Takes

This Dungeons and Dragons episode is the best one the show has ever done

It is Dungeons and Dragons Day, the best one we've ever done... I honestly think it's the best one we've ever done.

Dungeons and Dragons is the universal game of imagination that everyone has already played

I like to say D&D is the game that everyone has played. Even if you only did it when you were a kid and didn't know it was D&D, it is just the game of imagination that we all play. And it's the, it is the universal game in many ways.

Dungeons and Dragons would be an effective team-building tool for pro sports teams

I would like to see Timm Woods go into like a professional sports locker room and run a D&D thing as a team building thing.

Amateur kid mentalists are scarier than the professional ones

There was just a kid at summer camp... last year too showed up was a high school kid and was literally guessing my pin number for my ATM account. If you can do that and other people can do that, that's almost scarier. Like they're just living among us.

The name 'Six Female Chinese Boy Whisperers' instills fear in opponents

I love that. I love that people hear that name and they go running for the hills... A name that instills fear.

A sniper's most likely hiding spots are a clock tower or a warehouse

That feels like the, the two most likely places for people in Texas to hide if they're a sniper.

It is worth $40,000 to watch the Patriots lose a Super Bowl

$40,000 is a lot of money. It is, no matter how you slice it, it's worth it for the Patriots to lose. I, if you, if you would tell me that I would have to pay $40,000 for every Patriot Super Bowl loss, I'd say that's a hell of a deal. I'd shake your hand.

The Patriots are built for a long-term fight for the future

I'm excited going forward. Like I, I have never been, you know, I'm bought into this Patriots team. I'm excited for the future... knowing that there is the community of Patriots fans where it's like... going forward, we're, we're ready to fight. We're ready to keep fighting.

Going to Disney World after winning the Super Bowl is actually a punishment

The Disney world thing that they have to do is just punishment. Sam Darnold and Kenneth Walker being in the teacups right after the game when it's like all you wanna do is party with your boys. That sucks.

I would never sell my Will Campbell stock despite his bad Super Bowl

Will Campbell definitely did not have a good Super Bowl. He had a bad, bad game. Yeah. Probably pretty embarrassed... but I'm not, I'm not selling my Will Campbell stock of which I own a lot.

Seahawks coach Mike Macdonald is an absolute psycho in the best way possible

I'm obsessed with Mike Macdonald now... He is an absolute psycho. I saw two things that were like, holy fuck, this guy's a psycho... after he won the Super Bowl, he was lamenting that the season was over... And then two... [when a player sprained an ankle] he was like, 'good, good. Like adversity good.'

The Tigers bringing back Justin Verlander is a PR move to distract from arbitration drama

This feels like PR 101 from the Tigers who have signed Justin Verlander... I feel like after it's like, hey, we didn't like the... [arbitration]... They were like, 'oh, our fans hate us. Let's bring back Verlander.'

Midweek college basketball is better than the NBA

That's why I love college basketball so much, especially this time of year where every game feels so important... there's nothing like these college basketball games, a midweek game where the crowd and you get true home court advantage. And it feels like there's big, big time stakes.

LeBron James is the face of the NBA until the day he retires

As long as LeBron's in the league, LeBron is not only the face of the league, but definitely has a weighted opinion on basketball... LeBron is the face of the league until he is no longer in the league.

The Clippers made a smart pivot trading James Harden for Darius Garland

I like what the Clippers did... I don't think Darius Garland is this bad. He's a two-time all star. He's 26 years old... when he was right, he was terrific. And Harden... fourth trade request in six years. So the Clippers very quickly on the fly... you'll look at the Garland thing and go, man, they were able to land a player like that for Harden.

The Knicks' usage of Karl-Anthony Towns is becoming a real issue

The Knicks, as much fun as they are... the imperfections with them. The cat [KAT] stuff here... He's now sixth in minutes in the fourth quarter for the Knicks... since January 1st. So you're seeing his minutes decline... Mitchell Robinson's so good... I wonder if [Thibodeau] like bails on Kat in specific matchups? 'Cause he's already starting to do it in the regular season.

Stop comparing your boat to others and just appreciate your own boat

There's a lot of guys looking at your boat... that'd be enough boat for me. I think not to make this about life, but it's, it's just something to remember. There's probably somebody looking at your boat going that's that's good enough for me. I should stop looking at the other boats.

Getting mad at the NBA All-Star Game is as boring as the game itself

I hate the All Star game a lot... It's just, I don't get mad at it though. Like, it's for kids, it's kind of fun... Why would you get mad about I wish the Allstar game were competitive... I actually think getting mad at the Allstar game is, is as boring as the game itself.

