Takes

J.J. Watt is the most selfish athlete on the planet

Basically, J.J. Watt is the most selfish athlete on the planet Earth. That's what I've learned from this.

JJ Watt is actually dead and has been replaced by a clone to cover up his social media absence.

I think J.J. Watt's dead... I think when he comes back, that's not J.J. Watt. That's going to be a clone that they've replaced him with. J.J. Watt... could not stay off social media for this long.