Takes

Fettuccine Alfredo is fake Italian food.

Alfredo's not real Italian. There's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine. Alfredo's fake Italian. He [Rick Pitino] would maybe do a lemon chicken, maybe do a lemon chicken Piccata. But Alfredo... Cacho e pepe, that's Italian. But there's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine.

You should never order appetizers at a steakhouse to maximize your sides

I'm of the mindset now that you don't need any appetizers at steakhouses. It's, it's a good place to run Zero apps... You don't need the calamari at a steakhouse... The sides at a steakhouse are elite. The mashed potatoes are always elite... mac and cheese always elite at a steakhouse, you wanna maximize your sides to go with a steak.

Eating Ben's Chili Bowl at Reagan Airport before a flight should be banned for safety reasons

Eating that before you get onto a flight... that should, it should be box cutters and Ben's Chili Bowl. The two things that you can't bring on a flight.

Turkey is a 'peasant bird' and doesn't belong on the Thanksgiving table

I'm not fucking settling for peasant for the peasant bird. Thank you very much... Turkey is dog shit. You guys don't know how cook Turkey.

Trix Yogurt is an elite-tier snack

TRX Yogurt is elite. The best. No free ads, but that's a good free ads. Do they exist? ... TRX Yogurt was discontinued in 2016... but it's since returned to the market.

Boneless wings are just big nuggets trying to be cool

Wings are not boneless. Wings have bones in them, but, this is it's big nugget that's trying to make themselves seem like they're as cool as chicken wings. You'll never be as cool as chicken wings. It's the mocktail of chicken.

Pumpkins are useless food that only hippos and squirrels actually enjoy

I got a vendetta against everything pumpkin... nobody likes pumpkins, we're just forced to do a lot of stuff that we just forced to do as human beings... The only animal [that eats it] is the hippopotamus and squirrels.

Quiche is a superior breakfast food to frittata

I like quiche. I like quiche. I think [it] is superior. Superior to frittata. The pie crust, it's quiche. I like quiche.

Hot honey is one of the best inventions ever

When did Hot Honey become a thing? Because it's basically the best invention. ... What a great addition to everything. Hot honey. Fucking love it.

Olive Garden is absolutely disgusting Italian food.

Olive Garden is absolutely fucking disgusting. If it's a true Italian... it's Italian, but it's a [disgrace]. But it's a good pick. It's a good for the [graphic].

Italian food in Italy is far superior to American-Italian food.

American food is meant to be had in a chain restaurant... Italian food in Italy is better than American food in America. Correct. I have never been to Italy, but I imagine.

I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before pretty much every game of my career

I would eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before the game. I started that in the minor leagues... and I stuck with that even in the big leagues... pretty much every game [for 1,937 games].

Sugar cones with soft serve ice cream is crazy

I think sugar cones with soft serve is crazy. I think it's crazy. Soft serve ice cream will drip. ... Sugar cone's guaranteed dripping. ... Sugar cone is a classic ice cream cone [for scoops], not a soft serve cone.

Pistachios are a grand slam nut

I would put pistachio on my Mount Rushmore of nuts. ... Peanut is a double off the wall. I enjoy peanuts. But you talk about a grand slam, now we're talking pistachios. ... It might be my favorite nut.

Unsalted nuts suck; the saltier the better

Unsalted nuts suck. ... There's nothing worse than when you see like a, a thing of nuts and you take a little handful and it's unsalted nuts. Oh, unsalted nuts suck. No saltier the better.

The Rock's massive cheat meals are stolen valor

His cheat days are bullshit. Where he is like, 'Oh me, I'm the Rock, I'm eating a hundred pancakes.' Like yeah dude, eat a hundred pancakes when you're already full and fat. That's hard work. If you're in really good shape and you eat a lot of food, that's not hard. It's stolen valor. I wanna see the Rock eat a cheat meal when he's already full.

