pretty much. So, yeah. Excellent marketing move on his part.

The Crying Michael Jordan meme will never die

The reason why the crying MJ meme will never die, and it's very simple, anyone who ever complains about it instantly gets the crying MJ meme on them so it's like it just it's a self-fulfilling you can't stop it.

The NCAA banning the slam dunk for nine years was the most racist rule in sports history

So people forget that college basketball banned the slam dunk for nine years. And they banned it because of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar because he was dunking on all these white guys. I think that's probably the most racist rule to ever be enacted—like blatantly racist rule to ever be enacted in sports is that you're not allowed to dunk the ball anymore in basketball.

Banning the home run in baseball would make the sport unwatchable

I would love that rule [banning the home run]. That would be a great rule. Could you imagine? Actually, that would basically make baseball unwatchable, now that I'm saying it out loud.

If a pitcher ever dies on the mound, MLB will force pitchers to wear helmets and face contraptions

Well, so if a pitcher dies on the baseball mound, the game is going to like completely change. Right. They're going to make pitchers wear helmets and there may be even like some sort of weird face contraption. I don't know.

The best way to cure a hangover in Las Vegas is to breathe the oxygen pumped into the casinos

Actually, the best thing to do in Vegas if you're hungover is to go down to the casino and start playing some cards or go to the sports book because they pump oxygen into the casinos. And so if you want to not be tired anymore, just go down there and breathe that thick-ass air, and you'll be okay much faster than if you got an IV.

People forget that the 1980 US Olympic hockey win over the USSR was not the gold medal game

People forget that when the United States beat the USSR hockey team, that wasn't the gold medal game. [That was the medal round.] I would say actually 60% of America would forget that.

Michael Jordan is the worst-dressed rich person in the world

I would say [Jordan] is probably the worst dresser, worst rich dresser in the world... He's worn cargo jeans before. Yeah. That cargo jeans are like, if you're not a Juggalo, you shouldn't be wearing cargo jeans.