Stavros Halkias

The Patriots shouldn't be allowed to have a good quarterback like Drake Maye immediately after Bill Belichick.

It fucking kills me that the Patriots are good... the fact that these cocksuckers get a good core, I, it's like... they don't deserve a good quarterback immediately. If Drake Maye developed schizophrenia and he is only good half the time and you don't know which personality's playing, they deserve that.

Turkey is a 'peasant bird' and doesn't belong on the Thanksgiving table

I'm not fucking settling for peasant for the peasant bird. Thank you very much... Turkey is dog shit. You guys don't know how cook Turkey.

The Ravens will win the Super Bowl as a Wild Card underdog

Yes, of course. They're winning the Super Bowl. It's faded to be, we're going as the fucking wild card... we're gonna fucking get revenge on everyone. This will be, this is how it's done.

Season 1 Tony Soprano is the hottest man who has ever lived

Season one Tony [Soprano] is the hottest man ever that's ever lived, dude. Like the, and that's all I want. The girls who wanted to fuck him, that's who I want to fuck me. That's how I live my life.

The NBA needs to cut its regular season in half and own specific days of the week

The NBA needs to be half the games. Yep. And they need to pick like, you know, Wednesday or Thursday and Sunday or something like that. Own one day of the week... it breaks my heart that basketball is just hard to follow when you have responsibilities.

Lamar Jackson will win a Super Bowl and is effectively the 'Cooler Peyton Manning'

I'm not worried about it whatsoever. He's [Lamar Jackson] gonna win a Super Bowl... I'll just, I mean I, the comp I keep making is just Peyton Manning. He's cooler Peyton Manning. He's fucking electric in the regular season.

The Ravens lost to the Bills because they failed to run Derrick Henry on the goal line

Why the fuck did we throw the ball? And when we were first in goal, where the fuck did we run it four times? Why the fuck did we bring Derrick Henry if we're goal line and they're not gonna throw the fucking ball?

The NFL is 'fixed' and a 'psyop' to ensure the Chiefs reach the Super Bowl for Taylor Swift market share

This is the most psyop, most fucking fixed shit of all time... the NFL had a lot of fucking money to make from a purely market share standpoint. Like we [the Ravens] would've cost the NFL so much money... Roger Goodell, you're a fucking joke. They get fucking little girls to buy Stanley Cup fucking Chiefs gear. Now we got fucking Travis Kelce on Stanley Cups in third grade.

The Baltimore Ravens are the best team in the AFC

I do think they're the best team in the AFC. I still believe in Lamar. I still think the defense, even though Stafford shredded us... objectively, I still feel good.

Only All-Pro players should be allowed to wear number zero in the NFL

To wear number zero, you have to be the best guy on your team. There's gotta be a rule where it's like to have a weird number, you have to be awesome. [Big Cat: Pro Bowl?] All-pro. Zero is All-pro.

All Pro Edge Rushers should wear numbers in the 90s, not single digits

Fucking edge rushers need to be wearing nineties. Or if you're really fucking cool, maybe a 50... It's fucking weird. It looks like college football and I hate that.

The Ravens management has completely disrespected and mishandled Lamar Jackson

Steve Bisciotti and Eric DeCosta have fucked the city of Baltimore in its ass. That's where I would like to start. The fucking treatment of Lamar Jackson is inexcusable. How the fuck are we gonna lose Lamar over Nothing. ... It's like a fucking fat guy with a little ass dick who's got a hot girlfriend. We lucked into Lamar... and then we just fucking have taken him for granted.

Lamar Jackson deserves the same fully guaranteed contract as Bradley Beal

The most valuable position, in the most valuable fucking league. And they're like, oh, because of an accounting issue, we can't pay these guys guaranteed money. ... A fucking MVP quarterback should be able to get the same contract as fucking Bradley Beal. He literally wants Bradley Beal's contract. Five for two 50. That's, are you kidding me? What the fuck are we talking about?

If Bill Belichick gets Lamar Jackson, the Patriots will win a Super Bowl

If he goes to the fucking Patriots, they will win his Super Bowl. They win. ... You take a guy who's been completely underutilized... and you put him with the Patriots, who now fucking Bill Belichick has something to prove. ... Belichick has that horse cock. That's why the Broncos wanted it.

The Celtics will not win a championship because Joe Mazzulla is too religious

The Celtics can suck my dick. I think ever since Joe Mazzulla... do you see where he, when the fucking, the Queen of England or whatever, or the prince came to visit? They asked about that and he was like, I, I thought the only royal family was Jesus, Mary and Joseph. And I was like, all right, they're gonna lose. No fucking bitch ass nerd who says something like that is winning a fucking championship.

