Andrew Santino

Disney adults without kids should be sent to jail

I just think there should be two lines at Disney. One for people with kids and one for people without. And the people with kids get to go in the park and the people without get to go to jail, you have to go to jail. There should be a line right into a jail cell.

I am done with acting in Hollywood movies and will focus only on stand-up and podcasting

I'm out dude. I have no business in the business. I'm out. Stand up and podcasting. I'm 42 in a month and I've had a great, I love doing Dave... but the business has changed and I have more fun doing stand-up and podcasting by far than I ever did doing that other stuff.

Disney adults are weird and scary

I live in California. I live in Southern California. When I see all these people that have like yearly passes and I'm like, you guys have kids? And they're like, no. And I'm like, okay. I don't think we can talk anymore... It scares me.

Hollywood won't cast a ginger as a lead actor

I just think they don't, they're never gonna make a, a ginger a lead... something about orange men, they just, it's hard to lead a movie... if Bill Burr can't do it, I don't think I've got a shot.

Curb Your Enthusiasm is better than Seinfeld because it is the darker, more realistic version of what Seinfeld was meant to be.

I'm a much bigger fan of [Larry David] than Seinfeld. I think his line of what Seinfeld was, was, that's why Curb was so great. It was like the version of Seinfeld that I wanted more was that, more so than the other thing that Jerry [Seinfeld] did. Larry's Seinfeld is what Curb is and that's what I always wanted it to be.

Doing podcasts over Zoom is whack and doesn't work; you need to be in the same room together.

You have to physically make everyone agree on being in the same place because the Zoom shit whack. It's whack. It doesn't work. You need to be together. So as long as me and [Bobby Lee] are gonna be doing our show, we'll be in LA.

Denver is one of the best comedy towns in the United States

Denver's a very liberal city. Right. That's, most people know it as a liberal, but Colorado isn't all liberal. Yeah. There's a lot of conservative out there. It's kind of a purple place... It's unbelievable. It's one of the best comedy towns in the country in my opinion.

Justin Fields is a phenomenal talent but his running style is scary for injuries

I love the kid. I think he's fucking phenomenal. I think he's a great talent. I do, I do definitely get scared when he does run. Because in the same way that like Derek Rose comparison... at some point he's gonna get clobbered. Right. So he will get clobbered at some point he's gonna get hit.

Patrick Mahomes drank roughly 23 Coors Lights during two comedy shows

Maybe 13 the first show... Maybe 10 the second show... the server comes up to me and she's like, 'we have someone that's gonna go have to get more Coors Light because Mr. Mahomes says, finish all the Coors Light.'