PMT DB
PMT DB
Landon Donovan on US Soccer, the Olympics, and Tim Tebow Watch
America officially decided to let the rest of the world know that daddy’s home this week in Rio. Big Cat and PFT are riding the Olympic high after Michael Phelps and Katie Ledecky spent the night collecting gold like they were hoarding supplies for the apocalypse. Between Phelps breaking the souls of guys like Chad Le Clos and the US women's gymnastics team being so good they could have Dougie’d their way to gold, it was a banner night for the Red, White, and Blue.
PFT was particularly moved by the sight of American athletes weeping on the podium, though he has some very specific criteria for when it is socially acceptable for a grown man to let the waterworks flow.
PFT CommenterA man should only cry after losing his virginity or winning an Olympic medal
I always love it when our Olympians have a good cry... I would say that and maybe after you lose your virginity is the only acceptable time where a man can cry.
The conversation naturally drifted toward the creepiness factor of women's gymnastics, specifically the "enthusiasts" in the front row. Big Cat pointed out that if you are a grown man with no kids and no connection to the sport, but you're sitting front row in a tucked-in T-shirt with a BlackBerry holster, you’re basically a walking red flag.
Big CatAny adult male with no wife or kids who is a 'gymnastics enthusiast' is a 'pre-crime' suspect
I feel like there's just always like a few creepy dudes hanging around the gymnast. If you're a gymnastics enthusiast and that's where the line stops, like you have no personal connection to the sport, you just really like it. Maybe just watch on TV. No wife, no kids. But you do love your women's gymnastics. That's what we call a little pre-crime.
Landon Donovan Joins the Program
US soccer legend Landon Donovan stopped by to talk about the state of the beautiful game and his new campaign with Captain Morgan to lower the presidential age limit. While the US Men’s team didn't make it to Rio, Landon remains remarkably optimistic about the future of the program and the job security of Jurgen Klinsmann.
Landon DonovanThe U.S. will win a World Cup in the next 10 years
First question for you, Landon, will the U.S. win a World Cup in the next 10 years? [Landon]: Yes.
Big Cat, ever the businessman, revealed that he and Landon are now technically colleagues in the world of European football ownership. After confirming they both own stakes in Swansea City, they formed an official alliance to potentially sign "the fat guy from English Division 4" because it would move the needle on ticket sales. Landon also cleared up the 2004 "pissing on the field" incident in Mexico, noting that it was less of a middle-of-the-pitch statement and more of a desperate "the stadium bathrooms were locked" situation.
Landon DonovanIf I were offered $15 million to play next year, I would come out of retirement
If someone were to offer you $15 million to play next year, would you play? [Landon]: Yes.
Of course, no soccer interview is complete without the ultimate hypothetical: How would the King fare on the pitch? Landon has a more grounded view than the hosts, suggesting LeBron’s height might actually be a liability everywhere except between the pipes.
Landon DonovanLeBron James would be the best soccer goalie of all time, but he is too tall to be an elite field player
If LeBron James decided to play soccer instead of basketball, would he be the best soccer player of all time? [Landon]: I mean, he's still a little tall to be able to move the way – he'd probably be the best goalie of all time.
Tebow Watch and Sabermetrics
Just when you thought the summer was getting quiet, Tim Tebow decided he’s a professional baseball player now. PFT is fully on board with the career pivot, arguing that Tebow’s entire life is basically just a six-year-old’s dream list come to life.
PFT CommenterTim Tebow is like a six-year-old because he hasn't sucked enough at any job to rule it out as a possibility
[Tebow] is basically like a six-year-old. He's just like, I want to be a professional football player... I want to be a baseball player. And he's going to get the chance to do that. So it's like when you're six years old... you can say like an astronaut because you haven't proved that you're incompetent at anything. The best thing that you can say about Tim Tebow is that he doesn't suck enough at anything where any job is really out of the remote possibility for him.
They even dug into the advanced stats to prove that Tebow might actually be more clutch than some of the most respected names in the NFL. When you look at the postseason numbers, the resume speaks for itself.
PFT CommenterTim Tebow has a better playoff record than many 'great' NFL quarterbacks
People forget Tim Tebow is 1-1 in the playoffs. .500. That's a better record than a lot of great quarterbacks out there... That is the same amount of playoff wins as Tony Romo.
To wrap things up, Big Cat shared a mind-blowing "People Forget That" regarding Prince Fielder’s sudden retirement. In a glitch in the simulation, Prince is walking away from the game with 319 career home runs—the exact same number his father, Cecil Fielder, finished with. It’s either a beautiful coincidence or Cecil had something to do with the injury to ensure his son never passed him on the all-time list.
USA is back, soccer is almost the national sport, and Tim Tebow is probably an astronaut by next Tuesday.