Putting beans in chili is 'woke'

I think I agree with him that beans and chili are woke... it is like Texas chili is just meat... This is like nerfing chili. It's not letting dudes fart. Dudes can't even fart anymore because we're taking the beans out of chili.

Fever Tree is currently the best ginger beer on the market

I'm actually trying to create my own ginger beer with not as much sugar. I love it so much... You gotta try Fever Tree. That's the best one right now. And then when mine comes out, that will be the best one out.

McDonald's French fries are definitively yellow

McDonald's French fries are yellow. If you were to give a little kid an outline of French fries and told him to color it, they would get the yellow crayon to color it. Thank you, Hank.

Stadiums only release 'epic' food items to get social media impressions, not because people actually eat them

I'm convinced that teams do this just to get impressions on social media. I don't think that many people actually order them, but they're looking for the next like epic meal that is sold at a stadium. Right? And so they released a candy, was it cotton candy stuffed burrito where it was like just filling... and nobody's actually gonna eat that. Right? No one's gonna order it.

I admit I was dead wrong about chickens being a nervous bird that shouldn't be eaten

Getting chickens? Raising chickens from chicks... I was eating a chicken something... and he [Brian Jennings] goes, yeah, he really shouldn't eat chicken. And then he, he, he was the one who explained to me that chicken chickens were a nervous bird... I maintained that... I went back. I was wrong. We're good. I was wrong. I, I think I, I was dead wrong.

Nutty Bars are a top-tier snack pick

Gonna go with Nutty Bars. Love them. Love them. Yeah. You know that You'll get my vote on that. It's a solid pick.

Doritos are the best snack

I will go with Doritos. Cool Ranch Doritos are my favorite. Doritos are the best. They really are the best.

You would choose pizza over donuts for the rest of your life because you can't eat donuts every day

If it's pizza or donuts for the rest of your life, you'd have to take pizza. Like, I'm just being honest, like I love donuts, but you can't eat donuts every day. You could eat pizza almost every day.

Pie is vastly superior to cake as a dessert

I'm more of a pie guy than I'm a cake guy. I think pie clears cake all day. Birthday cake. Pretty decent pie. Vastly superior.

Ice cream is vastly superior to cake for birthday celebrations

Ice cream is better than cake. Why don't they just do ice cream at every birthday? No, they do cake way more than ice cream at a birthday. [Ice cream] is better.

A bowl is a perfect delivery vessel because you never have a bad meal served in one

There's nothing really that you have a bad bowl of. You know what I mean? When you're getting, when you're getting a bowl out, you're getting just good. It's like soup, ice cream. Cereal. A bowl delivers great things.

Waffles are superior to pancakes in every way

I'm going to go waffles. Love waffles. Superior to pancakes in every way. Waffles versatile. You can go sweet... or you can go savory. The nooks and crannies make it.

Breakfast burritos are better than breakfast tacos outside of Austin

In Austin, you are correct [that tacos are better]. But the rest of the country breakfast burrito is always better than a breakfast taco. Where have you had a good breakfast taco outside of Austin? Breakfast tacos are good, but they're like a, they're a treat for like certain parts of the country.

The Taco Bell Breakfast Crunchwrap is the best fast food item in the entire world

This is my, maybe my favorite item that you can purchase at a fast food restaurant in the entire world. The Taco Bell Breakfast Crunchwrap. It is so fucking good. I want, I'm gonna order one tomorrow.

Cold pizza is an elite breakfast food

I think it's an elite breakfast: cold slice of pizza. So good. It's zero calorie. Tastes great. Just put a little hot sauce on it. Yeah, it's great. I love, I love having pizza for breakfast.

Gelato is the superior form of frozen treat

I'm gonna go gelato one, then I'm gonna go soft serve two, then ice cream, then frozen yogurt. Every day, every single day, if I'm out of the office, if I'm in a different city, you bet your sweet ass I'm getting gelato there.

