Jaylen Brown has an aura rating of +1000

Jalen Brown actually has overflow of aura. He's got, he's got aura. He actually has overflow of aura—plus a thousand aura.

Jayson Tatum's aura rating is currently -650

If you were to do like statistics on Jayson Tatum's Aura? I'd say he is like negative six 50.

Sports leagues are pricing out fans by fragmenting media rights across too many streaming platforms

This is what the leagues are doing. They're just chopping it up and they're cutting it and they're selling a bunch of NBA to us that we have to buy individually. I feel like that's the real inflation in the United States right now. It's becoming expensive to be a sports fan. They're pricing a lot of people out of watching sports. And that shouldn't be right.

You would choose pizza over donuts for the rest of your life because you can't eat donuts every day

If it's pizza or donuts for the rest of your life, you'd have to take pizza. Like, I'm just being honest, like I love donuts, but you can't eat donuts every day. You could eat pizza almost every day.

Pie is vastly superior to cake as a dessert

I'm more of a pie guy than I'm a cake guy. I think pie clears cake all day. Birthday cake. Pretty decent pie. Vastly superior.

Ice cream is vastly superior to cake for birthday celebrations

Ice cream is better than cake. Why don't they just do ice cream at every birthday? No, they do cake way more than ice cream at a birthday. [Ice cream] is better.

The tennis ball is the most versatile ball for individual use

Tennis balls I think are more versatile than a baseball or a golf ball. If you had the option to be left alone with a tennis ball, a golf ball or baseball... it's tennis ball all day. You throw it against the wall, bounce it off the ground, throw it up to yourself.

A bowl is a perfect delivery vessel because you never have a bad meal served in one

There's nothing really that you have a bad bowl of. You know what I mean? When you're getting, when you're getting a bowl out, you're getting just good. It's like soup, ice cream. Cereal. A bowl delivers great things.

Catching is a miserable position, especially for players over 6'4"

Catching fucking sucked. I'm six five... I did not even like catching. You're always getting second guessed by the pitching coach and if somebody hits a home run, it's your fault. Stand out in the outfield and picking daisies that sort of thing is more my style. Save your knees and your back. I caught over a hundred games four years in a row in the minor leagues. It's terrible.

August is the 'Month of Hate' in Major League Baseball

August is always the month of hate in the MLB. So no matter, you know, if your team's good or bad, you get, everybody wants to fucking kill each other. And it's literally, it's the month of hate just from being around each other for so much.

The Mets are a fundamentally confusing and failing franchise

The Mets do things sometimes that I think would probably fall under [hating each other], you know, but they're the fucking Mets. So that's just what happens. I just don't, I don't get their franchise at all. I played the East for too long and played against them. They just suck.

Clubhouse chemistry matters more than individual talent for winning championships

I think the Yankees have proved you can have all the best players, but If, you don't have the chemistry. It doesn't matter. You know, you gotta, you gotta gimme a, gimme a, a group of guys that might not be the best players, but they get along and they're all moving in the right direction and we'll go win.

MLB is losing fans because hitters no longer prioritize batting average

The game's changed... now it's like everyone's throwing a hundred and wearing oven mitts. No one hits for average. I don't know, it's the game cycles through these things... but it is weird that batting averages have plummeted. I feel like we're losing fans [because of it].

Xander Schauffele's black Adidas shoes look like server shoes and make him look slow

The all black shoes are tough because you kind of look like a server. Like you look like you're gonna ha pass me some like bacon wrap scallops. I'm telling you, you look slow. White shoes look faster.

The Olympics place a unique emphasis on finishing top-three that is not found in other golf tournaments

In the Olympics everyone's fighting to finish in the top three more so than any tournament. You know, you podium versus if you don't do well and you come in second or third. I think the emphasis on second and third is a lot more than a normal tournament.

Xander Schauffele will never lose another major championship in his career

Xander Schauffele has lost his last major ever. I'm gonna see if I can parlay all four. You've already lost your last major. That's crazy.

Taking a long time to poop is a masculine dad move

I actually kind of feel like this is like my first, like I'm feel like a masculine dad because I feel like that's a very big dad move for the all the kids in the house to be like, yeah. Dad goes and takes long shits. Being like, I'm going to the shit or I'll be back in three hours.