PMT DB
PMT DB
The Rays are going to the World Series, the NFC East is somehow still gettable, and college football just delivered the kind of Saturday that makes a normal sports fan climb into bed and immediately need to explain 14 different disasters to their spouse. PFT and Big Cat had a full slate to work with, including one extremely important debate: how many times is a home-run hitter allowed to stop during the trot? The answer, according to Big Cat, is once. Baseball needs rules, apparently.
The Rays Reach The World Series
Tampa Bay outlasted Cleveland and set up an analytics World Series against Milwaukee, a matchup PFT described as a coordination of “nerd culture.” The Brewers and Rays have the front-office crossover, the spreadsheet guys, the directional hitting, and presumably several people who can explain why a pitcher should move six inches on the rubber and suddenly become unhittable.
The crew also revisited the Rays' brass-ticket mess and Yandy Díaz calling his shot before delivering the home run. Big Cat is pro-bat flip, pro-ridiculous celebration, and generally pro-anything that makes a baseball game feel less like a quarterly earnings report. He just wants a home-run trot to contain one stop, not a full Randy Arozarena tour with multiple scheduled layovers.
Brock Purdy, Jayden Daniels, And A Very Bad Down
PFT opened the football portion by handing Brock Purdy the MVP trophy in October and calling San Francisco the best team in football.
PFT CommenterBrock Purdy is the MVP and the 49ers are the NFL's best team
The 49ers are, I think, the best team in football. I think Brock Purdy right now is the league MVP.
The Commanders game was a different kind of masterpiece. Jayden Daniels played an excellent second half, but the fourth-and-two sequence had everything: a pre-snap penalty, a throwaway, Sourdough Sam making an absurd catch, Jayden smiling at the mascot, Fred Warner informing him that it was fourth down, and Dan Quinn apparently discovering the down-and-distance situation in real time.
PFT put the blame on both Daniels and Quinn, then immediately began building the next Washington coaching search. Sean McVay was invited home, Mike Tomlin was floated as the adult in the room, and Dan Quinn was offered two career paths: fire himself or demote himself to defensive coordinator.
PFT CommenterDan Quinn should be fired after the fourth-down disaster
I think Dan Quinn has to go and he's a nice guy.
Big Cat defended the late intentional grounding call, arguing that there was no underneath route and that taking a sack would have burned too much time. PFT, meanwhile, defended Daniels enough to say that his trade value is currently higher than Justin Herbert's.
PFT CommenterJayden Daniels is more valuable than Justin Herbert right now
I would say he's probably more valuable than Justin Herbert right now. Okay, I agreed. Like without a doubt.
Then PFT casually made the kind of statement that would get a person removed from most football conversations: the Jets would win the NFC East. “Without a doubt.” The NFC East has officially become a public resource.
PFT CommenterThe Jets would win the NFC East
The Jets would be—I would take the Jets to win the NFC East. Without a doubt.
Blood Clots, The NBA, And Other Hot Seats
The Jalen Hurts blood-clot story left everyone in the same place: confused, concerned, and absolutely unqualified to explain blood clots. Max correctly noted that it looked like everyone involved was trying to save themselves, while Big Cat admitted that the phrase “blood clot” makes him think of “troops bumba clot.” Medical analysis has never been stronger.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne brought Troy Aikman and Joe Buck's awkward booth energy, Jay-Z booking himself for the Super Bowl halftime show, and PFT declaring war on U2 for repeatedly invading American spaces. Chris Ballard finally got fired in Indianapolis, which Big Cat treated as a long-overdue reset rather than another excuse to blame Andrew Luck's retirement.
Big CatThe Colts needed a complete reset after Chris Ballard's firing
Chris Ballard was there for 10 years, never won an AFC South. You finally just—it's inexcusable. The Andrew Luck retirement is probably what bought Chris Ballard a lot more years. He basically could just keep on saying, 'Well, our plans were screwed up because Andrew Luck retired.'
The NBA is back, although Big Cat's heart remains in football season until at least Christmas. His proposed solution: start the NBA on Christmas Day, play 60 games, and stop asking anyone to care about Game 5 in October.
Big CatThe NBA should start on Christmas Day and play 60 games
The NBA should start on Christmas day. It should be a 60-game schedule. It'd be so much better.
Hank also revealed that he has a lot of money on the Patriots to win the Super Bowl. This is either a bold investment or a cry for help.
