Takes

The Chainsmokers look more like podcasters than a successful EDM group

I say that the Chainsmokers, they look the most like a podcast of any massively successful EDM group. Two white guys. Yeah. Listen, I'm saying that as a podcaster.

Tom Brady never processed 9/11 because he was such a psycho about football

He just had delayed onset grief. Anything that happened during his playing career, he never processed any of it outside of football. Tom Brady probably never processed 9/11. He was such a psycho, all he cared about was football. He probably found out about it like two years ago.

The Michigan State starting five might be 'out' on big naturals because they don't follow Sydney Sweeney

None of the starting five players from Michigan State follow Sydney Sweeney on Instagram. Michigan State Spartans may be out on heavies. Starting five guys are just maybe out on big naturals.

I Show Speed is more famous than Tom Brady

Our conversation back here was Brady or Speed. I would probably go Speed. Brady's a big name though, he got a lot of rings, but I'd go Speed. I might take it back and go top one [most famous person at the field].

Timothée Chalamet can't win the big one after losing another Oscar

Timothy Chalamet. Yeah. Did not win... he's now in that like, can he win the big one? It's, it's I think it's his third time. Nothing. Can't win the big one. Nothing to show.

The Paris Gentle Mates Call of Duty event will be the biggest in history

Paris La Defense Arena. So it's got 45,000 seats. So they're, it's gonna be the biggest event in Call of Duty history... 45,000 seats. I that's pretty cool.

I Show Speed is globally more famous than Donald Trump

I do think that I Show Speed is globally more famous than Donald Trump... between the ages of five and like 37 is four makes up 48% of the globe. And I think a overwhelming majority of them definitely know who Speed is... I think Speed might [have] 4.1 [billion people] dude. I'll give 4.1 just for sake of argument.

Directing animation is much harder than directing live action

I will tell you, having directed live action and having directed animation... it is a lot harder to do the second one. ... animation itself has not gotten any easier. It's, it, it still requires the human brain to make a judgment call every few frames with regard to what's right for the moment.

White Boy Summer will be canceled if Chet Hanks remains stuck in Colombia

Chet Hanks is stuck in Colombia right now... now he can't get back to the United States because they won't let him back in. There's no greater American than Chet Hanks. And we're in danger of having white boy summer canceled this year if Chet's still stuck in Colombia.

E11even is a club with strippers, not a strip club

The national anthem at E11even last night... E11even is not a strip club, it is a club with strippers. So let's just get that clear. Because a lot of people were upset about it and I'm not gonna stand for it. Put some respect on E11even. It's a club with strippers.

Heat 2 will be a 'disgusting' (great) film starring Christian Bale and Leonardo DiCaprio

My Cool Throne: Heat 2. Christian Bale. Leonardo DiCaprio. Disgusting film. Hell yes. I trust Jake Hamilton. He reported it. Christian Bale, Leo DiCaprio, Heat 2. I'm in. Awesome.

Liking chick flicks from the 2000s is inherently wrong for men

Liking chick flicks is wrong. They're gay. Yeah.

Norway shouldn't count in the Winter Olympic medal standings because they invented all the sports

Norway's like the friend that's like, 'Hey, do you want to come to my house and play all my video games and I'll beat you at all of them?' That's what Norway does. If you take out Norway, which you should, we [the US] dominated these Olympics.

Logan Paul's $13 million Pokemon card sale is just a digital scam

I think a lot of it was digitally scamming. Not physical, not hard copy scams... it's like blockchain scam. So it's like deregulated scam.

A sniper's most likely hiding spots are a clock tower or a warehouse

That feels like the, the two most likely places for people in Texas to hide if they're a sniper.

The Bad Bunny halftime show was so bad it ruined my interest in international football forever.

That halftime performance was so bad. I might have changed my stance on international football forever... It was horrible. I was watching it and I was like, this is, who is this for? This is America. This is a fucking Super Bowl.

Jordan Queen has already wrapped up Jordan of the Year in February by wearing an Orchids of Asia Day Spa shirt to the Duke-UNC game.

