Takes

Auston Matthews' 4-goal debut is suspicious and requires a 'witch hunt'

Austin Matthews... He had three goals on his first three shots in the NHL. He actually had four goals on the night in his debut... Hmm. Interesting. Maybe a frozen envelope... I'm just saying maybe these bullies just, hey, yo, we'll let Austin.

Capitals goalie Braden Holtby is using Adderall to play well in the playoffs

I don't follow hockey that closely, but I know that there's always one good goalie in the playoffs. And whoever that guy is this year. I want to go Holtby. Braden Holtby. Holtby is using Adderall.