Takes

Society was better when people who performed mentalist tricks were treated like witches

We used to be a proper society. We used to drown those people, like witches burn them. Yeah. Like it's getting a little to the point where it's like, should we throw, should we throw some rocks at him at the town square?

The Milwaukee Bucks should not play Giannis Antetokounmpo for the rest of the season

I don't even think Milwaukee would want Giannis to come back and play... They should want to do whatever they can with this pick 'cause they don't have many of 'em. And Giannis probably shouldn't even wanna play and risk health and risk this contract extension that he can get before next fall. So the tanking is gonna get egregious.

The Patriots would have won Super Bowl 60 if the Cooper Kupp bobble had been challenged and overturned.

I don't know why they didn't challenge that in real time. That was like, that's a bobble. And then it was clearly was a bobble. If he didn't, if they didn't, if they reviewed it and it gets overturned, they didn't even get a field goal... I think we win. [Sliding doors effect].

The Bad Bunny halftime show was so bad it ruined my interest in international football forever.

That halftime performance was so bad. I might have changed my stance on international football forever... It was horrible. I was watching it and I was like, this is, who is this for? This is America. This is a fucking Super Bowl.

Lindsay Vonn crashes every single time she is hyped up to ski.

I basically, every time they say, Hey, Lindsay Vonn's about to ski... she's gonna crash. I woke up and they were like, Hey Lindsay Vonn competed this morning and she crashed.

The Super Bowl halftime show is for chicks

The Super Bowl halftime show is—is—is for chicks... I don't think the average NFL fan is like, man, I hope this Super Bowl halftime show is awesome. I don't give a fuck.

Bill Belichick not being a first-ballot Hall of Famer is an embarrassment

Bill Belichick not making into the Hall of Fame first ballot... It's an embarrassment. This is based on your career and your accolades and what you've done. This isn't a personality contest.

The New England Patriots are the worst-looking team to ever make the Super Bowl

Is this the worst a team has ever looked on their way to the Super Bowl? [PFT]: The question people are gonna be asking on other shows, not ours. Is this the worst thing to ever make the Super Bowl?

Jared Stidham might have a vestigial tail that acts as a biological gyroscope for his balance

J Stidham might have a tail. An actual tail. ... Everybody was thinking that J Stidham might have a tail. ... if you have a tail, it helps you balance. It acts like a stabilizer. When you're twisting, when you're throwing, it's a biological gyroscope.

Nick Saban intentionally held back Curt Cignetti to protect his own coaching legacy

Did Nick Saban specifically not promote Curt Cignetti? Because he is like, 'Hey, if this guy gets a head coaching job, he's going to be known as the greatest head coach of all time. Not me.'... Nick Saban's been trying to keep the world from [Cignetti] for all these years.

Winning a national championship at Indiana is worth four titles at Alabama

Winning a national championship in Indiana is like probably worth four at Alabama. Yeah. So if [Curt Cignetti] wins one more, he already has passed Nick Saban.

Caleb Williams is significantly better than CJ Stroud

I don't think there's even, I don't think there's a debate who you'd take Caleb or CJ Stroud. It's not even close to a debate. No. And that's, Caleb wouldn't, it's crazy to be in this spot... CJ Stroud after his first year, he's completely regressed.

The NFL magnetized the goalposts to increase the number of 'doinks'

The goalposts are magnetized since the NFL put chips in the ball. Doinks are way up. I have zero data, but the timing is suspicious and the sound is too perfect.

TV companies are intentionally degrading the quality of old game broadcasts to sell 4K TVs

I think somebody's going back and making the feeds worse... If you try to watch a game that's from the year 2009. Yeah. Online. Yeah. It, it looks like it was shot in a, a basement camcorder situation... I swear to God, when we watch football in 2009, it looked good on tv. It didn't look like that.

Bo Nix's injury was a 'soft benching' by Sean Payton

Is this the most high profile soft benching of all time?... Think about it. If, if, if Sean Payton benched Bo Nix, everyone would riot. Now he's got a fractured ankle and he's going to Alabama and it's Diddy [Stidham], his guy.

The new Commanders stadium rendering is worth three wins a year alone.

This stadium, just looking at it, max, I think that this stadium is worth three wins a year. Yeah. The stadium alone.