Jordan [Queen] was there [at Duke-UNC]... and she was wearing an Orchids of Asia Day Spa shirt. Unbelievable. Which is the day spa that Robert Kraft got jacked off in. Jordan of the Year is open and shut case... early February. Jordan of the Year has been wrapped up.

Lindsey Vonn crashes every single time she is hyped up to ski.

I basically, every time they say, 'Hey, Lindsey Vonn's about to ski'... she's gonna crash. I woke up and they were like, 'Hey Lindsey Vonn competed this morning and she crashed.'

The Super Bowl halftime show is for chicks

The Super Bowl halftime show is—is—is for chicks... I don't think the average NFL fan is like, man, I hope this Super Bowl halftime show is awesome. I don't give a fuck.

The NFL's 'Chief Kindness Officer' Dhar Mann is a scam artist

I asked this only because I saw a bunch of people. He, he, so he got, he got made kindness officer. And then all the entire reaction was, this guy's a scam artist. If you're this guy, why would you ever accept this? So, 'cause you know, like, you can't go, you can't take a position like this knowing that most people are gonna be like, dude, this guy's full of shit.

Every great record was unpleasant to make and involved band members hating each other

I think that every good record that I can think of was made—was unpleasant to make, you know, they all sort of hate each other. Fleetwood Mac... the White Stripes... Jack [White] couldn't get Meg to do anything... it's all kind of this struggle.

The Sphere in Las Vegas prioritizes spectacle over meaningful human interaction in music

People say that they like the Sphere, but everybody says the same thing... there's a tiny little person in this great big thing. So it's spectacle over... that human interaction. Yeah. And I don't really see it.

John Cena will return to WWE within the 2026 calendar year

I would say within a calendar year [of now]. ... Next calendar year, [John Cena] will be back. If it was his final match, he would not have lost.

1992 to 1993 was the greatest run of movies ever

The 1992 to 1993, like the greatest run of movies ever. The Fugitive, Jurassic Park, all those. Best year of movies.

The Barstool Internet Invitational was the best piece of sports entertainment ever on YouTube.

I do actually think that that was the best piece of sports entertainment I've ever watched on YouTube. In the YouTube video format. It was the final round had like so many twists and turns in it. It had a lot of emotions.

The song 'Take Me Home, Country Roads' is about western Virginia, not the state of West Virginia

I gotta remind you, Big Cat, it's not about West Virginia. It's about West Virginia. Yes... It's about the Shenandoah Valley [which is in Virginia].

The Italian race is essentially finished because they are too attracted to Latinas

He [Jersey Jerry] told me today that Italians were done in this country... because a lot of them are attracted to Latinas. And so then they have kids with Latinas and then there's no more Italians.

I am officially endorsing Rob Kardashian

I'm officially endorsing Rob. I'm officially endorsing Rob. [He's a] good guy. People forget about Rob and the time that he had to fly back from France because his suit didn't fit.

Dua Lipa and Callum Turner's 'same book on a plane' meet-cute story is fake

I just can't, I couldn't help myself but to bring up this story 'cause it's just so fake... He revealed that they were reading the same book the night they first met. We sat next to each other on a plane... it's too much. Fakest plane book story love story of all time.

Taylor Swift's new album is a flop

My other's back the week is Taylor Swift... heard it was a flop. From what I've seen, I, I would give it not her best... some are saying it's, it's chat GPT. It's it's, yeah.

Bill Nye and Weird Al are the two people whose cancellation would wreck my childhood

I respect Bill Nye just as a human. He would be probably top five for me in terms of if Bill Nye was canceled for being a scumbag... that would wreck my childhood. It's him and Weird Al. Those are the two big ones.

Jam bands are AI-proof because a robot can never replicate the human element of a live performance

A robot can definitely lay down some... but a robot, an AI can never play a sick live show... [Mistakes are] real man. It's proof that you're human.

Roddy Piper, Bret Hart, Terry Funk, Eddie Guerrero, Harley Race, and Dusty Rhodes are the all-time greats

I like to say six grandfathers instead of Mount Rushmore... Brett Hart... Roddy Piper... Terry Funk... Eddie Guerrero... Harley Race... Dusty Rhodes. Six with a bullet.