The Cleveland Browns are the 'rapist franchise' for betting on a light Deshaun Watson sentence

Anytime you're like I'm betting on a sex criminal getting a light sentence. That's the good thing that can happen for me. You're fucked. It's also like betting on Hitler to win World War II. Right? It's like you won, but it's like now you're the rapist franchise. Yeah. Congratulations.

Lamar Jackson has a very high ceiling for his sex life because of how weird he is

Lamar is such a fucking weird guy. I can't even fathom how he fucks. Like him being his own agent is weird, but it could be that kind of thing where it's like a weird guy often has either he can't fuck at all. Or he has top shelf Dick. Right? ... I'm kind of thinking Lamar's got, he's so strange. But when he zeros in on pussy, he goes fucking be on it.

The Jets are my dark horse pick for the highest ceiling in the AFC East

I think if you're betting on like the highest ceiling of dark horse, Jets. ... Zach Wilson's the baby face. ... They got the ear, the earpiece is very important. Yes. Cause Zach Wilson has what he—he's got the physical tools, but he doesn't have the know-how. And I think with [Robert] Saleh his ear... they're, he's got that big for the Jets.

Tua Tagovailoa's stock is a sell because he married his college sweetheart in Miami

He just got married to his college sweetheart. Oh. Which is weird, like far outside of college... Miami. Yeah. Like he went to Miami and then he is like, you know what girl I met in Alabama. Sell your fucking Tua stock. He's sick-fuck wise, that's the nail in the coffin. He's done. He'll be in the CFL in two years.

The Cowboys are disqualified from success because Mike McCarthy is the worst in the league

McCarthy, that's a disaster. He's got—he's spilling on himself in the bedroom. Where the fuck did this mustard come from? ... He disqualifies the Cowboys. He's so right. He's so bad. He might be the worst, worst fuck—worst guy getting pussy in the whole league.

The 2022 Super Bowl will be Chiefs vs. Buccaneers or Packers

Super Bowl champion, Kansas City Chiefs, from what we've gone through... it's gonna be Chiefs versus who in the NFC dude, do we, who do we decide? ... I think it is [Brady]. We kind of came to that conclusion, right? ... Or, or, or [Rodgers] unfortunately. ... Purely fuck-wise.

Podcasting is the biggest scam of all time

I honestly think podcasting is. I mean, we're really pulling the biggest scam of all time over on people. This is complete bullshit. You know what I mean? Like, and, but it takes no effort. If you happen to know how to fucking talk, you just fucking waltz into an easy, like, we kind of all hit a lottery here.

Ime Udoka is the best at laying pipe among NBA coaches

You look at the Celtics Ime Udoka lays pipe better than any of these motherfuckers. Feels like he could spoil shit and he goes down. Yeah. She knows that he's not the whole package though.

Giannis Antetokounmpo is the best player in the NBA

Lately my best player in the NBA, best player in the NBA, works hard as fuck. Truly like he's younger than me, but an inspiration to me... Mr. Antetokounmpo, is there anything I can do for like truly a hero of mine?

The Celtics' 2022 Finals run should have a 'Middleton Asterisk' because the Bucks were missing their second best player

Boston's bitch ass. Getting lucky with [Khris] Middleton. What? I'm calling the Middleton asterisk, which I will not allow them to enjoy this championship, should it happen. And it won't.

Lamar Jackson is better than anyone could have expected

Then we drafted Lamar and I was like, I was watching that draft being like, this is over, I'm done with football, just don't draft Lamar... And then we got him. He's better than you ever could have fucking expected.

The Bengals are 'piece of shit' frauds who only made the Super Bowl because things lined up perfectly

I think they have as good a chance to the fucking piece of shit Bengals. They can suck my fucking dick... everything did kind of line up for them, but still, you know that it was because of him [Joe Burrow] that fucking line suck dick.

Sean McVay is too much show and not enough go when it comes to sex

He seems like a little, like a too much show. Not enough. Correct. When it comes to fucking. Well he's he's got like, he likes to take his shirt off and do a dance. Like, you know, like Patrick Peyton watch himself.

Comedians are not modern-day philosophers; they are just clowns trying to get attention

Comedians are clowns, we're the lowest form of show business... people say comedians are the modern day philosophers. I think our modern day philosophers are philosophers... They're not getting drunk and trying to get pussy from a waitress. I'm not making any points. I'm here to have a good ass time.