The football gods cursed Mike McDaniel for not breaking the NFL single-game scoring record

Mike McDaniel chose not to go for the NFL record at the end of the game [against the Broncos in 2023]. Did not kick a field goal. I believe the football gods cursed him after that moment. The Dolphins went 23 and 25 after that.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems... This guy went to the practice field with a gause meter. It read 8.5 plus milligauss.

Mike McDaniel was cursed by the football gods for not breaking the NFL scoring record against the Broncos

2023 Dolphins scored 70 points. Mike McDaniel chose not to go for the NFL record at the end of the game. Did not kick a field goal. I believe the football gods cursed him after that moment. The Dolphins went 23 and 25 after that. The Broncos went 32 and 16 after that moment.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

The 49ers are statistically the most injured team in the NFL over the past decade since moving to Levi's stadium... Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts. ... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems. ... This guy is saying that the Niners are just getting bombarded with electric waves all day, which is fucking up their bodies.

I would have been a top 10 draft pick if my last name was easier to pronounce

Maybe a few years younger, maybe a couple letters off the last name. It might be, might be a little bit richer. So I don't, I don't know... once you learn it, it's kinda hard to forget it.

If Clint Kubiak is hired by the Giants, every Giant is a must-draft in fantasy

I think their head coach is gonna be Clint Kubiak. And if that's the case, every single giant becomes a must draft in next year's fantasy world. Because Bowles is not gonna be there. Right?

Bo Nix is 'dog phobic' because he is secretly a dog himself

He is afraid of dogs because he's worried that deep down inside... he's gonna have to tell his parents 'I'm a dog.' I think he's trying to suppress his inner dog because he knows if he becomes the dog that bit him, it's watch out world. He got bit by a dog as a child and became a dog.

Mike Tomlin has to be fired by the Steelers

Regardless of what happens next week, Tomlin's gotta go. I mean, he just gotta go. It's stale. He has a losing record in the playoffs. He refuses, he changes offensive coordinators all the time. Defense coordinators, the seasons all look the same... everything is always the same because it's Mike Tomlin.

Lamar Jackson has radiation poisoning from getting too many MRIs

Do you think Lamar Jackson has radiation poisoning? Mm. From all the MRIs. Too many MRIs and all the x-rays... It might be like Chernobyl.

Boxing is officially dead as a sport

Boxing's dead. It's currently dead. It might get brought back to life bad, but it's a bad spot. But boxing, boxing as we know is dead.

The Kansas City Chiefs should just quit for the rest of the season since they are already eliminated

There's never been a team that like deserves to quit more than the Chiefs. They've been playing so much football for the last five years... Patrick Mahomes just tore his ACL. If you're a Chiefs player, listen to this right now. Just fucking quit.

Joe Burrow is using a 'Jedi mind trick' to get the Bengals to trade him without asking directly

I think what [Burrow] is trying to do is make the Bengals decide to trade him so that he doesn't have to say, I want to be traded and get them to recognize he's not happy... I think he's trying to do the Jedi mind trick to get them to trade him without him having to ask to be traded.

Caleb Williams' throw to DJ Moore was better than 'The Catch'

Caleb's Throw was better than Joe Montana's. He threw it from the 30. Joe Montana threw it from the 18. ... I liked it so much. I thought it was the catch. I sent it to Chris Berman. ... maybe a better throw and maybe a better catch.

Jayden Daniels is the worst quarterback from the 2024 draft class

My preemptive take of the year was right. Commanders would miss a playoffs and Jayden Daniels be the worst out of all the quarterbacks in 2024. [Big Cat: 'Michael Penix?'] He looked pretty good before the injury.

The Raiders are the worst team in the NFL

The Raiders are the worst team in the league. I agree. I know. I do not think that there's a debate for it. They're one of the worst teams like ever. It's crazy watching 'em play.

Bo Nix and the Broncos are the best team in football when Nix is playing well

I think they're the best team in football with Good Bo. Yeah. With the way Bo Nicks is playing right now. ... If this Bo Nicks shows up in the playoffs, then everybody's in trouble.

AI technology is failing because it doesn't justify its investment costs

I think AI is in hot water. I feel like this is, we're we're in a good spot as humanity right now where AI has not been making enough money to justify all the investment. ... We might beat the robots.

