Takes

This Dungeons and Dragons episode is the best one the show has ever done

It is Dungeons and Dragons Day, the best one we've ever done... I honestly think it's the best one we've ever done.

Dungeons and Dragons is the universal game of imagination that everyone has already played

I like to say D&D is the game that everyone has played. Even if you only did it when you were a kid and didn't know it was D&D, it is just the game of imagination that we all play. And it's the, it is the universal game in many ways.

Dungeons and Dragons would be an effective team-building tool for pro sports teams

I would like to see Timm Woods go into like a professional sports locker room and run a D&D thing as a team building thing.

Society was better when people who performed mentalist tricks were treated like witches

We used to be a proper society. We used to drown those people, like witches burn them. Yeah. Like it's getting a little to the point where it's like, should we throw, should we throw some rocks at him at the town square?

Amateur kid mentalists are scarier than the professional ones

There was just a kid at summer camp... last year too showed up was a high school kid and was literally guessing my pin number for my ATM account. If you can do that and other people can do that, that's almost scarier. Like they're just living among us.

The name 'Six Female Chinese Boy Whisperers' instills fear in opponents

I love that. I love that people hear that name and they go running for the hills... A name that instills fear.

A sniper's most likely hiding spots are a clock tower or a warehouse

That feels like the, the two most likely places for people in Texas to hide if they're a sniper.

It is worth $40,000 to watch the Patriots lose a Super Bowl

$40,000 is a lot of money. It is, no matter how you slice it, it's worth it for the Patriots to lose. I, if you, if you would tell me that I would have to pay $40,000 for every Patriot Super Bowl loss, I'd say that's a hell of a deal. I'd shake your hand.

The Patriots are built for a long-term fight for the future

I'm excited going forward. Like I, I have never been, you know, I'm bought into this Patriots team. I'm excited for the future... knowing that there is the community of Patriots fans where it's like... going forward, we're, we're ready to fight. We're ready to keep fighting.

Going to Disney World after winning the Super Bowl is actually a punishment

The Disney world thing that they have to do is just punishment. Sam Darnold and Kenneth Walker being in the teacups right after the game when it's like all you wanna do is party with your boys. That sucks.

Seahawks coach Mike Macdonald is an absolute psycho in the best way possible

I'm obsessed with Mike Macdonald now... He is an absolute psycho. I saw two things that were like, holy fuck, this guy's a psycho... after he won the Super Bowl, he was lamenting that the season was over... And then two... [when a player sprained an ankle] he was like, 'good, good. Like adversity good.'

The Tigers bringing back Justin Verlander is a PR move to distract from arbitration drama

This feels like PR 101 from the Tigers who have signed Justin Verlander... I feel like after it's like, hey, we didn't like the... [arbitration]... They were like, 'oh, our fans hate us. Let's bring back Verlander.'

Midweek college basketball is better than the NBA

That's why I love college basketball so much, especially this time of year where every game feels so important... there's nothing like these college basketball games, a midweek game where the crowd and you get true home court advantage. And it feels like there's big, big time stakes.

LeBron James is the face of the NBA until the day he retires

As long as LeBron's in the league, LeBron is not only the face of the league, but definitely has a weighted opinion on basketball... LeBron is the face of the league until he is no longer in the league.

Stop comparing your boat to others and just appreciate your own boat

There's a lot of guys looking at your boat... that'd be enough boat for me. I think not to make this about life, but it's, it's just something to remember. There's probably somebody looking at your boat going that's that's good enough for me. I should stop looking at the other boats.

Getting mad at the NBA All-Star Game is as boring as the game itself

I hate the All Star game a lot... It's just, I don't get mad at it though. Like, it's for kids, it's kind of fun... Why would you get mad about I wish the Allstar game were competitive... I actually think getting mad at the Allstar game is, is as boring as the game itself.

The Bad Bunny halftime show was so bad it ruined my interest in international football forever.

That halftime performance was so bad. I might have changed my stance on international football forever... It was horrible. I was watching it and I was like, this is, who is this for? This is America. This is a fucking Super Bowl.

The current college basketball season is the best in a long time because the top of the rankings is loaded with juggernauts.

This might be the best college basketball season we're having right now in a long, long time. It is so loaded at the top. There are, you go eight deep of teams that feel like they are like juggernauts.

Duke cannot just lose a basketball game; they always have to make it about a larger issue like player safety.

