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Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday because he has enough people sucking his dick

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday by the way. Fuck, fuck that guy. He's got enough people to suck his dick and wish him a happy birthday. Awful announcing quote that. I hope I do it again next year.

Subjective opinion on a celebrity's social status.

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Open
Mar 27, 2026
#30073
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I will never learn my lesson and will continue to believe in the Houston Cougars for the next four years

If you think this is going to deter me from believing in the Houston Cougars for the next four years, you are sadly mistaken. I will never learn my lesson when it comes to this team.

The Cougars have historically struggled to get over the hump in the tournament despite high seeds.
Loss
Mar 27, 2026
#30074
Big CatBig Cat

Arizona is the best team in the country

Arizona just showing that they are probably the best team in the country because they absolutely whooped Arkansas.

Arizona lost to Clemson in the 2024 Sweet 16, which is the real-world event this likely parodies despite the prompt's 2026 date.
Open
Mar 27, 2026
#30075
Big CatBig Cat

Ben McCollum will never leave the Iowa Hawkeyes for another job

I don't think he's going anywhere. He's from Iowa City. He's coached for 15 years in division two... gets his dream job at Iowa. I don't think he's going anywhere.

McCollum was a highly sought-after name after his D2 success.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Washington Wizards have a better future than the Philadelphia 76ers

Who would you rather be right now, the 76ers or the Washington Wizards? Like the future? Yeah. Gotta be the wizards. Without a doubt. The Wizards. I mean you have an all NBA first teamer Anthony Davis, Trey Young has proven he can be a clutch player... and then you have the number one pick.

The Wizards having the #1 pick and younger stars versus the Sixers' aging core and playoff exits makes this a debatable but grounded stance.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

LeBron James will retire after the 2026 season because he has caught the 'golf bug'

I think the golfing, the golf bug might have convinced LeBron James to to forego another full year in the NBA. I think he's gonna be like, you know what, this is kind of awesome. I'm just gonna play golf.

LeBron's retirement status for the 2026 offseason is unknown.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eastern Conference will take over as the dominant conference in the NBA over the next five years

If I'm the East, I'm thinking to myself like, in the next five years, we could take over the West. Like we we're, we're gonna be the dominant contest.

This is a long-term prediction that depends on the trajectory of young cores like the Magic, Knicks, and Wizards vs. the Thunder and Spurs.