Takes

Baseball needs 'old school' guys like Madison Bumgarner to keep the ecosystem balanced

Madison Baumgartner is one of the last guys that we need in this league because he is an anti-bat flipper, anti-pimp your home run. Goose Gossage is actually very important. He's like a beaver for the ecosystem. If you don't have someone yelling about bat flips... then we're all on Twitter being like, bat flips are awesome. Fuck the old guys. It's like, dude, you're talking about no one now.

Braves announcer Joe Simpson is the ultimate 'old man yells at cloud' for complaining about batting practice T-shirts

Getting upset about guys taking batting practice in T-shirts... this is maybe my favorite like old man yells at cloud mixed with baseball... Joe Simpson, suck our dicks, dude. You'll never hear this.

Salvador Perez just booked himself a trip to the Hall of Fame by banning swearing

I think Salvador Perez just booked himself a trip to Cooperstown because if you want to get the Baseball Writers of America on your side, just ban swearing after home runs.