Sam Darnold's performance in the NFC Championship game was his defining moment as a quarterback.

The way he [Sam Darnold] won the NFC championship game cannot be forgotten because that was probably the Super Bowl... that was his defining win as a quarterback in terms of how he played. He played a perfect game.

Mike McDonald is a defensive wizard who has swung the NFL back toward defensive-minded head coaches.

Mike McDonald is a defensive wizard... For a league that is going in one direction in terms of offensive head coaches, he has completely swung it back and being like, I can scheme up a game. I can have a game plan ready to go.

The current college basketball season is the best in a long time because the top of the rankings is loaded with juggernauts.

This might be the best college basketball season we're having right now in a long, long time. It is so loaded at the top. There are, you go eight deep of teams that feel like they are like juggernauts.

Duke cannot just lose a basketball game; they always have to make it about a larger issue like player safety.

I just love when Duke loses. They can't just lose, they have to make it about something... It has to be something bigger than just basketball. It has to be, you know, teaching kids to become men or unsportsmanlike or this or that or the other. Just lose the fucking game. You lost the game, you choked.

NIL has improved the quality of college basketball by keeping talented players in school longer.

I would make the counter argument for basketball specifically the fact that we have NIL and guys get paid. You have some super, super talented guys playing in college basketball now... some guys who are staying a little bit longer 'cause it's, you know, they can make more money playing college basketball.

The Bulls mistimed every single trade during their rebuild

The Bulls traded everyone when the players were at their worst value. Like they, they mistimed every single trade. And this is going back to [Alex] Caruso, [Zach] LaVine, [Nikola] Vucevic... They basically were like, Hey, what would be the smartest time to trade 'em? Let's wait a year and then trade 'em.

The Wizards fleeced the Mavericks in the Anthony Davis trade

I think that this is a great trade for the Wizards. I do. I think this was an absolute fleecing of the Dallas Mavericks... The two first round picks aren't really two first round picks. We didn't give up two first round picks. We gave out one that's protected that we're gonna keep. And then there's another one that could end up being like the 30th pick.

The 49ers would have beaten the Seahawks if they were healthy

At the end of the day, man, you need your horses when you're going up against the guys who have their best players. To not have me and Bosa on defense... the times that we have been healthy, man, we've been in that game down the street [Super Bowl] and have had a chance to win them.

Duke should have made the College Football Playoff this year

I was on that bus. How do you leave the ACC Champ out? [You lost four games?] Bro. Bro. But it's ACC Champ.

No one ever needs to actually 'check out' of a hotel

I've never checked out of a hotel in my entire life... The most I've ever done is once in a while... put your room key in here when you leave. Other than that... I think I threw it in the trash.

NFL referees are too focused on physical fitness and should spend more time in the lab

Here's my problem with refs. They've gotten too focused on physical fitness recently. We used to have one jacked ref that was Ed Hochuli. All these other guys are like, I wanna have big arms too. They need to be in the lab, not in the gym.

Matthew Dellavedova stinks and has zero athleticism

I have a ton of respect for Deli. 'cause he's so, so hard-nosed, but like both things can be true. Like I can have a ton of respect for him and he stink... The man was like guarding the hell outta Steph Curry... He has zero athleticism.

A Patriots loss in Super Bowl 60 would make them the 'LeBron James of the NFL' for having the most losses ever

If we lose this one, that's the most Super Bowl losses of any franchise ever. That'll put us number one... It would be the LeBron James of the NFL if we lost these the Super Bowl today... he's lost a lot of championships. Same thing.

The Arizona Cardinals head coaching job is a bad one to take

Obviously you take a job if it's offered to you, but that seems like a not great job to take. Because it's a, well, number one, it's the Cardinals. Number two, they don't really have a plan at quarterback at all. Number three, every other coach in your division rocks.

Kwesi Adofo-Mensah was fired because Sam Darnold is playing in the Super Bowl and JJ McCarthy is not

The fact that Sam Darnold is currently playing in the Super Bowl is a problem. Correct. And the report was that the paternity leave thing happened two years ago... I think that when he does get fired, then other people around the league immediately go back to the one thing they know him for, which is this weirdo took two weeks off work.

The Jets are spreading fake rumors about Drake May because they are sad

People are making up Photoshops. They're trying to create false, false narratives. Jets fans are, are, are making up rumors that are not football related about Drake. It's nonsense. It's sad. It's absolute nonsense. It's rubbish.

Sam Darnold was never the problem during his tenure with the Jets

I said, can I just say one thing to you? There are a lot of people in New York rooting for you. Parentheses. I didn't say it. But he got it. Like, he goes, it's nice for you to say. I said, no, no, I grew up at Shea Stadium... They figured out you're not the problem.