Kirk Cousins might get another $200 million contract if he only played the Buccaneers

Kirk Cousins might have another a hundred million dollars, $200 million contract if he could just play the Tampa Bay Buccaneers because in the last three starts against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, he has thrown for 1,158 yards, 11 touchdowns, and one interception.

The 'torch' has been passed to Drake May and it cannot be passed back to Josh Allen

The torch has been passed and that's it. It's over... Drake may has the torch and then it will go until we pass it to someone else... It can't go back.

The Chiefs are more 'dead' for the future than the Cowboys

I think it's the Chiefs. I think it's the Chiefs for the now and for like the immediate future... They're $32 million over the cap for next year. How do you rebuild the offensive line... The defense has fallen off the face of the earth... I just think like this is a, a little bit, I don't know if it's just a snap my fingers and all of a sudden we're back... where it's like, if you're Dallas offensive line's really good and cheap, the the receivers are ridiculous.

The Eagles season is dead

This team is dead... Nothing will save this team. The only good thing about this team is that Kevin Patullo will get fired. We'll hire a new offensive coordinator and make the Super Bowl next year. Because it's just a cycle for the Eagles right now.

I would rather have the Eagles lose in the first round than miss the playoffs

I want to get a first round blowout so that next year could be Super Bowl... Preferably by the Bucs, but I don't think it is possible to play the Bucs in the first round.

Tyler Shuck is the best quarterback of the 2025 draft class

I'm an in on [Tyler] Shuck. Best quarterback of the class.

Matthew Stafford's 31 career pick-sixes is actually a complimentary stat

Matthew Stafford has 31 [pick-sixes]. Brett Favre has 32. And you're like, 'Ooh, that's a bad stat.' And then you realize... that means you're very, very good because you played long enough that it didn't actually matter. It's actually kind of a compliment that the rest of your game is so good that 31 pick-sixes are completely irrelevant.

The 'Blob' weather pattern could mean the end of the world

B-Big Cat, We are Earth could be finished. We could be done... There's a world, the blob never goes away... I do wanna say you're right. I was being dramatic there. Blob will go away, but it's sinking its toes right now.

The Kansas City Chiefs are officially eliminated from playoff contention

The Kansas City Chiefs have been eliminated from playoff contention... I just don't think that they can run the table because that's gonna be it. It's hard. These aren't the same chiefs.

Ben Johnson was the real alpha and culture builder in Detroit, not Dan Campbell

Who is the alpha in Detroit? Was Ben Johnson or Dan Campbell? Ben Johnson can fucking run the football. Ben Johnson is jacked. Ben Johnson is a culture builder... the violence, the aggression, the way they, the offensive, like of violence that he, it imposes on other teams. Was that Dan Campbell or was that Ben Johnson?

The New York Jets will acquire Lamar Jackson from the Ravens next season

I do go to bed and I just thinking who's the next quarterback will be next season. And right now we're on Lamar Jackson... Ravens don't make the playoffs. Raven's good organization. They've moved on from quarterbacks in the past... we got like three years of Lamar.

Jeremiah Love should win the Heisman Trophy

Let me hear hear have your Alexa hear me say Jeremiah Love should win the Heisman and then get it in the algorithm.

Turkey is a 'peasant bird' and doesn't belong on the Thanksgiving table

I'm not fucking settling for peasant for the peasant bird. Thank you very much... Turkey is dog shit. You guys don't know how cook Turkey.

Dan Campbell's fourth-down aggression is 'aggressive stupidity'

Dan Campbell goes for it all the time... I'm okay with aggression. I'm not okay with aggressive stupidity. That's the [difference]... if he had kicked field goals the other night, would he have won the game?

Billionaires who don't own a professional sports team are losers

I've said it a million times, I think it's a very strong take. If you are a billionaire and you don't own a professional sports team, you're a loser. ... The only reason you get that much money is to go buy a team.

Jacoby Brissett is currently a better quarterback than Kyler Murray

He [Jacoby Brissett] has looked a lot better than Kyler Murray's looked this season. That's not—that's not a mistake. He's better right now.

The Lions are frauds who only score points against terrible teams

Every—this, it's a Lions suck fest because they score a lot of points against shitty fucking teams... This is just what the Lions do every fucking year. They score a lot of points against shitty fucking teams and everyone thinks that they're the best.