AJ Lee is the only free agent in pro wrestling who could top my return to WWE

If you look at the field of eligible free agents in pro wrestling, there's only one that could top what I did. And it was [AJ Lee]. It took a while to massage some things out and get it done, but to me, Wrestlepalooza is the celebration of wrestling.

Disney adults without kids should be sent to jail

I just think there should be two lines at Disney. One for people with kids and one for people without. And the people with kids get to go in the park and the people without get to go to jail, you have to go to jail. There should be a line right into a jail cell.

The Phillies fan who yelled at the man over a home run ball should be banned for life from Citizens Bank Park

I think she should be banned for rest of Citizens Bank Park... She should be banned from Citizens Bank Park... she almost fought somebody over a home run ball.

Jason Kelce will drink over 20 beers on the day of Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift's wedding

My prediction. I think that Jason Kelce is going to drink over 20 beers on the day of the wedding... I think he might drink over 20 before he even does the best man speech.

A Taylor Swift divorce album would result in incredible music

I want them to be happily married forever. A divorce album would rock... I'm saying if it happened, there would be incredible music. Right. Don't want it happen.

Zelda: Ocarina of Time is the best video game ever made

We are gonna go Zelda: Ocarina of Time... widely known as the best game ever... It's like known as being the best game ever.

Nick Mullen is the funniest guy of all time

Nick [Mullen] was a genius. He was the funniest guy of all time. No, I mean, it was incredible. It was so funny.

Taylor Swift Easter Eggs are stupid and overhyped

We're gonna take Taylor Swift Easter Eggs. Not Taylor Swift. The music, we understand the music... I, for the life of me do not understand when Taylor Swift just like matches a couple numbers... and everyone fucking goes full investigative journalism mode... it's fucking stupid.

Marvel movies are overhyped and cheesy for adults

I don't understand the hype as an adult is Marvel movies... I like good movies, but... the Marvel movies being like, you know, people like camping out for Marvel for superhero movies... it never made sense to me when they're like cheesy superhero movies.

Ryan Gosling is the hottest guy in Hollywood because he is a great actor who remains the 'guy next door'

I was gonna say [Ryan] Gosling just because I think he, like, not only can he play a character of a caricature of himself, but he also is like, I think just very striking, very, very guy next door. But he's also a really good actor, which I think is like a hard thing to do.

MGK objectively has bangers and I'm officially coming out as a fan.

MGK Dropped an album on Friday. It's good... I really dislike how much I respect MGK as an artist... He objectively has bangers. Yeah, I agree. He's, he's got good songs... I'm out. I'm officially, I'm coming out. I'm an MGK fan.

We have officially reached a sad point in society where 69 and 420 aren't the only funny numbers anymore.

Back in our day when 69 was the only funny number, 69 and 420 was all you needed. Really sad. Really sad. Where we've gotten to.

We are going to backflip a tractor because the engineering sketch looks like it will work.

Now we're actually gonna back flip a tractor because the sketch was so good. ... I was looking at it, I'm going over this. I'm like, this will work.

Little Big League is a better movie than Rookie of the Year

Little Big League I think is a better movie than Rookie of the Year. Little Big League is legit a great movie. ... I like Little Big League better.

Happy Gilmore 1 is the funniest movie of all time

I'm just gonna get mad. I wanna just enjoy a movie and Happy Gilmore 1 is the funniest movie of all time.

Happy Gilmore 2 was just a nostalgia blast rather than a good movie

I thought it was exactly what I expected going in and that it wasn't the best movie. It was nostalgia. There was a shitload of cameos. I laughed a few times and I went away being like, okay, that was fun.

Happy Gilmore 2 would be the worst movie ever if you hadn't seen the first one

Now if you haven't seen Happy Gilmore and you just watch Happy Gilmore 2, it's probably the worst movie of all time. If you've never seen the first one... they didn't try to make a brand new movie. They were just like, we're gonna make a funny, silly movie that is basically all head nods to the first one.