PMT DB
PMT DB
The Brewers looked like they had the World Series tucked neatly into the carry-on bag, then the Rays went and extended the series anyway. Big Cat was ready to declare Milwaukee champions after the terrifying fifth inning in Game 3, but Tampa Bay survived Game 4 and bought everybody one more night of baseball. PFT, who briefly became a Rays fan for purely temporary and totally respectable reasons, admitted that he is going to miss this matchup when it ends.
PFT CommenterThe Rays are playing an exciting brand of baseball
It's a very, very exciting brand of baseball. And I'm gonna miss it when it's over. So I did not wanna sweep, so thank you.
The conversation eventually turned to the looming baseball labor apocalypse, where Big Cat planted both feet firmly in the “nothing ever happens” camp. There will be no lockout, everyone will make a lot of money, and the owners and players will absolutely figure it out. This is the same man who is now threatening baseball executives with a miniature Cubs bat, so negotiations should be straightforward.
Ed Dodds also made another appearance in the PMT cinematic universe, turning the Colts’ Quentin Nelson trade into a referendum on whether anyone can ever truly fleece Ed Dodds. Big Cat’s answer was no. The Seahawks may have acquired the player, but Ed Dodds acquired the moral victory, two draft picks, and another chapter in the Dodds Masterclass industrial complex.
The Eagles Are Buried
Max was in Philadelphia for the Eagles-Cowboys game and arrived with optimism. He left with the emotional posture of a man who had watched his defense get pushed around by an offense that is not supposed to be scary. Saquon Barkley was hurt and kept trying to re-enter the game, while the Eagles’ defensive stars mostly appeared to be observing a football game from the field.
MaxThe Eagles' defense gave up before the season ended
They gave up on the season before that game started last night, and they had zero interest of playing football.
Max called the defense a group of children with no leader, and PFT immediately tried to ban the upcoming Commanders-Eagles Sunday night game from the television schedule. Big Cat compared it to winning a class-action lawsuit against the NFL, because the league had every opportunity to give America something better and still chose NFC East content.
The Cowboys did win, but PFT refused to let one primetime victory become a national revival. Dallas might threaten the playoffs because the division is a haunted house, but anyone turning this into a Super Bowl prediction needs to be separated from the internet.
PFT CommenterThe Cowboys are a bad football team
The Cowboys are a bad football team. And I can't wait for people to start to say like, this is when, look at the schedule. Dallas is gonna put some wins together.
PFT then unveiled a tinfoil theory about the sudden decline of several dominant teams: maybe the performance-enhancing-drug supply chain has gotten worse. The Eagles, Ravens, Panthers, Dodgers, and other former powers were presented as circumstantial evidence. Max thought it was stupid. Hank did not understand the supply chain. Big Cat eventually decided he was “on your side,” which is how every dangerous PMT theory gets its second life.
PFT CommenterPerformance-enhancing drug shortages may explain dominant teams falling off
There started to be severe, severe supply chain issues when it came to performance enhancing drugs and peptide shipments coming to the United States. I just think it's interesting.
Hot Seat: Michael Bidwill
Hank put the WNBA on the Hot Seat for scheduling a potential Finals game at 12:30 in the afternoon instead of finding a smaller venue and playing at a normal time. PFT’s counterproposal was to bet the under because the players might still be waking up. A championship game beginning at breakfast is certainly one way to make sure nobody has to worry about an excessive trophy ceremony afterward.
Then Big Cat found his true calling: prosecuting Michael Bidwill. The Cardinals owner was accused of cutting off Flagstaff training camp, turning fan-friendly seating into expensive corporate casitas, failing NFLPA report cards, withholding bonuses, and, most offensively, deducting FedEx charges from a player’s signing check. Big Cat’s research had the energy of a man who had discovered a new supervillain and planned to spend the afternoon building a case file.
Big CatMichael Bidwill is an owner who does not care about winning
This guy doesn't want to own an NFL team. He doesn't want to spend the money to own an NFL team. He wants to own an NFL team, cheap out on everything and screw over the fans.