I just love when Duke loses. They can't just lose, they have to make it about something... It has to be something bigger than just basketball. It has to be, you know, teaching kids to become men or unsportsmanlike or this or that or the other. Just lose the fucking game. You lost the game, you choked.

NIL has improved the quality of college basketball by keeping talented players in school longer.

I would make the counter argument for basketball specifically the fact that we have NIL and guys get paid. You have some super, super talented guys playing in college basketball now... some guys who are staying a little bit longer 'cause it's, you know, they can make more money playing college basketball.

The Bulls mistimed every single trade during their rebuild

The Bulls traded everyone when the players were at their worst value. Like they, they mistimed every single trade. And this is going back to [Alex] Caruso, [Zach] LaVine, [Nikola] Vucevic... They basically were like, Hey, what would be the smartest time to trade 'em? Let's wait a year and then trade 'em.

The 49ers would have beaten the Seahawks if they were healthy

At the end of the day, man, you need your horses when you're going up against the guys who have their best players. To not have me and Bosa on defense... the times that we have been healthy, man, we've been in that game down the street [Super Bowl] and have had a chance to win them.

Duke should have made the College Football Playoff this year

I was on that bus. How do you leave the ACC Champ out? [You lost four games?] Bro. Bro. But it's ACC Champ.

NFL referees are too focused on physical fitness and should spend more time in the lab

Here's my problem with refs. They've gotten too focused on physical fitness recently. We used to have one jacked ref that was Ed Hochuli. All these other guys are like, I wanna have big arms too. They need to be in the lab, not in the gym.

Matthew Dellavedova stinks and has zero athleticism

I have a ton of respect for Deli. 'cause he's so, so hard-nosed, but like both things can be true. Like I can have a ton of respect for him and he stink... The man was like guarding the hell outta Steph Curry... He has zero athleticism.

I have a top-five basketball IQ in the NBA

I definitely 1000% have a top five basketball IQ in the NBA for sure... Myself, [LeBron], Joker... Chris Paul... and Luca.

Bill Belichick not being a first-ballot Hall of Famer is an embarrassment

Bill Belichick not making into the Hall of Fame first ballot... It's an embarrassment. This is based on your career and your accolades and what you've done. This isn't a personality contest.

The Arizona Cardinals head coaching job is a bad one to take

Obviously you take a job if it's offered to you, but that seems like a not great job to take. Because it's a, well, number one, it's the Cardinals. Number two, they don't really have a plan at quarterback at all. Number three, every other coach in your division rocks.

Kwesi Adofo-Mensah was fired because Sam Darnold is playing in the Super Bowl and JJ McCarthy is not

The fact that Sam Darnold is currently playing in the Super Bowl is a problem. Correct. And the report was that the paternity leave thing happened two years ago... I think that when he does get fired, then other people around the league immediately go back to the one thing they know him for, which is this weirdo took two weeks off work.

The Jets are spreading fake rumors about Drake May because they are sad

People are making up Photoshops. They're trying to create false, false narratives. Jets fans are, are, are making up rumors that are not football related about Drake. It's nonsense. It's sad. It's absolute nonsense. It's rubbish.

Sam Darnold was never the problem during his tenure with the Jets

I said, can I just say one thing to you? There are a lot of people in New York rooting for you. Parentheses. I didn't say it. But he got it. Like, he goes, it's nice for you to say. I said, no, no, I grew up at Shea Stadium... They figured out you're not the problem.

Jaxon Smith-Njigba has the best body language of any receiver I've ever seen

You'll find that fascinating. It's, Sam never heard a quarterback say it. He's got the best body language of any receiver that I've ever seen. Body language. Well, that's usually something said in a singles bar.

Bill Belichick is an obvious Hall of Famer and the voters look foolish for his snub

They look pretty foolish... I had my speech half written for Bill. Not that I'm sitting there writing it in January... 11 people [voting against him] is a lot. It's a lot of people. I understand. Willie Mays wasn't unanimous... but duh. He's in... Oh God yes. [He should be in the Hall].

Bill Polian's Belichick Hall of Fame snub is an all-time backfire move - he's Mount Rushmore of haters

The more I've thought about it, the more I find myself agreeing with Bill Polian. No, the more I've thought about it, the more I've realized that Bill Polian, what were you doing, dude? You just basically had the whole world. Whatever legacy you had is gone. He's Mount Rushmore of haters.

Jimmy Haslam is at the top of the asshole dumbass owners list in the NFL

Jimmy Haslam, this is the problem. It's these fucking owners, man. Your anger should be at Jimmy Haslam and Jimmy Haslam alone. When we do our list of asshole dumbass owners, he's on the top of the list.

