Takes

J.J. Watt’s Players' Tribune article is basically erotic fan fiction he wrote about himself

One was wearing a 99 jersey with my name on the back, and another was wearing shoes with my logo on them... That was some fucking fan fiction erotic art shit for J.J. Watt. He hired a J.J. Watt mega fan to write that passage.

J.J. Watt is personally responsible for sweatshop conditions in China and polluting the planet via his Reebok shoes

Hey, JJ, you know where Reebok makes their shoes, bro? In China, they pay him like a dollar an hour to make your shoes. They put nets up outside the buildings to prevent people from committing suicide... Nike is going to have to put all the eight year olds back to work, double shift to keep up with all your shoe sales... Hey, JJ, you know about like the plastics and the chemicals they put in those shoes? They're literally polluting the planet, dude.

JJ Watt is a hypocrite for telling rookies to read tweets 95 times before sending

JJ Watt probably actually does do that 95 times. And it's 95. It's every single time. He probably does it 99 for his number. ... Hey, J.J., don't be such a hypocrite. ... Maybe practice what you preach.

J.J. Watt is the most selfish athlete on the planet

Basically, J.J. Watt is the most selfish athlete on the planet Earth. That's what I've learned from this.