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Void
HankHank

I need to get into a car accident that totals my car so I have an excuse to buy a new one

I need to get in an accident that totals this car so that I have no choice but to get a new car. I want to get a sick car. That way I don't even have a choice.

This is Hank expressing a desire to total his car for an excuse to buy a new one, not a verifiable prediction.

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Loss
Mar 13, 2026
#29900
Big CatBig Cat

Miami of Ohio 100% deserves to be in the NCAA Tournament despite their first-round loss

I think a hundred percent they should be in. We need to just focus on the fact that there, I believe 31 and one and not do anything about strength of schedule. If you're able to go an entire season without losing a game that's hard to just wake up every day and not stumble once. I wanna see what happens when they play their first quad win one game in the middle of March.

This is part of the satirical 'Future' bit; Miami of Ohio was not 31-1 in 2026 (or 2024).
Win
Mar 13, 2026
#29901
MaxMax

Villanova is 100% in the tournament and has a 0% chance of reaching the Sweet 16

Nova's just gonna be the team. They're gonna get in and then everyone's gonna be like, oh yeah, this team's losing first round. Yes, they'll probably drop a drop to the 8-9 [seed], which sucks because then there's a 0% chance that Villanova gets to the Sweet 16.

Villanova made the tournament as an 8 seed and lost in the first round to Utah State. Both parts of the prediction were correct.
Void
Mar 13, 2026
#29911
Big CatBig Cat

Conference tournaments are bad for top teams because they don't improve your seeding and lead to unnecessary fatigue

I'm kind of done with the conference tournaments. Like they just fuck you. It doesn't make your seed better and you end up being more tired today. If you have to play four games, you're just gonna get screwed.

The value of conference tournaments for high-seeded teams is a perennial debate in sports media.

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Win
HankHank

The Giants are a strong play with the points

I love the Giants nine. JJ McCarthy was phenomenal last week. You look great. The Texans are not great.

Hank predicted the Giants would be a strong play with +9 points against the Texans. The New York Giants defeated the Houston Texans 27-21 in overtime on October 25, 2026, winning the game outright and easily covering the spread.
Open
HankHank

I bet a lot of money on the Patriots to win the Super Bowl

I bet a lot of money on the Patriots to win the Super Bowl.

The Patriots' 2026 season and Super Bowl outcome are not yet resolved.
Void
HankHank

Mike McDaniel Should Already Be Fired

Their offense is horrible. Mike McDaniel should have already been fired.

This is a judgment about coaching performance and is inherently subjective.