The historical portion only made it worse. The Cardinals’ 1925 championship involved a suspended Pottsville team, territorial-rights drama, and an original Cardinals owner who refused to accept the title because it was unfair. The Bidwills later accepted it anyway. Big Cat’s proposed solution was simple.
Big CatThe Cardinals should give back their 1925 championship
Give back that 1925 trophy.
Booger’s College Football Board
Booger McFarland arrived with one demand: somebody finally send him the PMT book. Once that housekeeping was handled, he got into the real business of the day, ranking the chaos of college football.
In the Big 12, Booger still trusts BYU most, brushing aside the loss at UCF as a 2,000-mile trip into a humid Orlando hornet’s nest. Texas Tech, meanwhile, is not last year’s team, and apparently the Red Raiders cannot simply replace an entire defense by having Cody Campbell shop around the country.
Booger McFarlandBYU will be the best team in the Big 12
When it's all said and done, I think you're gonna wind up BYU is gonna be the best team in the Big 12.
The Big Ten was even less settled. Booger leaned Indiana because Curt Cignetti knows exactly who his team is, while giving UCLA credit for Bob Chesney’s culture and Northwestern credit for running into the A-gap approximately every time Chip Kelly gets bored. He also delivered the kind of Michigan take that can get a person banned from certain PMT group chats: Tommy Carr looks better at quarterback than Bryce Underwood right now.
Oregon earned the biggest-disappointment label, while Georgia remained Booger’s pick as the SEC’s best team despite the Auburn loss. November 7 is shaping up as a full college football emergency, with Georgia-Ole Miss, LSU-Alabama, Texas-LSU looming, and every two-loss team trying to avoid becoming the next casualty of SEC cannibalism.
Booger McFarlandGeorgia is the best team in the SEC
I think the best team in the SEC right now, if you asked me to pick one, I'd say Georgia.
Miami got the ACC crown, though Booger added the one caveat that could haunt every playoff conversation: the Hurricanes have not really been tested yet. They have talent everywhere, Malachi Toney is a “true dog,” and Mark Fletcher runs like he has somewhere important to be. But beating up on everybody is different from surviving a playoff heavyweight.
Booger McFarlandMiami is the best team in the ACC
Miami is the best team in the ACC. I think at their best, they have more talent than anybody.
The NFL Is Still A Mess
Booger’s Super Bowl board had Buffalo and Cincinnati near the top of the AFC, with Denver and Jacksonville lurking. Kansas City received the dreaded asterisk because Patrick Mahomes cannot throw the ball to “nobody,” even if Travis Kelce is still doing Travis Kelce things.
PFT CommenterThe Chiefs cannot go far without more offensive weapons
If the offense exists like this for the rest of the season, then no, I don't think they're gonna win. It's not a knock against Mahomes or anything about where his career's at right now. He literally doesn't have any weapons. And the offensive line is a big question.
The NFC conversation eventually landed on Seattle, San Francisco, and Chicago. Booger liked the Bears enough to hang his hat on them, but asked the question that has followed Chicago all season: can Dennis Allen’s defense keep teams under 24 every week? The Seahawks-Bears game in Seattle was framed as the real measuring stick, because Seattle has made enough quarterbacks look terrible to qualify as a national exam.
Houston’s defensive drop-off got a more interesting diagnosis. Booger thinks the Texans started believing the press clippings before they had earned the historic-defense comparisons. The difference is not ten huge failures every game, but a few missed details that turn winning plays into losses.
And then there was Tampa Bay, somehow still alive in the NFC South. If the Buccaneers beat Atlanta, Booger thinks the division suddenly becomes a three-win traffic jam. Big Cat is buying the stock, which means the Bucs are either about to become a real story or disappear immediately after Sunday.
The show closed with listener football takes, a deeply confusing 14-team college football bracket that somehow made Big Cat reconsider everything, and the ongoing quest to guess the machine’s number. Shane finally got it, Memes still gets credit for not getting it, and PMT once again proved that the simplest possible ending is to yell “nice” and move on.
Booger says Big Cat should walk backward uphill with ankle weights. The Super Bowl torso reveal is now officially in danger of becoming a full offseason documentary.
