Takes

Michigan was the best team all year — outside of Duke, who would have won the championship by a lot

They were the best team. They were the best team all year outside of Duke. 'Cause that actually was my other big takeaway — Duke just completely, Duke beat this Michigan team a month and a half ago.

Duke would have won the National Championship by 50 points if they had reached the final.

I think if Duke plays in the championship game, they win by 50. Easily. That was a wasted opportunity.

College basketball is now 'pay to win' and that's unsustainable

It's a pay to win tournament. Like basketball is ruined. Unsustainable. Yeah, that's the new word that I keep hearing.

Diana Russini likely leaked the Sedona hotel photos herself to publicly announce her hatred for the New York Jets.

I also kind of think she leaked this article. Like who gives a fuck about Mike Vrabel going out in the middle of the desert? Who leaks that? And then what better way to announce your hate for the Jets than being like, I'm hanging out with Mike Vrabel pants on a rooftop.

Arturas Karnisovas was definitively the worst General Manager in the NBA during his Bulls tenure.

AK [Arturas Karnisovas] was one of, if not no, he was definitely the worst GM right now in the NBA. That's, I think that's actually, you can't dispute that fact. The moves that were made... absolute disaster of a front office. Terrible at scouting, terrible at trades, terrible at timing.

The Chicago Bulls should offer Sam Presti ownership stakes to get him to run the team.

The Bulls should go out and try to say, Sam Presti, here's any amount of money. You name the number. Give him ownership. Just spend it and make a team good. I just cannot understand if I owned a team, I would spend all my money in hiring the smartest guys to do everything.

Roman Anthony is a defensive liability for the Red Sox because everyone is successfully running on him in left field.

Roman Anthony, world baseball classic hero. But he has been, he's become a meme basically. If he can't, he just can't throw anyone out from left field. Everyone's just running on Roman. Shane tried to tell me he was great last year, but he was playing right field. Now he's playing left field... it's just not good.

Space exploration isn't interesting until we actually land a human on Mars.

I kind of just don't care until we go to Mars. Call me when we're at Mars. I wanna see us on the moon again. How is that possible that we went on the moon in the sixties and we just never went back on it? Go to Mars or go back on the moon.

The $1.2 billion valuation of the Enhanced Games is a fake number.

The enhanced games just got valued at $1.2 billion. And the enhanced games... are the steroid users alternative to the Olympics. It's being run by Peter Thiel. It sounds like it's a fake valuation because it just sounds good to say $1.2 billion.

The Masters is 'above' selling gimmick hats with pimento cheese on them.

The Masters shouldn't have hats that you could like, that says like Peach on it, right? Pimento? I just feel like the Masters is like above that. The Masters has such a cool logo and they're so like strict with it that like that's all they need, you know?

Gary Woodland winning the Masters would be the best emotional story in golf following his brain surgery.

Number three I got Gary Woodland winning. Obviously I think this is the one that would be the most emotional. I'm sure you guys followed the whole journey... with the brain surgery and PTSD. He's second on the PGA tour in driving distance this year at the age of 41... I feel good story in my list.

The Masters' new range tracking app feature makes players feel self-conscious about their practice sessions.

It does [feel like an invasion of privacy] a little now that we know that it happens. You start to worry a bit about your spreads. Like if you just hit like one stinker, you're like ah, that's gonna look like an outlier. Some people are gonna think I'm sucking pretty bad. I am even more self-conscious now that someone was seeing all that.

My 12th place finish last year was more impressive than my 3rd place finish because I was playing terribly coming in

My third was awesome but last year I was playing like dog nuts coming into it and I played awful here. But I like definitely to answer your question, think I like learned where to leave it and learned certain golf shots. Last year's 12th was significantly more shocking than the year before's third.

Golfers overthink the 12th hole at Augusta National way too much and should just attack the pin if the shot fits them.

I a hundred percent agree [people overthink it]. Last year I got to that hole... I just remember I was like, what am I so afraid of? Like, if anything fits me, it's this. So I was like, just aim a couple steps left of it and hit the fucking nine iron and I did it... Unless I got a five shot lead, I'm playing it like that. Because it is like you're sometimes too passive.

The Chainsmokers look more like podcasters than a successful EDM group

I say that the Chainsmokers, they look the most like a podcast of any massively successful EDM group. Two white guys. Yeah. Listen, I'm saying that as a podcaster.

Geno Auriemma is the biggest baby ever for his reaction to the 2026 Final Four loss

I don't think there's ever been a bigger baby ever than Geno. Everything he tried to say in the press conference was just immediately refuted to be false — Dawn Staley didn't shake my hand at the beginning of the game. Yes, she did. Sarah Strong got her jersey ripped. No, she ripped it herself.

The NBA regular season is currently the worst product in sports

Can I say about the NBA... I think that the NBA has never been worse in terms of regular season. It's an absolute joke. Friday, every single team was playing like a tanking team was playing a playoff team and none of the games were close. The regular season NBA is like the worst product. It just sucks.

