PMT DB
PMT DB
Danny Kanell on CFP Chaos, the War on Football, and Ed Orgeron
Big Cat and PFT are back from a four-day Thanksgiving bender of eating 10,000 calories and watching 15 hours of football a day. The guys spent the holiday contemplating the existential nature of existence and why their eyes hurt so much from staring at three screens simultaneously. While the holiday break was restful for some, Big Cat is still mourning the state of his Bears after Matt Barkley's debut.
Big CatMatt Barkley is a terrible quarterback
Let's face it folks, Matt Charles Barkley, the round mound of intentional ground, is terrible. Just terrible. Terrible, terrible. Terrible, terrible, terrible.
The landscape of the league is starting to settle, and it’s looking increasingly like we’re headed for a collision course between the usual suspects, even if one of those suspects feels a bit fraudulent.
Big CatThe Dallas Cowboys are the best team that sucks in the NFL
Dallas is still maybe the best team in the NFL, which is insane. They're the best team that sucks. In the NFL. They're the suckiest best teams, too.
PFT CommenterThe Super Bowl will feature some combination of the Patriots, Cowboys, or Seahawks
And it sucks to say this, but it's going to be the Patriots and the Cowboys or the Seahawks. Slash Seahawks, yeah. So some combination of that, that's where we're going to be in Houston.
Football Guy of the Week: Coach O
The biggest news of the weekend was LSU finally removing the interim tag from Ed Orgeron. Big Cat and PFT celebrated the move as a win for Football Guys everywhere, specifically citing the legendary binder Coach O brought into the meeting that supposedly blew the AD away. PFT is currently offering a $2,000 bounty for anyone who can leak the contents of that binder, which likely just consists of "Tell the Truth Monday" and "Competition Tuesday" written in crayon over 400 pages.
Big CatEd Orgeron is officially the greatest interim coach of all time
Is he officially the greatest interim coach of all time? His last head coaching stint at Ole Miss, where he went 10-25... he's won more games as an interim coach than a head coach.
Danny Kanell Joins the Show
ESPN’s own Danny Kanell joined the show to discuss why he insists on wearing a black turtleneck on air and whether he considers himself a "provocateur." The guys grilled him on the College Football Playoff, where Danny is leaning into the chaos. He isn't convinced that the committee is as high on the Buckeyes as everyone else thinks.
Danny KanellOhio State is not a lock for the College Football Playoff if Penn State wins the Big Ten
If Penn State beats Wisconsin... I think you're looking at either two Big Ten teams in or you're looking at Penn State in and Ohio State out. Now, that's very, like, no one agrees with me on this... Kirk Herbstreit, those guys are saying, no, they're saying, you know, Ohio State's a lock... And I don't know how they can comfortably say that.
While the committee focuses on resumes, Big Cat and PFT are more about the gut feeling. Danny leaned into the eye test himself, making the case for a certain Pac-12 team that started slow but is finishing like a freight train.
Danny KanellBased on the eye test, USC is one of the four best teams in the country
If you just look at teams, eye test, who's playing as good as anybody, USC is in the top four. And they're all like, what about September? It matters. But what about any losses?
The conversation shifted to the "War on Football," where Danny—who has survived enough concussions to consider them a form of time travel—defended the sport’s longevity. He even dropped a stat that had PFT calling for a fact-check from his numbers guy.
Danny KanellThe average lifespan of an NFL player is longer than an average American
The average lifespan of an NFL player is longer than an average American. No, even an average American. Like, it's longer. They live longer, healthier lives than an average American. CTE or not.
Before letting him go, the guys asked Danny to look into the future of the coaching carousel. With Tom Herman heading to Austin and Coach O staying in Baton Rouge, Danny thinks the Longhorns have the clearer path to a trophy.
Danny KanellTom Herman will win a conference championship before Ed Orgeron
Who wins a conference championship first? Tom Herman? Coach O? Oh, I think Tom Herman. Because Coach O is – I need to see who he's going to bring in to run his offense... But the road that Tom Herman has to take is going to be so much easier in the Big 12.
PR 101 and Stay Woke
In a special holiday edition of People Forget That, PFT reminded the audience that the yellow line on your television is a lie. It’s a digital illusion that has no bearing on reality, yet fans and apparently refs still treat it like the Gospel.
PFT CommenterThe yellow first down line on TV is not an official line
People forget that the yellow line on the field isn't official. So people actually forgot that this weekend in the Ohio State-Michigan game. What? Great game by the refs forgot it as a matter of fact so they just said oh it looks like across the yellow line first down first down
Big Cat used the segment to launch a formal attack on the CBS executive suite. He was legitimately furious that the Lions-Vikings game didn't feature the traditional holiday graphics, while Fox was out here hitting us with a leaf-and-gourd bukkake on every score.
Big CatFox has a much better Thanksgiving broadcast than CBS because they use holiday graphics
CBS cheated us on that. I don't know if you saw it. But it came back. They didn't have it, and then Fox was like a bukkake of leaves on my face. Leaves and gourds just dripping... I actually got mad on Thanksgiving Day when I turned on the Lions game and it was just a regular scoreboard. How the fuck am I supposed to know it's a holiday if it's a regular scoreboard?
Finally, the guys took a look at the upcoming conference championships. While most people are looking at the x's and o's, Big Cat is looking at the shadows. He’s calling his woke shot for the Big Ten title game, suspecting that the fix is already in to ensure the committee gets the matchup they want.
Big CatThe 2016 Big Ten Championship game is rigged for Wisconsin to win
The Big Ten titles game is going to be rigged in favor of Wisconsin this time. Because last time, the 59-0 Ohio State. That was rigged. Wisconsin. Gary Anderson was fired recently. Left right away. It all makes sense.
If you see a suspicious amount of falling leaves on your TV this December, just know that Fox worked hard to ship those in from L.A.