Jaxon Smith-Njigba has the best body language of any receiver I've ever seen

You'll find that fascinating. It's, Sam never heard a quarterback say it. He's got the best body language of any receiver that I've ever seen. Body language. Well, that's usually something said in a singles bar.

Bill Belichick is an obvious Hall of Famer and the voters look foolish for his snub

They look pretty foolish... I had my speech half written for Bill. Not that I'm sitting there writing it in January... 11 people [voting against him] is a lot. It's a lot of people. I understand. Willie Mays wasn't unanimous... but duh. He's in... Oh God yes. [He should be in the Hall].

PFT Commenter is concerned about Drake May's shoulder injury heading into the Super Bowl

That's my concern with a run first quarterback like that. Especially taking shots on your right shoulder, because that's the only position that a guy can't play if he's got a sore right shoulder. He took a shot, got tackled, and then he got up shaking his shoulder out, and then the very next throw he kind of short armed it, went down to the right. And now he's popped up on the injury report.

Hank dismisses Drake May's shoulder injury and calls Twitter doctors 'fake doctors'

He missed a couple throws. He'll be fine. He's a young buck. All the fake doctors on Twitter are making stuff up, but I'm not concerned about his shoulder. They act like they're in the know. They're just watching the same football that we are.

Bill Polian's Belichick Hall of Fame snub is an all-time backfire move - he's Mount Rushmore of haters

The more I've thought about it, the more I find myself agreeing with Bill Polian. No, the more I've thought about it, the more I've realized that Bill Polian, what were you doing, dude? You just basically had the whole world. Whatever legacy you had is gone. He's Mount Rushmore of haters.

Super Bowl 60 is a quintessential Mike Vrabel game - his underdog record as 3+ point underdog is above .500

I do think that Vrabel is going to take a little bit of that personally, not that he needs extra motivation. This is a quintessential Mike Vrabel game. Mike Vrabel has an underdog. If he's an underdog of three points or more this year, he's been two and oh in those games. His lifetime record in those games is above 500 as an underdog. They gave Mike Vrabel a Mike Vrabel game at the Super Bowl.

The Todd Monken hire feels pre-botched for the Browns - Ravens fans think it's a home run for the Browns as a Ravens fan

It feels maybe pre-botched, and I don't mean to disparage Todd Monken, but if you ask any Ravens fan what they think about this hire, they think it's an absolute home run for the Browns. As a Ravens fan.

Deshaun Watson having a comeback is the final boss of 'who's the next Sam Darnold'

With all the discourse around Sam Darnold quarterback reclamation projects, it's actually kind of cool to see Darnold being in the Super Bowl. Teams are gonna be like, who's the next Sam Darnold? I found myself this morning thinking about like, what if Deshaun Watson's just good again? What if he's just good? That might be the final boss of who's the next Sam Darnold.

Jimmy Haslam is at the top of the asshole dumbass owners list in the NFL

Jimmy Haslam, this is the problem. It's these fucking owners, man. Your anger should be at Jimmy Haslam and Jimmy Haslam alone. When we do our list of asshole dumbass owners, he's on the top of the list.

Mike McCarthy is a very good coach who has been unfairly clowned

I think Mike McCarthy is a very good coach. I think that he's kind of been clowned upon a little bit for not winning as much as he could, especially when he was in Green Bay. But I think he's a good coach. So I'm happy for Pittsburgh. I'm glad they got a yinzer.

LeBron James should go back to Cleveland to finish his career

I do think he should go back to Cleveland. I think he should finish it there. They still love him. The tribute videos, it's still home. He should go back to Cleveland.

Bill Belichick is rooting for the Patriots to win the Super Bowl

Patriot for life. Yeah, I actually do think he's rooting for the Patriots.

If the Seahawks win the Super Bowl, the 2018 draft becomes the Sam Darnold draft instead of the Josh Allen/Lamar Jackson draft

If the Seahawks win, does that become the Sam Darnold draft? Because right now it's the Josh Allen Lamar Jackson draft. I think it might be. I think it would have to become the Sam Darnold draft.

The Hall of Fame needs to go back to the old 80% up-or-down voting system for each finalist

They should have forced the voters to say yes or no on Bill Belichick. And they need to go back to what's the easiest fix here. Go back to the system where the finalists each have an 80% up or down, yes or no vote like it used to be. It's fundamentally unfair.

The Hall of Fame voting should be televised

The NFL televises everything. We've made a night out of the schedule release that we already know. Let's televise this thing. Let's make the writers and the voters stand behind their words. Why not?