Dawn Staley's post-loss quote — 'I can swallow the loss because we lost to a really good human being' — is the biggest loser quote ever heard

That is maybe the biggest loser quote that I've ever heard. And she's a great coach. 'I can swallow the loss because we lost to a really good human being and a good team.' She's still thinking about Geno.

The Eagles front office and coaching staff authorized a hatchet job against Jalen Hurts

There are some people in that still work for the Eagles in the front office and the coaching ranks of the Philadelphia Eagles that authorized a hatchet job against their starting quarterbacks. Not just your [Kevin Patullo]s, not just the guys that used to work there... There's some guys inside those walls that gave the go ahead and the green light to run a clear hit piece against the guy.

Kirk Cousins and Fernando Mendoza will be best friends on the Raiders

I can't think of a better pairing than Kirk Cousins and Fernando Mendoza... they're gonna be best friends. They're just like brothers. They're the same guy.

Danny Hurley will be the best bald coach in sports history if he wins a third championship

I think that would make Danny Hurley the best bald coach in sports history. The only other option could be Red Auerbach, but he wasn't bald for his entire career. I think right now he's already on the Mount Rushmore of bald head coaches. But if he wins a third, that puts you in rarefied air.

Duke's failure to use a true point guard the last two years was arrogance — they thought they were better than basketball

The arrogance of Duke the last two years being like, you know what? We don't need a true point guard. We don't need a guy who we can trust, who can get his shot off the dribble, who can bring, who can break a press, who can in those big moments calm down the offense. They thought they could — they were better than basketball.

Illinois is being massively disrespected — the UConn-Illinois game is just as much a de facto national championship game as Arizona-Michigan

I wanna push back on something that's the narrative that's going around right now that the national championship is the late game on Saturday night. I think that's so disrespectful to UConn and Illinois — two teams that absolutely can win this whole thing.

I will not mindlessly scroll on my phone unless I am walking on a treadmill pad

The rule I came up for myself with is: if I'm scrolling, I'm strolling. So I'm not gonna let myself just mindlessly scroll through my phone unless I'm on the walking pad. I feel like that's gonna make my steps... easy 12,000 a day.

I officially enjoy golfing and believe it is a fun sport

I actually enjoyed golfing and that is my fire fest. It's a fun sport. Like we had a very good time... it suck, we had such a good time. I feel bad even saying this... I enjoyed it.

The NFL has a 'pretty boy' coaching problem where everyone looks like Sean McVay

The McVay tree has made offensive football fantastic in the NFL, but it's also made a bunch of pretty boys who all wear the same shade of blue. And thank God Mike McCarthy, Big Mike, is back because we needed someone like that, an old school football guy who forgot to button one of his buttons. But this is what the new NFL is: pretty boys.

Joe Brady looks like the guy in high school who sells you a shitty bag of weed

I said in my blog, Joe Brady looks like a guy who, the first guy in high school who buys a white Jetta and is gonna sell you a shitty bag of weed.

Inhaled 'Protein Hookah' will revolutionize bro culture

A doctor claims that inhaled protein enters the bloodstream faster and absorb more efficiently. It's kinda like weed. All I'm saying is like keep your eye on this technology. Because it has the opportunity to revolutionize bro culture.

Tiger Woods should just never drive again

He should just never drive again.

Referee Roger Ayers is one of the greatest officials of all time

Roger's like very playful. I mean, listen, the guy is, he's one of the greatest refs ever. You know, like the guy don't, he don't mess up a lot of calls.

Society has gotten too soft — kids need dodgeball, the SAT, and pressure to build real toughness

The fact that we're not playing dodgeball in gym class, and even there should be some type of standardized tests. What happened to the SAT? Like we've gotten so soft on young people that you don't even have to go through like the pressure and stress of having to prepare for that test, take that test, have to get some type of a number. Or dodgeball in gym class. You don't think that this is gonna make people tougher and more resilient? Greater fortitude, be prepared to handle the things that come up in life, the ability to compete, have to respond from failure, deal with pressure.

Every golf course should make the 18th hole a short par five to give casual players hope

Every golf course should have the 18th hole be a short par five for the casual shitty golfer. It gives them the life and hope that they enjoy the round. If they can make it on and two and have an eagle birdie chance. I love this.

The loss to UConn belongs on the Mount Rushmore of bad Duke losses in the last five years

This choke makes the Mount Rushmore of bad Duke losses in the last five years, but barely... 2022 Final four. They lost in Coach K's retirement game... 2023 fuck they lost in the second round by 13 points... 2024 they lost in the Elite eight to NC State... and this year they lost first one seed to lose by in a game where they led by 19 points.

This Duke choke was the Godfather 2 of Duke losses — the sequel was even better than last year

A lot of times the sequel is not as good as the original. This sequel was so much better. This was Godfather Two. Last year you're like, how could it get better? It got better. Duke, thank you — you somehow made a way to make it even better. And that's almost impossible to do.