Mike McCarthy is a very good coach who has been unfairly clowned

I think Mike McCarthy is a very good coach. I think that he's kind of been clowned upon a little bit for not winning as much as he could, especially when he was in Green Bay. But I think he's a good coach. So I'm happy for Pittsburgh. I'm glad they got a yinzer.

Bill Belichick is rooting for the Patriots to win the Super Bowl

Patriot for life. Yeah, I actually do think he's rooting for the Patriots.

The Hall of Fame needs to go back to the old 80% up-or-down voting system for each finalist

They should have forced the voters to say yes or no on Bill Belichick. And they need to go back to what's the easiest fix here. Go back to the system where the finalists each have an 80% up or down, yes or no vote like it used to be. It's fundamentally unfair.

The Hall of Fame voting should be televised

The NFL televises everything. We've made a night out of the schedule release that we already know. Let's televise this thing. Let's make the writers and the voters stand behind their words. Why not?

Conference championships should not be played at neutral sites - football is an outdoor sport that should be played in the elements

I don't like the idea of doing a neutral site. I think if you get the higher seed you should be rewarded for playing better in the regular season. The snow and the elements and the wind and the cities that the teams are based in is a good addition. If Russia had built a dome, they'd all be speaking German right now. Football is an outdoor sport. Fundamentally, it should be played in the wintertime. It should be played in the elements.

The Hall of Fame is a joke for not making Bill Belichick a first-ballot inductee

The Hall of Fame looks really stupid being like, yeah, Bill Belichick's not a first-ballot Hall of Famer. It's like that one guy who voted against Derek Jeter. It was the dumbest thing ever... The Hall of Fame is a complete joke now.

Mike Vrabel is the best situational coach in football

Vrabel I think is one of the, if not the best situational coaches in football... he knows football. He'll get down in the dirt with you. He'll block you, he'll try to run a route on you at practice.

Jalen Ramsey is the hardest cornerback to play against

Jalen Ramsey... he was one of the first defenders that could go out there and run with you and jump with you, tackle you. The guy basically could be a receiver if he wanted to... we groomed and I would say changed each other's game.

The NFL should simplify catch rules to avoid black-and-white controversies

I think the one that should really be reviewed and the NFL should look at is the Isaiah Likely situation... a guy crosses the end zone with the ball, that's a touchdown. So why not having possession of one, two in the end zone being a touchdown? ... I think the NFL should change it for sure... where it's not black and white.

New England Patriots success is inevitable and I am done fighting against it

I am done fighting against Hank. I'm done fighting against Patriots fans. It's you, you'd have better luck rooting for the tide not to come in. You'd have better luck rooting for the sun not to rise in the east every morning. I've made the decision to just profit off of it because it's inevitable... they're just a franchise that has a horseshoe shoved up their ass and you can accept it or you can fight against the inevitable and be miserable. I'm choosing love. I'm choosing to love the Patriots from now on because Hank was right.

The Denver Broncos would have beaten the Patriots if Bo Nix had started

[Big Cat]: If Bo Nix starts that game, do you think the Broncos win? [PFT]: Yeah. [Big Cat]: Yeah. It's safe to say Bo Nix would've bojangled fried these guys.

The New England Patriots are the worst-looking team to ever make the Super Bowl

Is this the worst a team has ever looked on their way to the Super Bowl? [PFT]: The question people are gonna be asking on other shows, not ours. Is this the worst thing to ever make the Super Bowl?

Special teams is the most magnified and important factor in NFL playoff margins

I think in the playoffs, more than anything, it comes true: special teams. Because we make the joke, oh it's a third of the game because it's a cliché and obviously it's not as important as offense/defense, but when you get into the playoffs and the margins are so thin, special teams becomes so, so important and so magnified.

The Seattle Seahawks have been the best team in the NFL all season

I think that if you look at the entire season, the Seahawks have been the best team in the NFL. [Big Cat]: You agree? [PFT]: Yeah. We got a great Super Bowl matchup. The best team in the NFL and the luckiest team in the NFL.

Hiring Mike McCarthy is like shitting your pants and only changing your shirt

Going from Tomlin to McCarthy is like shitting your pants and changing your shirt. [Big Cat]: I don't know if it's right. Because again, Mike McCarthy is a good coach... but I too understand how you would look for somebody that's like a very clear change of direction and this is not that type of hire.