Frozen yogurt is the Brock Purdy of ice creams

I would say frozen yogurt is the Brock Purdy of ice creams. You can win with it. Where ideally would you take it number one? Probably not. But you get all the great toppings on it and it becomes great.

Meatball salad is an excellent Italian staple

I'm gonna go mushrooms... I always pick meatball. Great salad. Meatball salad is an excellent salad. It's an Italian thing. Meatball salad.

Pineapple absolutely belongs on pizza

I fucking love pineapple on pizza. I love pineapple with, with barbecue chicken on a pizza... At what point did it become a thing where people are like, pineapple doesn't belong on pizza?

It is almost impossible to get a bad version of a BLT

I'll go with BLT. Classic. Never fails. Some of these sandwiches, you can get bad versions of them. It's almost impossible to get a bad version of A BLT.

A Chicken Club sandwich is much better than a Turkey Club

I'm gonna go with chicken club. Much better than a Turkey club. Oh, much better.

The Banh Mi is the best sandwich in the world

I'm gonna go with it Bon me [Banh Mi] the Vietnamese sandwich. It's so, fuck. I, I think it's rated as like the best sandwich in the world. I read that a couple places... It's awesome. Yeah. It's, I would say it's worthy of a first round grade.

Pimento cheese is an overrated sandwich filling

I think pimento cheese is overrated... The problem with pimento cheese is there's absolutely no crunch or hard factor in there. It's just soft. Just soft.

One bagel is never satisfying; a backup bagel is essential for breakfast

One and a half bagels is usually the perfect amount... One bagel is never fully satisfying. A backup bagel is the most important. What about bacon, egg and cheese. Great. You need to finish it off with something. Keep it off with a bagel.

I sometimes order backup sandwiches at Jimmy John's

Sometimes I'll do backup sandwiches... like if you want to try two different things. I'll get like a buffalo chicken sandwich and a cheesesteak... I always get a backup sandwich. You can put that in the fridge.

Chicken wings are the best food and would be my number one overall pick in a food draft

Chicken wings is my favorite. It is the best food. I would take it one, one in a food draft.

Lobster meat is definitely meat because it is a crustacean

Lobster meat is considered meat because it is a crustacean and a type of seafood. ... [To Max] You grew up in a dumb household [if you think fish isn't meat].

Kirk Cousins' infamous foil-wrapped grilled steak looked terrible.

I saw the pictures. I feel like this was like maybe four or five years ago when he posted on, and I'm, I texted him immediately. I'm like, what, what is that? ... but it looked terrible.

The 'Uncrustable Diet' is the perfect way to get in shape for age 40

I'm trying a new diet that I think I invented, which is strictly Uncrustables. ... My meal plan is, I eat four Uncrustables a day. ... I think that the Uncrustable is probably the perfect snack. The perfect meal, the perfect everything.

Dots Pretzels are the most addictive snack in existence

I've never been addicted to a snack more than this. And it's dangerous. It is crazy.

Korean BBQ is a great restaurant concept because you don't have to do the dishes

Dishes. You don't have to do the dishes. The dishes is what the worst part about cooking at home is... and it will change everything in your brain.

The Taco Bell Cheez-It Crunchwrap will be elite

Let me just say that The Cheez-It Crunchwrap looks elite. Yes. It looks, I without tasting it, I can tell you that's probably on my Mount Rushmore of Taco Bell Foods.

Turkey belongs on Thanksgiving and you shouldn't try to replace it with steak

Turkey on Thanksgiving is what you do. You have to keep doing it. If you start doing steak on Thanksgiving, it now diminishes steak... Let's not try to reinvent the wheel. That's When, you eat Turkey. There's no other time really to eat Turkey. Eat steak all year.

Stuffing is the best Thanksgiving side and should be eaten more often

I want to stand out on a soapbox and pound my chest for stuffing. Oh it's stuffing is the best... we should eat stuffing way more frequently than we do. It's the best.