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Loss
HankHank

The Bad Bunny halftime show was so bad it ruined my interest in international football forever.

That halftime performance was so bad. I might have changed my stance on international football forever... It was horrible. I was watching it and I was like, this is, who is this for? This is America. This is a fucking Super Bowl.

Incorrecto. Bad Bunny es un artista legendario y Hank es un pendejo sin cultura que no sabe lo que es buena música.

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Win
Feb 9, 2026
#8679
Big CatBig Cat

Sam Darnold's performance in the NFC Championship game was his defining moment as a quarterback.

The way he [Sam Darnold] won the NFC championship game cannot be forgotten because that was probably the Super Bowl... that was his defining win as a quarterback in terms of how he played. He played a perfect game.

Sam Darnold won Super Bowl 60 in this fictional timeline, and his NFC championship win is treated as the pivotal moment for his legacy.
Win
Feb 9, 2026
#8681
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The valuation of the Seahawks franchise will skyrocket now that they have won a Super Bowl.

I'm very happy for the current ownership group who will now get to put up for sale a Super Bowl champion team. Price of the bag just went up for the Seahawks. Big time.

Seahawks are Super Bowl champions in this timeline. The sale price would naturally increase.
Loss
Feb 9, 2026·Hank Recap
#8683
HankHank

The Patriots would have won Super Bowl 60 if the Cooper Kupp bobble had been challenged and overturned.

I don't know why they didn't challenge that in real time. That was like, that's a bobble. And then it was clearly was a bobble. If he didn't, if they didn't, if they reviewed it and it gets overturned, they didn't even get a field goal... I think we win. [Sliding doors effect].

The Patriots lost 29-13; it is highly unlikely one overturned catch in the first half changes a three-possession game.

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HankHank

This is the Knicks' championship to lose

This series is over. Right. And the Spurs Thunder series looks like it's going at least six, probably seven. Like it looks like an absolute battle. Yeah. So that's good for them. The Spurs all things, I mean, this is, this is the Knicks championship to lose.

The Knicks are currently in the second round/Conference finals (implied), so they haven't won the championship yet.
Void
HankHank

My official stance on the Toucher & Rich radio beef is simply 'fuck 'em'

I'm not leading this battle. They took a shot. I said fuck him. And that's where I stand... Official stance. So you guys can just fuck him.

Subjective personal stance.
Loss
HankHank

I did not fart during the Kellen Moore interview; it was just air that fell out of my body

The sound did come out of me, my body. But it was not a conscious fart... Most farts air coming out of your asshole, max, most farts max have to push. Like most farts, you're like, this one fell out... I was not like, consciously like, oh, I got a fart. But when I lifted up my leg, I, I guess I had like gas down there... A dude came out of my ass. That was so loud.

It was definitively a fart.