Takes

Adam Schefter didn't go to Mexico because he's afraid of getting kidnapped because he fits perfectly in a trunk

Maybe because his body is so short and it fits so perfectly in a trunk, he doesn't want to go there and get kidnapped.

Pokemon Go is a CIA government conspiracy to track data and map building interiors

Seriously, though, Pokemon Go is a government conspiracy, and I don't know why anyone... my last one was basically Pokemon Go has somewhere sitting with the CIA and they're saying, huh, how do we get inside people's buildings?... Let's just throw a squirtle right by someone's refrigerator. Picture.