Takes

Kayshon Boutte will score a 40+ yard receiving touchdown in Super Bowl 60

Khaw booty [Kayshon Boutte] to score a 40 plus yard receiving touchdown that's plus 1200.

Scotty Barnes will have more points than Rashid Shaheed has receiving yards

Scotty Barnes will have more points than Rashid Shaheed has receiving yards.

Hunter Henry will not score a touchdown in the Super Bowl

The No Henry Lock of the week. Hunter Henry to not score a touchdown minus three 40... I call it no Henry.

Jaxon Smith-Njigba will have more receptions than Ohio State made threes vs Michigan

JSN [Jaxon Smith-Njigba] more receptions than Ohio State made threes against Michigan earlier in the day. I looked it up. Ohio state's averaging about seven and a half threes a game... Michigan has a really good three point defense.

The Patriots have the advantage over the Broncos in offense, defense, and coaching

I feel good about, I feel like we have an advantage offensively, defensively coaching only thing is the air.

Jared Stidham might have a vestigial tail that acts as a biological gyroscope for his balance

J Stidham might have a tail. An actual tail. ... Everybody was thinking that J Stidham might have a tail. ... if you have a tail, it helps you balance. It acts like a stabilizer. When you're twisting, when you're throwing, it's a biological gyroscope.

The Seahawks are primed to win the Super Bowl because they eliminated the 49ers

Seven of the last eight teams to eliminate the 49ers have gone on to win the Super Bowl. That's kind of crazy. ... The Seahawks are primed to win the Super Bowl 'cause they have eliminated the 49ers.

The NFL Divisional Round is Bo Nix's time to have a defining rookie moment.

Is it Bo Nix's time. We've had all three of these guys have their splash moments. Is it Bo Nix's time to say, Hey, you forgot about Bo Nix... If we're gonna have this be the 2024 draft, be like an all time QB draft. It's bo Nicks' time.

Drake May is the worst quarterback in the NFL when facing third-and-six.

Drake May is the worst quarterback in the NFL on third and sixth. And it's not close Since, since he got, where did you get this? Since he got into the league... He's 36th in the NFL... five for 18. 27%. The league average, I believe is 40.

Matt Stafford is unreliable when protecting a lead in the second half.

Matt Stafford, when he has a lead at halftime, his record against the spread in the second half. The second half spread 35% of the time, he covers only 35%. Pretty bad.

The Bears have a significant special teams advantage over the Rams in the Divisional Round.

I've meant to say that the one place that the Bears have a significant advantage is special teams. The, the Rams have been kind of like, they got a punt blocked. The kicker's been bad. The Bears, Cairo. Santos has been good.

The Rams are the favorites to win the NFC

I don't know what the odds are right now, but [the Rams] feel to me like they might be, in my mind, the favorite to win the NFC.

Caleb Williams is a 'big game' quarterback

The thing I'm actually least worried about is I, I think Caleb Williams is like a big game guy. Like, I think he's gonna be ready for this game... I think he's big game Caleb.

The Jaguars are better than the Bills at everything except for having Josh Allen

The Jaguars are better at everything, but they don't have Josh Allen and Josh Allen. You're totally right. When it gets to the playoffs, it's like stuff doesn't hurt anymore... He's liable to go nuclear.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems... This guy went to the practice field with a gause meter. It read 8.5 plus milligauss.

The Rams are the overall favorite to win the NFC

I also don't think it's that hot of a take to say that the Rams could, I don't know what the odds are right now, but they feel to me like they might be, in my mind, the favorite to win the NFC.

The Rams, Eagles, and Seahawks are the only three dangerous teams in the NFC

I rank them order, it would be Rams, Eagles, Seahawks. ... If you want gun to my head right now, I think there's three teams in the NFC.

Josh Allen is currently the best playoff quarterback in the AFC

Josh Allen, who is the best. I think he's the best playoff quarterback in the AFC right now. As much as people like to say that Josh Allen is a choke artist because the Bills haven't won a Super Bowl, Josh Allen is awesome in the playoffs. He is incredible. And the losses that he's had, he's been the best quarterback on the field.

