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Loss
HankHank

The Bad Bunny halftime show was so bad it ruined my interest in international football forever.

That halftime performance was so bad. I might have changed my stance on international football forever... It was horrible. I was watching it and I was like, this is, who is this for? This is America. This is a fucking Super Bowl.

Incorrecto. Bad Bunny es un artista legendario y Hank es un pendejo sin cultura que no sabe lo que es buena música.

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Win
Feb 9, 2026
#8679
Big CatBig Cat

Sam Darnold's performance in the NFC Championship game was his defining moment as a quarterback.

The way he [Sam Darnold] won the NFC championship game cannot be forgotten because that was probably the Super Bowl... that was his defining win as a quarterback in terms of how he played. He played a perfect game.

Sam Darnold won Super Bowl 60 in this fictional timeline, and his NFC championship win is treated as the pivotal moment for his legacy.
Win
Feb 9, 2026
#8681
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The valuation of the Seahawks franchise will skyrocket now that they have won a Super Bowl.

I'm very happy for the current ownership group who will now get to put up for sale a Super Bowl champion team. Price of the bag just went up for the Seahawks. Big time.

Seahawks are Super Bowl champions in this timeline. The sale price would naturally increase.
Loss
Feb 9, 2026·Hank Recap
#8683
HankHank

The Patriots would have won Super Bowl 60 if the Cooper Kupp bobble had been challenged and overturned.

I don't know why they didn't challenge that in real time. That was like, that's a bobble. And then it was clearly was a bobble. If he didn't, if they didn't, if they reviewed it and it gets overturned, they didn't even get a field goal... I think we win. [Sliding doors effect].

The Patriots lost 29-13; it is highly unlikely one overturned catch in the first half changes a three-possession game.

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Void
HankHank

Tom Brady helping Mike Macdonald prepare for the Patriots would be a huge slap in the face to the New England region.

That would be egregious if that was true. I don't believe it is true. But if it were, that would be unforgivable. Not unforgivable. That would be a, a blemish, a big blemish. Big time. It'd be a slap in the face of the whole region.

Subjective opinion on how a hypothetical rumor would be perceived.
Void
HankHank

Jayson Tatum is playing cute by claiming he found out about the Jaylen Brown trade on social media.

I'm sure he knew that he was on the trading block and he didn't know specifically when he got traded and he found out just like everyone else... all Brad Stevens, Jaylen Brown, they talked about how, you know, he was gonna be on the trading block and they were gonna try and move him. So I'm sure Jayson Tatum was also aware of that. But in terms of, he's probably playing a little, a little cutesy there where like no one specifically told him, 'Hey, this is the trade.' He found out like everyone else. But I'm sure he was not surprised and fully aware what the plan was.

Subjective interpretation of Tatum's PR framing.
Open
HankHank

The Celtics have another major move coming following the Jaylen Brown trade

There's something going on here. I I said it to Max on the boat yesterday. I was like, Jalen Brown was getting traded. I could, I could just feel it. I could feel it coming... I feel like the Paul George thing is, there's the, like, they might be doing another trade. There's another move coming.

The trade just happened in the fictional 2026 timeline provided; further moves are pending.