PMT DB
PMT DB
Adam Morrison on the Bunker Rumor, Kobe's Greatness, and Baseball Men
The national championship game just wrapped up, and while Villanova’s buzzer-beater was legendary, Big Cat and PFT Commenter are more concerned with the aftermath. Specifically, Jim Nantz handing out his sweaty necktie like a holy relic to a confused Ryan Arcidiacono. It’s a move that only an announcer who thinks he's the main character would pull. Speaking of main characters, PFT couldn't help but notice that Jay Wright’s reaction to winning it all was suspiciously calm.
PFT CommenterJay Wright looks like a mafia guy who would break Rick Pitino's legs
Jay Wright in the first place, he looks like a mafia guy. Now, I don't have any proof, but he looks like the mafia guy that they send to break Rick Pitino's legs.
With the tournament ending, the conversation naturally shifted to how these teams stack up against the pros. While the NBA hardos will scream about talent gaps, the guys aren't so sure the bottom of the pro barrel is safe from a hungry college squad.
PFT CommenterThe UConn women's basketball team would be a 3-5 point favorite over the Philadelphia 76ers
I think that the – well, yeah, [UConn women] are going to win, and I think that the spread against the Sixers, they'd be like three to five-point favorites, depending if it was in UConn or if it was being played in Philly.
Big CatVillanova would beat the Philadelphia 76ers
So yeah, I Villanova, I'd take Villanova over the Sixers.
The Legend of the Apocalypse Bunker
College basketball legend Adam Morrison joined the show to address the elephant in the room: the rumors that he’s living in a generator-powered apocalypse bunker. Adam Morrison set the record straight, explaining that while he does own 80 acres and enjoys target shooting, he isn't exactly waiting for the world to end on a CB radio. It turns out the rumor might have just been a case of Kyle Wiltjer getting a little too creative during his interview.
Adam Morrison also opened up about his time with the Lakers and what it was actually like to be in the orbit of Kobe Bryant. He shared a story about Kobe breaking his finger and using it as an opportunity to prove a point about his left-handed shooting during a random conversation from months prior.
Adam MorrisonKobe Bryant had the best left-handed shot in the NBA
Kobe's like, I'm the best left-handed, the best left-handed... Do you remember when he broke his finger? Okay, so he breaks his finger in the game, doesn't check out. His line that night was like 18 and something with just one hand. He literally played with one hand... He looks over and goes, Amo, like what? He goes, I told you I had the best fucking left hand in the league.
Adam MorrisonKobe Bryant was a self-made player who maximized his game through meticulous practice
The thing with Kobe too, is he really does work on his game. I always tell people he's a self-made player and people always kind of leave that out. He's obviously athletic, but that guy used to work on pivoting, passing, just weird stuff. He put in the time and obviously reaped the benefits from it.
Baseball Men and Twitter Deals
With MLB opening day in the books, Big Cat and PFT broke down the specific anatomy of a "Baseball Man." These are the guys with the skinny legs, massive torsos, and a perpetual hangover. They live by a set of unwritten rules that don't apply to the rest of civilized society.
PFT CommenterPower ranking of sports figures: 1. Football Guy, 2. Hockey Lifer, 3. Baseball Man, 4. Basketball Mind
Football guy number one. We got to go hockey lifer number two because that guy's seen some shit. You have to cross the border 20 times a year. He knows all the smuggling tricks. Hockey lifer's number two. Baseball man, number three. And then basketball mind, number four in my book.
Big CatTony La Russa is the ultimate 'Baseball Man' for falling asleep at a red light while drunk
I mean, Tony La Russa, classic baseball man, falling asleep at a red light because he's too drunk. That's just baseball man life.
In football news, the NFL announced a deal to stream Thursday Night Football on Twitter. While Darren Rovell was busy crying about the stock price not moving, PFT saw it as the first step toward Twitter actually becoming a functional business.
PFT CommenterTwitter is going to turn into a television station for a while
So Twitter just agreed to broadcast 10 of the 16 Thursday night football games next year. What's going to happen, I think, is Twitter's going to just turn into a television station for a while.
PR 101 and Tax SZN
Greg Hardy’s recent sit-down with Adam Schefter was a masterclass in how not to do a redemption tour. Hardy managed to sound like a guy who had never heard of the South despite growing up there, and Schefter somehow came out of it looking just as bad for trying to humanize him.
PFT CommenterGreg Hardy's best possible legacy move is to be completely forgotten
The best thing that Greg Hardy could do is be forgotten. That's as good as it's going to get for his legacy. Why don't you get a horse and go live in the mountains someplace and don't bother anybody for a while?
Big CatAdam Schefter is feeling the heat from Jay Glazer and Ian Rapoport in the insider market
Schefter needs PR 101 because Schefter went on the Dan Patrick show and he started defending Greg Hardy. We call that the Jay Glazer effect. Jay Glazer's doing sit-downs with everyone. Schefter's feeling a little heat there. No one watches the NFL insider market more than I do. Schefter's feeling a little heat.
To wrap things up, the guys helped Hank navigate the terrifying world of adult responsibilities in a special "Explain it to Hank." With tax day approaching, Hank was confused as to why he suddenly owed the government money after years of getting checks back from his restaurant jobs. After Big Cat and PFT brainstormed several high-level avoidance schemes, Hank settled on the most logical path forward.
HankI'm just not going to pay my taxes
Probably just not going to do them. [Taxes].
If the IRS is listening, please disregard everything said in the final ten minutes of the show. One more thing to remember: JJ Watt is definitely the type of guy to still be paying full price for individual songs on iTunes.
Big CatJJ Watt still manually buys and alphabetizes music on iTunes
JJ Watt would be a guy who buys music still in 2016. Right. He spends $9.99 for every album and he's got like a very careful, everything's in like perfect order on his iTunes alphabetized. He's got the album artwork set up and everything.
Don't forget to hammer the Reds as underdogs this week if you want to retire early.