The Eagles will easily beat the 49ers in their Wild Card matchup

I'm not just trying to gas you up, Max. I think the Eagles are gonna win this game easily. ... One of my favorite themes that happens every January when the Eagles are in the playoffs is we just get stories of local bars denying service to opposing fans.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

The 49ers are statistically the most injured team in the NFL over the past decade since moving to Levi's stadium... Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts. ... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems. ... This guy is saying that the Niners are just getting bombarded with electric waves all day, which is fucking up their bodies.

Tyler Shuck is the hands-down NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year

Could you imagine this guy not winning rookie of the year? No. Oh, he is a rookie that your hands down easily. Hands down.

Drake Maye is going to win the NFL MVP

Congratulations. It, it feels like Drake Maye's gonna win the MVP. It does. It, it definitely feels that way. Yeah. Matthew Stafford's Monday Night Performance kind of cemented it.

The winner of Seahawks-Niners will be the favorite to win the Super Bowl

This is such a massive game. 'cause it does feel like the winner of this game is going to have, they, they, they will be the favorite to go to the Super Bowl from the NFC. That's a fair statement. Right? I think so. They only have to play two games. They get to play at home.

The Bears vs. Packers Week 16 game is a must-win for Chicago to avoid playoff uncertainty

This one you gotta win because the Bears are most likely gonna make the playoffs if they lose this game. Then it starts to get, Hey, what's going on here? You start looking at the calculations and the 49ers are a game that's coming up next week and then the Lions in week 18. You don't want to get to a spot where the Lions Week 18 becomes a win and get in.

The Cleveland Browns will cover the 10-point spread against the Buffalo Bills

I do like the bills, but I think the Browns might cover... I like the Browns at the very least in the first half of this game. I like 'em to cover 10 points.

The Kansas City Chiefs should just quit for the rest of the season since they are already eliminated

There's never been a team that like deserves to quit more than the Chiefs. They've been playing so much football for the last five years... Patrick Mahomes just tore his ACL. If you're a Chiefs player, listen to this right now. Just fucking quit.

The 'torch' has been passed to Drake May and it cannot be passed back to Josh Allen

The torch has been passed and that's it. It's over... Drake may has the torch and then it will go until we pass it to someone else... It can't go back.

Mike Vrabel should be Coach of the Year

I'm super impressed with the Patriots this year. I think that the Patriots, Mike Vrabel is a great coach. He should be coach of the year.

I bet the Chiefs beat the Chargers because it is a massive trap spot for the public

I love the Chiefs in this game and I am saying that from a point of, I'm not someone who's been chasing the Chiefs every single week... This feels like a huge trap. Everyone watched the Chargers win on Monday night. Everyone watched the Chiefs lose on Sunday night. Now the Chargers are getting five and a half points... I think Mahomes is going to maybe do the dink and dunk down the field. I like the Chiefs in this game.

Jalen Hurts is Russell Wilson 2.0 (and that is a good thing)

I said Jalen Hurts is Russell Wilson 2.0... I said Russell Wilson was a very good quarterback. I think Jalen Hurts is a very good quarterback. They, they're not the top three guys in the league, but they're somewhere after that where if their team is good around 'em, they're winning a Super Bowl.

The Seahawks are going to 'kill' and 'fuck up' Philip Rivers in his return

But the Seahawks are probably gonna fuck him up probably... This is a I'm worried about him getting hit. That's the problem... I think the Seahawks are gonna maybe kill him. Seahawks are really fucking good.

The Bengals can make the playoffs if they beat the Bills

I know that I've made the joke that everyone says don't let the Bengals into the playoffs. We won't. There is a chance that Bengals can make the playoffs because if they can win this game [against the Bills], the rest of their schedule is easy.

Joe Burrow has started eight games in the last year and is 8-0 as a starter

In the last 12 months, Joe Burrow has started... He is eight and oh as a starter in the last calendar year. Since this date, December 2nd, the last 367 days.