Duke losing has the highest universal approval rating of anything in sports

Duke losing is number one on that list across the board. I think Duke losing is number one.

Jon Scheyer should not be allowed to wear the Blue Devil logo until he wins a championship

Scheyer needs to take the D off of his sweatsuit. Off of his chest. He should not be allowed to wear that patch. He's gotta earn it back. Win a championship, then you can wear the Blue Devil logo on your chest.

Duke has been cursed since they beat Wisconsin in the 2015 championship

Is there a chance that that, that Duke has a Wisconsin curse... They haven't won a title since they beat Wisconsin in 2015... I listed all those guys... it feels like it's a brewing of a curse.

Jon Scheyer might be on the hot seat after another tournament failure

Jon Scheyer might be on the hot seat. I don't know how you don't call a timeout. It's the time. I don't know how you don't like, that's like day, literally day one of camp is like, all right, let's run some, some out of bounds end of game situations.

Rick Barnes is currently a very underrated coach in college basketball

I actually think that Rick Barnes is, he's proven that he's a great, great coach... I think Rick Barnes, he's, I think he's actually, he's gotten to the point where he's a very underrated coach in college basketball.

It is not a flex for a 23-year-old college player to complain about a freshman guarding them

[Axel] Lindenberg was incredible today... he does do this thing where he like, did you see that after the Bamba game where he was like, I can't believe they put a freshman on me... you're like 24 years old dude. Like, you're gonna have someone younger than you. It's real. It's actually not that much of a flex to be like a 23-year-old playing college basketball player and he'd be like, I can't believe they put this freshman.

Iowa fans are the happiest fan base of any team that lost in the Elite Eight

If you're an Iowa fan, Iowa's gotta be the the happiest fan base that lost in Elite Eight. Right. Of of course. Yeah. 'cause that's a, that's a team that did not have a ton of talent. And Ben McCollum got 'em so far.

I am not a fan of the Automated Ball-Strike (ABS) system in baseball

I'm not a fan... I just don't understand why you even have umpires in the first place if you're gonna do the ABS thing. There's gonna be so many more [reviews] in baseball.

Stealing the ball in basketball is unethical and against the gentleman's code

I actually, I don't know if you know this, but I called you before the tournament the most ethical hoops team in the entire tournament because you guys don't steal the ball a ton and you also don't foul a ton, so you just play straight up. That's ethical. A lot of teams are trying to steal — stealing the ball is actually against the gentleman's code of the game of basketball. Dr. James Naismith would not appreciate that. You guys do it in an ethical way. You just play good hoops.

Tiger Woods is a bad guy for repeatedly driving under the influence

Tiger Woods got in another car crash... Tiger, the memories he's given us... I don't understand some of the Tiger fanboys that can't just like separate it at this point and be like, hey, if he was doing this... bad guy! You're putting other people's lives at risk... schools are getting out? Bad guy.

Tiger Woods is an all-time scumbag for not hiring a driver despite his wealth

If you're Tiger Woods, it is so easy for you to afford a full-time driver... and he doesn't, and the only difference between some people trying to defend Tiger right now, and Tiger being an all time scumbag is that he got lucky and didn't hurt anybody... if he does hurt somebody, it's going to be the biggest no shit moment ever. Big time scumbag.

Rory McIlroy's Masters Champions Dinner menu is worse than Scottie Scheffler's

I thought that Scotty's was way better... I feel like on, that's a normal thing to talk about. What was on Rory's? He had like a bunch of fish. He had a, a tiny filet... desserts were nowhere near as like the, the warm skillet cookie that Scotty had... Rory's... looks like it's trying too hard.

Jay Bilis is being disingenuous with his criticism of the transfer portal

Jay Bilis is being disingenuous... what I don't understand about Jay Bilis is like, so what if people complain about the transfer portal and the NIL... this is a tweet from 20 years ago. Everyone's saying Will Wade's a dickhead.

Hating Duke will never fall out of style

Duke needs to be hateable forever. Who is the Athletic? This is bullshit. Don't who wrote this? You want them to be forever. It will never not be cool. It's always been cool.

Golf carts should replace cars as the primary mode of transportation for non-highway use

What is your thoughts on maybe moving away from cars and really locking in on the golf cart as transportation A to B and only using cars highway use only. So like neighborhoods outside of that. We're just using golf carts on an everyday basis for travel.

Tiger Woods is just a regular guy and people should let him enjoy golf instead of constantly asking if he'll play

I try to tell everybody, man, like Tiger's just like a guy. And I honestly do feel bad for him a lot of the times when we do these interviews because he hasn't played golf in a while. And every question's just like, so are you gonna like golf for us next year or next week at the Masters? And it's like, can you just let him live? He's won a shit ton of golf tournaments. I'd just like for him to enjoy playing golf.