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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday because he has enough people sucking his dick

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday by the way. Fuck, fuck that guy. He's got enough people to suck his dick and wish him a happy birthday. Awful announcing quote that. I hope I do it again next year.

Subjective opinion on a celebrity's social status.

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Mar 27, 2026
#30073
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I will never learn my lesson and will continue to believe in the Houston Cougars for the next four years

If you think this is going to deter me from believing in the Houston Cougars for the next four years, you are sadly mistaken. I will never learn my lesson when it comes to this team.

The Cougars have historically struggled to get over the hump in the tournament despite high seeds.
Loss
Mar 27, 2026
#30074
Big CatBig Cat

Arizona is the best team in the country

Arizona just showing that they are probably the best team in the country because they absolutely whooped Arkansas.

Arizona lost to Clemson in the 2024 Sweet 16, which is the real-world event this likely parodies despite the prompt's 2026 date.
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Mar 27, 2026
#30075
Big CatBig Cat

Ben McCollum will never leave the Iowa Hawkeyes for another job

I don't think he's going anywhere. He's from Iowa City. He's coached for 15 years in division two... gets his dream job at Iowa. I don't think he's going anywhere.

McCollum was a highly sought-after name after his D2 success.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

If Messi wins the 2026 World Cup, he is the GOAT of all sports GOATs

So if he wins the World Cup again, I'm prepared to say he might be the GOAT GOAT. Like the GOAT of GOATs. Right now I think Michael Jordan and Muhammad Ali are both tied for the GOAT GOAT... But Messi could get on the Mount Rushmore of GOAT GOATs.

Messi has reached the 2026 final in this transcript. A win would make him a back-to-back champion, making the GOAT claim very strong.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

France will beat England in the World Cup third-place game, giving England the all-time record for third-place game losses.

England has, they've got the possibility to set the all time record for most third place game losses. Right now they're tied with Brazil with two. If they lose another one, then that would mean that they have that record on their own. And if you look back through history or at least recent history, three of the last five champions of the World Cup go on to win the third place game the next year. So that would mean that France would win this third place game and England would etch their names into history.

Pending the outcome of the 2026 World Cup 3rd-place game between France and England.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Warde Manuel is about to be fired as the Michigan Athletic Director

I think Warde Manuel's about to get fired... They've leaked a few things to the media regarding the investigation and in the things that they've leaked, they've squarely pointed their finger at Warde Manuel and been like Warde knew the entire time.

The outcome of Manuel's tenure and the NCAA investigation at Michigan remains to be seen.