Sam Darnold is 10-0 straight up in his career as a favorite of six points or more

Sam Darnold has been a favorite of six points or more 10 times as a starter in the NFL. He's 10 and oh straight up, eight and two against the spread in those games.

The current Seahawks defense is playing better than the Legion of Boom did in any seven-game stretch

The Seahawks defense in terms of... a seven-game stretch, they have actually played better in a seven-game stretch this year than the best seven-game stretch of the Legion of Boom.

I would rather see Jayden Daniels play and risk injury than sit him for the rest of the season

Big picture, if he gets hurt, I'm gonna be like, why the fuck was Jayden Daniels playing? Counterpoint: Good football players want to play football when they're healthy. I would really like to see Jayden Daniels play this weekend. I don't care. I like watching him play football.

Matthew Stafford's 31 career pick-sixes is actually a complimentary stat

Matthew Stafford has 31 [pick-sixes]. Brett Favre has 32. And you're like, 'Ooh, that's a bad stat.' And then you realize... that means you're very, very good because you played long enough that it didn't actually matter. It's actually kind of a compliment that the rest of your game is so good that 31 pick-sixes are completely irrelevant.

Week 14 is an elimination game for the Chiefs

The Chiefs season kind of comes down to three-game schedule at home... If they lose this game [against the Texans], I think it's gonna be very hard for them to make the playoffs. This is an elimination game pretty much for the Chiefs today.

Colts -4.5 vs. Texans is a suspiciously low line that favors the Colts

I'm gonna take the Colts minus four and a half. I feel like the, that that's, that's a field goal line. Why is it four and a half? They know something.

I bet the Cowboys to cover +3 against the Eagles

I'm gonna take the Cowboys plus three... I think the Cowboys are gonna cover the spread. The Eagles can win the game.

The Bears vs. Bengals game is a 'must look good' game for the Chicago offense

This is a must look good on offense game. The Bears offense has not, has been up and down this year... If you can't light up the Bengals defense, then I'm gonna start having some doubts creep in.

The Patriots will blow out the Falcons

I'm going blowout... I'll do nine and a half... Gillette's gonna be rocking... I think it's gonna be a blowout.

The Colts are the best team in football right now

The Colts who are the best team in football... Their offense is absolutely electric. They are like, they're just well-rounded all the way through.

Shane Steichen is the frontrunner for NFL Coach of the Year

Shane Steichen feels like maybe Coach of the Year. Right? And I don't really like, the Colts are just really, really good.

The Dolphins are running out the clock on Mike McDaniel and Tua Tagovailoa

It just seems like the Dolphins are running out the clock here on the season on Mike McDaniel on Tua... the Picks are happening whether you can see it or not. Maybe just try to do some blind plays.

Tua Tagovailoa has 'low eyes' which causes him to miss linebackers

I feel like this is why in the draft you measure quarterbacks up to the eyeballs. You don't measure 'em to the top of the head. Tua's got a lot of wasted space in the forehead. Makes him a little bit taller on paper than he really is. He's got low eyes.

The Jets are experiencing 'below rock bottom' dysfunction

This is just total dysfunction. This is the rock bottom we were talking about under the rock bottom. It's below the rock bottom. And now it's only up from here. Hopefully.

Drake Maye is a 'total package' and a 'cover two killer'

He's efficient. Accurate. Total package... Cover two killer. [I've] been watching a lot of film. Knows cover two.

The Ravens removing their ping pong tables means they will beat the Bears

The Ravens removed their ping pong tables... Harbaugh said that the vets did it. I have a hard and fast rule when a team removes a ping pong table from, I mean, that, that means they're ready to win... I'm going into this game thinking the Ravens might kill the Bears.

Boneless wings are just big nuggets trying to be cool

Wings are not boneless. Wings have bones in them, but, this is it's big nugget that's trying to make themselves seem like they're as cool as chicken wings. You'll never be as cool as chicken wings. It's the mocktail of chicken.