PMT DB
PMT DB
Blake Bortles and Stingray Steve on Thanksgiving, Wikipedia Club, and J.J. Watt
It is officially the start of holiday weight season. Big Cat and PFT are leaning into the Thanksgiving spirit, which for them means a pass to drink too much, eat until it hurts, and gamble on every single game on the slate. They kicked things off by reflecting on the NFL's trip to Mexico City, which Big Cat found infinitely more entertaining than the usual London drudgery.
Big CatNFL games in Mexico are much more electric than games in England
Mexico. I actually, that was an electric game. It was the exact opposite of football in England. England is so fucking boring. Everyone looks like it's a chore to be there... Mexico. They had the shot of the barbed wire. It felt like the Thunderdome.
With Turkey Day around the corner, the guys laid out their picks for the holiday triple-header. While Detroit is actually putting together a decent season for once, PFT isn't exactly buying into the hype quite yet.
PFT CommenterThe 2016 Detroit Lions are a 'Haley's Comet' team that will likely get their asses kicked on Thanksgiving
Detroit, they're actually leading their division, and they're playing on Thanksgiving. I'm so used to watching shitty Lions teams. This is like Haley's Comet. It happens once every 75 years where you have a good Detroit team playing. You know what that means, though. They're going to get their asses kicked off.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne and Mount Rushmore
In a special holiday edition of Hot Seat/Cool Throne, Big Cat wasted no time putting the next Texas head coach on notice before the job was even officially open.
Big CatThe next Texas head coach is already on the hot seat
My hot seat, the next Texas coach. Just throw him on the hot seat right away. Because guess what? Texas winning culture. Haven't won in a while.
PFT put the college relationship on the Hot Seat, noting that being back in your hometown for the weekend is the ultimate Cool Throne for high school sweethearts. The holiday vibes continued with a Mount Rushmore of Thanksgiving activities. While Big Cat and Millmore focused on the glory of napping and throwing a football with a beer in one hand, PFT used his platform to air a long-standing grievance against a certain New York tradition.
PFT CommenterThe Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is the most overrated thing in the world
Macy's Thanksgiving Parade is the most overrated thing in the entire world. Even more overrated than the show Friends. It is the worst. I hate it.
Blake Bortles Wikipedia Club
Our good friend Blake Bortles joined the show for his monthly Wikipedia Club check-in. The topics of the day were Tryptophan and Question Dodging, both highly relevant for a quarterback during the holidays. After failing the reading portion of the segment regarding chemical formulas, Blake weighed in on the coaching philosophy of Will Muschamp.
Blake BortlesThanksgiving should be a full holiday, not just a meal as Will Muschamp suggests
Will Muschamp came out and said for South Carolina, Thanksgiving's a meal, not a day. We're going to practice in the morning... I also totally disagree with that. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and it is fully worth having a full day for.
The guys also helped Blake come to terms with some recent Twitter drama involving a photo that revealed he might be losing his hair. Suggestions ranged from rocking a do-rag to getting hair implants like Brian Urlacher, though the "fake spiky hair visor" was the early front-runner.
Stingray Steve and the Dagger in Austin
Stingray Steve called in to deliver his college football call of the week, focusing on the absolute disaster that was Texas losing to Kansas. To Stingray, this wasn't just a loss; it was the final nail in the coffin for the Charlie Strong era.
Stingray SteveThe loss to Kansas is the definitive end for Charlie Strong at Texas
I want to do basically what I think is the dagger in Charlie Strong's contract and job there in Texas... Kansas, the dagger in Charlie Strong's heart. Can you believe it? A new coach is now going to be at Texas and at LSU.
When the conversation turned to his beloved Mississippi State, Stingray showed some uncharacteristic restraint regarding Dan Mullen's future, though he was less than kind to the staff around him.
Stingray SteveMississippi State doesn't need to fire Dan Mullen, but the assistant coaches must be evaluated
If we do make a change, I don't think it needs to be Coach Mullen... I don't think we need to go to the extreme of getting rid of him but I think the assistant coaches need to look... he needs to take a hard look in the mirror.
Locker Room Talk and Hey J.J.
In segments, the guys tackled the strange hazing story coming out of the Rangers' organization. While the rest of the media was pearl-clutching, Big Cat saw it through a different lens.
Big CatThe Rangers' hazing incident where a teammate was 'jerked off' is just standard locker room talk
I know that a lot of people are like, wow, that's horrific, but guess what? That's locker room talk. That's guys just jerking each other off. What else are you supposed to do? How am I supposed to know that you have my back when we're playing a baseball game if I've never jerked you off?
We also saw the triumphant return of "Uhhhh Hey JJ" after J.J. Watt posted a bizarrely cinematic Players' Tribune article. Big Cat wasn't buying the humble "kid from Pewaukee" act, especially when it involved J.J. standing on a field watching kids wear his own jersey in what felt like a self-produced fever dream.
Big CatJ.J. Watt’s Players' Tribune article is basically erotic fan fiction he wrote about himself
One was wearing a 99 jersey with my name on the back, and another was wearing shoes with my logo on them... That was some fucking fan fiction erotic art shit for J.J. Watt. He hired a J.J. Watt mega fan to write that passage.
To wrap up the holiday special, PFT treated us to a leaked scene from the upcoming Matthew Dellavedova biopic, *True Grit 2*, featuring an Australian accent that can only be described as haunting.
Don't be an asshole this weekend: call a cab and enjoy the gravy.
