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Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Women love it when men tell them what to like and order for them at restaurants

Chicks love it when guys tell them what they like. Or order for them at a restaurant. It's just like whenever you're like, 'hey, this is actually you don't like that. You like what I like.' It just shows that you're not afraid to take charge.

Subjective dating advice delivered satirically.

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Jul 11, 2016
#14199
Big CatBig Cat

The week of the MLB All-Star Break is the worst week in sports

We are in the middle of July. We're in the dog days... this is the worst week in sports. It's so bad that Derek Jeter's got bored enough to go and get married.

Subjective view on the entertainment value of the sports calendar.
Loss
Jul 11, 2016
#14200
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Pokemon Go is the greatest sporting event of our lifetime

We're kind of doing a disservice by calling this Sports Hell Week because possibly the greatest sporting event of our lifetime or probably anybody's lifetime is going on as we speak, and that's Pokemon Go.

Clearly a satirical claim; Pokemon Go is a mobile game, not a traditional sporting event.
Void
Jul 11, 2016
#14201
Big CatBig Cat

Brock Lesnar is the scariest human on Earth

The only other takeaway I had [from UFC 200] was is Brock Lesnar, I think, is the number one scariest human on Earth. The fact that he came back after five years and just demolished Mark Hunt... Brock Lesnar, I think, is my number one scariest man on Earth.

Subjective opinion on intimidation.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Knicks will sweep the Cavaliers in four games

Yeah. I mean it's, it is over Knicks in four. It's over.

Depends on the outcome of the specific 2026 playoff series.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Victor Wembanyama is a disappointment if he doesn't win seven championships

He has to win a minimum seven championships... has to. If he doesn't, disappointment.

Winning seven rings is nearly impossible in the modern NBA; even one or two would be a success.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Carlos Alcaraz and Jannik Sinner are going to have sex with each other because of their mutual respect

These guys are gonna fuck if they haven't fucked already. Holy shit. They're, they respect each other so much as competitors and as rivals, they're going to fuck each other. It's not even a question.

Inherently unresolvable and based on a fake quote anyway.