Takes

Adolf Hitler would have been a Seattle Seahawks fan

Hitler, who do you think his team would be? I say it's the Seahawks, and let me tell you why. Because A, we know that his team is going to be easily swayed with things like candy, right? Marshawn Lynch loves Skittles.

Hitler would have been a Redskins fan because he'd see eye-to-eye with Dan Snyder, or a Cowboys fan because Jerry Jones puts stars on uniforms

I think without a doubt, he would have been a Redskins fan. He was so small that, ironically, he probably would have seen eye-to-eye with Dan Snyder... Maybe he might have pulled for the Cowboys, too. The Cowboys got an insane old guy running the team that likes to put stars on the side of their players' uniforms, so that seems like he'd be right up his alley.