HankI bet a lot of money on the Patriots to win the Super Bowl
I bet a lot of money on the Patriots to win the Super Bowl.
Andy Staples And The College Football Apocalypse
Andy Staples arrived to process the greatest college football Saturday in recent memory, a day that included Florida shocking Texas, Arch Manning unraveling, Bryce Underwood getting benched, Auburn beating Georgia, Tennessee handling Alabama, and BYU stuffing Notre Dame. Even Andy's wife, who does not care about football, watched the entire BYU game and referred to Bear Bachmeier and Tiger Campbell as “those Bachmeier cutie pies.” That is how you know the sport had a day.
Texas was the main emergency room. Andy thinks the problems go beyond Arch, though Arch's processing issues are not exactly helping. Sark may be forced to hire an offensive coordinator, which is a tough ask for a coach whose main selling point was calling the offense himself. If Texas loses to Ole Miss, Andy sees a real chance for the season to get ugly fast.
Andy StaplesTexas could unravel if it loses to Ole Miss
If Texas were to lose to Ole Miss—now remember they've still got a pretty tough schedule the rest of the way. They have to go to LSU, they have to go to Texas A&M. This could get pretty ugly.
The SEC is now a knife fight where nearly everyone can still talk themselves into the playoff. Kentucky only needs to keep winning, Tennessee has to survive South Carolina, and Andy believes a 10-2 Kentucky is getting in. Meanwhile, BYU's win gave the Big 12 the signature victory it desperately needed and may have opened the door for two Big 12 teams to make the playoff.
Andy StaplesBYU could make the playoff without winning the Big 12
I don't know that BYU has to win the Big 12 now to make the playoff. If you have a 12-and-0 Texas Tech and they beat BYU in the Big 12 championship game and hand them, let's say, their second loss, they're both getting in.
The interview eventually turned into a referendum on the 24-team playoff. Andy does not think expansion will kill the sport or the regular season, even though PFT and Big Cat are mourning the loss of the old do-or-die Saturday. Nobody wants the new format, except coaches, athletic directors, and television networks, which is probably how you know it is happening.
Sam LaPorta On Tight Ends, Fourth Downs, And Goff's Booboos
Sam LaPorta joined from his bye week, with his outdoor cat Lulu apparently out hunting through the night. The Iowa tight-end factory came up immediately, and LaPorta made the obvious but still very defensible case that Iowa is the best recent pipeline at the position.
Iowa is the best recent tight-end factory
I think we have to be. I think as of recent, definitely going back to the early 2000s with Kirk Ferentz and starting with Dallas Clark, Moeaki, Brandon Myers. It's just going down the list.
LaPorta also explained what it is like going from Iowa's punt-to-win ecosystem to Dan Campbell's Detroit. Campbell has told the Lions they have four downs everywhere on the field, including fourth-and-eight from their own 20. LaPorta's reaction to that rookie-year culture shock was essentially, “Oh shit, buckle up.”
The best teammate scouting report came on Jared Goff. On Sundays, Goff gets demolished by 350-pound defensive tackles, pops up, and never asks the officials for anything. At the facility, he is getting his “booboos” treated and making sure everyone knows about the one pressure that landed him on his elbow.
There was also Jahmyr Gibbs moving at a speed that makes LaPorta's top speed look like a leisurely jog, Ben Johnson's genius stumble-bumble play, and the annual reminder that Matt Eberflus not calling a timeout on Thanksgiving was so bad it got him fired the next day. LaPorta is still waiting on a Lions extension, but he has already submitted his name for Italy's 2028 Olympic flag-football team. The Flacco-to-LaPorta connection could be generational.
FAQs, Meatballs, And The Pork Store
The FAQ portion covered Bo Nix, whether Max is a beef-pork meatball or a vegan meatball, why split-screen television is basically a broken TV with a giant bezel, and the interviews PMT has accidentally forgotten to publish. Snooki remains the white whale, and the dream of pairing her with Stanford Steve for March Madness is very much alive.
The sleep question led to the most accurate description of PMT's pre-show routine: sitting outside the studio, talking nonsense, deciding to tape, not moving, getting waters, requesting energy drinks, and generally treating the office like the Sopranos outside the pork store. That is not wasted time. That is the job.
Then came the numbers, the birthday shoutouts, and one final reminder that this show can spend nearly three hours covering a World Series, a coaching crisis, a college football apocalypse, and a cat named Lulu without ever finding a normal ending. The Jets winning the NFC East remains the least normal part.
