PMT DB
PMT DB
Travis Pastrana on Nitro Circus, Preseason Ball, and Tommy Fleetwood
We are back in studio and ball is finally in the air. Big Cat and PFT kicked things off by whipping around the league for the first week of preseason. Memes is already fully in the bag for Justin Fields in Pittsburgh, despite the fact that Fields is currently battling for his life in a position battle. He’s ready to go down with the ship.
MemesI'll defend Justin Fields until the Jets are mathematically eliminated
I'll defend Justin Fields until the jets are mathematically eliminated. [He's] gonna be good enough to win you some games.
Speaking of the Jets, the vibes in New York are apparently immaculate because Aaron Glenn is "motherfucking" people for offsides penalties. Big Cat is trying to temper his own excitement for the Bears, wondering if we've just been subjected to so much bad coaching that "competent coaching" looks like a culture shift. We also had some Shedeur Sanders discourse after Nike dropped an ad for him before he even played a snap.
Big CatShedeur Sanders' Nike ad was a little premature
I just thought that the Nike ad, only a matter of time for the first preseason game was maybe a little premature.
Injury Slime and Broken Football
The most depressing part of the weekend was seeing big names like Landon Dickerson get carted off in August. Max tried to be the voice of reason, pointing out that Dickerson was riding shotgun in the cart rather than lying on the back, but the general sentiment remains the same: preseason injuries are the worst part of sports.
Big CatPreseason injuries shouldn't count; we should just turn them off.
Preseason injuries shouldn't count. We should just turn them off. What if we just don't do it? ... Preseason injuries are absolute bullshit.
On a brighter note, Cam Little drilled a 70-yard field goal for the Jags, which led to a legitimate breakthrough in football strategy. PFT and Big Cat realized that if you have a kicker who can reliably hit from 70 plus, you can effectively retire the concept of an offense.
Big CatIf you have a kicker who can hit 77-yarders consistently, you should draft only defense and kick field goals on every drive.
If you have a guy who can kick a 77 yarder consistently... do you think a team would be like, we don't need an offense. We will just draft all defense every year... All we gotta do is get the ball to the 40 and we'll just kick... If you get three points per drive, I think you win most football games. All right. We just broke football.
Tommy Fleetwood and the Art of the Choke
In the world of golf, Scotty Scheffler continues to be an inevitable force of nature, but the real story was Tommy Fleetwood once again failing to close. Big Cat has officially come around on Fleetwood because he's a "bonafide, old-fashioned choker" and there’s something admirable about being that consistent at falling short.
Big CatTommy Fleetwood is a bonafide choker
Tommy Fleetwood is, I think I love him now 'cause it's rare that we have like just a good old bonafide, old fashioned bonafide choker and that's all he is. He can't win a [tournament].
We also touched on the most confusing baseball news of the year: a picture of Johnny Damon at Old Timers' Day that looks exactly like Max. It’s uncanny. Max’s mentions were a war zone for ten hours straight as fans realized the Pinstripes do absolutely nothing to hide the resemblance.
Pastranaland and the GOAT of Action Sports
Travis Pastrana joined the show from Pastranaland, and it was one of the coolest interviews in the history of the program. The man has broken nearly every bone in his body, including a 15th-birthday injury where his spine was essentially disconnected from his pelvis. Hearing him describe waking up from surgery only to ask when he could jump again explains everything you need to know about his career.
Travis PastranaIf you don't start riding by age 4, you likely won't turn pro today
The kids, if you don't start by four, you're probably not making it to that professional level. There's very few... it's amazing how hard these kids work.
Travis took the guys out to jump cars and gave us a peek into the "Redneck Paradise" he's built. He’s currently working on backflipping a tractor because a sketch looked promising, proving that as long as you have the right friends and a bulldozer, anything is possible.
Travis PastranaWe are going to backflip a tractor because the engineering sketch looks like it will work.
Now we're actually gonna back flip a tractor because the sketch was so good. ... I was looking at it, I'm going over this. I'm like, this will work.
He also shared some incredible stories about working with Johnny Knoxville and the Jackass crew, including a harrowing tale involving a bull and a very misplaced catheter on a Southwest flight. Travis remains the most well-adjusted insane person on the planet.
Mount Rushmore of Being Old
We finished up with the Mount Rushmore of things we can’t wait to do when we're old. While the guys debated the merits of napping and moving to good weather, Big Cat focused on the practical perks of being a senior citizen. Specifically, the ability to take what you want without anyone calling the cops.
Big CatOne of the best parts of getting old is being able to get away with light shoplifting.
Light shoplifting. Just a little bit of light shoplifting. Some of it, when you're old you can kind of just walk out with shit. And people aren't gonna get mad at you. ... Oh, I didn't know. I, I put the, that candy bar in there. ... Whoops.
Beyond the theft, the dream of the premier parking spot remains the ultimate goal for anyone entering their twilight years.
Big CatI can't wait to use a handicapped parking spot when I'm old
Handicapped parking. I can't wait to fucking do it... Primo spots. Oh, I always pass it. I'm like, obviously don't want, I'm very thankful to be able to be able, but if you're old, that's a good, that's a good deal.
Hopefully, we all make it to the retirement community phase where we can just sit on the porch and scoff at kids while eating breakfast pie.
Remember to keep your head on a swivel because even in the preseason, nobody is safe.
