Matt Barkley is a terrible quarterback

Let's face it folks, Matt Charles Barkley, the round mound of intentional ground, is terrible. Just terrible. Terrible, terrible. Terrible, terrible, terrible.

The Dallas Cowboys are the best team that sucks in the NFL

Dallas is still maybe the best team in the NFL, which is insane. They're the best team that sucks. In the NFL. They're the suckiest best teams, too.

The Super Bowl will feature some combination of the Patriots, Cowboys, or Seahawks

And it sucks to say this, but it's going to be the Patriots and the Cowboys or the Seahawks. Slash Seahawks, yeah. So some combination of that, that's where we're going to be in Houston.

Getting excited for the NFL schedule release is for pussies

I can't get it up for the schedule release because it's—if you explained what the schedule release was to Vince Lombardi, he'd call you a pussy and spit in your face.

The NFL should release one game schedule per day for the entire off-season

The NFL, they should do, they should draw it out even longer. It should be one game that Roger Goodell releases per day for the entire off-season. And then at the end of it, he's like, okay, let's play some ball.

The Preakness Stakes should move its date to three weeks before the Kentucky Derby

Why doesn't the Preakness just say, screw it to the Kentucky Derby and schedule their main race for like three weeks before the Kentucky Derby? You wanna play hardball? Yeah, you could play hardball. I feel like if you, if your horse wins the Preakness, if it was scheduled for before the Derby, you're not skipping the derby. No, you gotta run in the derby.