Blake Bortles

Shaving your head and growing a beard is the only move for balding men

Shave it and grow a beard... my thing was, which I held onto it for a while... and I finally got... I found this barber... He goes 'Dude you need to just shave your fucking head.' That's, yeah, I think you're right dude. It's tough. I shave it. It was just, you know, bullied me into shaving my head.

I’m officially retiring from the NFL unless someone offers me a two-year, $15 million contract

I quietly, I didn't tell anybody I retired. Just didn't tell anyone... I guess you guys are kind of the first to hear it publicly... I've officially retired... [unless] two for 15 million. I'd be there in a heartbeat.

I threw between 3 and 8 touchdowns during Packers OTAs

I also got a new job. Yep. And green bay I threw and give or take four touchdown passes during the OTAs. So have you ever take, three to eight? You pick a number of all right. Somewhere in there under 10.

I bought a Tesla to quit dipping, but I just ended up going to the gas station to buy dip anyway

The plan was to buy a Tesla so that I could quit dipping because then I wouldn't have to go to the gas station anymore. So now I just go to the gas station just to buy dip.

Brandon Cooks is the definition of elite foot speed

I think it's probably Brandon Cooks, a receiver we have out here in L.A., and I actually trained with him for the combine. I thought he was fast then, but he's on a whole other level of fast and the definition of foot speed, extremely quick.

I am faster now than I was when I trained for the NFL Combine

I'd imagine everybody's probably different. I think I'm faster now than I was when I was training for the Combine. But I would say there's probably guys that are the opposite of that.

The UCF vs. UConn 'Civil ConFLiCT' was never a real rivalry to the players

We had no idea that that was a rivalry game or we were playing for a trophy. We just thought it was another game. I think there has to be some sort of agreement when two teams want to become a rivalry, like equal hate or whatever.

I bought a $160,000 Tesla so I would be forced to quit dipping

So the plan was to buy a Tesla so that I could quit dipping because then I wouldn't have to go to the gas station anymore. So now I just go to the gas station just to buy dip.

I chose the Rams over meetings with Denver and Baltimore

The Rams was the first one. And after kind of spending the day there, I knew that was where I wanted to be, so I kind of just shut it down and got it done... I had a meeting with Denver and then Baltimore were the next two.

I might consider a mid-career position change to tight end

Thinking about maybe, maybe a mid-career position change... Oh, I'm a natural tight end. Always have been.

Winston Churchill beating Hitler is essentially 'stolen valor' for an actor playing him

[Gary Oldman is Winston Churchill in Darkest Hour]... yeah, he beat Hitler. Yeah. You know what? Isn't that stolen valor, though? If you dress up like the guy that beat Hitler, you're taking credit for that.

I will win at least one Super Bowl before I retire

[Big Cat mentions Pete Prisco predicted Bortles wins one Super Bowl] Wow. Yeah. You heard it from Pete first. [Bortles agreeing with the sentiment of the conversation].

Ryan Tannehill is awesome and will take the next step next year

Yeah, I think Ryan Tannehill is awesome. [He will] take the next step.

Only America should celebrate Thanksgiving

I agree. I think it's an American tradition. I mean, because it was the pilgrims and the Indians like sitting down and having dinner together and kind of somewhat working out the deal of how we're going to take their land.

Undefeated mid-majors like UCF should be in a 16-team playoff

As a mid-major school, it's tough with the way the system is now to get a chance to get into the college football playoffs. I think they should do it like how they do the 1AA or the FCS or whatever it's called, like a 16-team playoff. Because then you give them a chance, you never know until they go play the Power Five conference teams.

The secret to being an NFL quarterback is trying to throw it to your own team

I think he just, as much as he can, you've got to keep trying to throw it to your own team. I'm giving that one to everybody. Anybody that wants advice, there's a hot tip for you. I can show you plenty of examples on not throwing it to your own team and how I'm trying myself to figure that one out still.

There is a chance the world ends before 2018

Yeah, of course. I mean, [fifth-year option money] is money that I will probably never see. I think it's for like 2018. I think there's a chance that it [the world] could [end]. Either that or something else could happen.

Cinco de Mayo is just an excuse for Americans to drink beer

I don't even think they [Mexicans] know that Cinco de Mayo is a thing. It's kind of, I think, just a excuse for the rest of the world to drink. And that beer, it says beer companies were actually, once they started diving in... it kind of took off.

Remember the Titans is the best Denzel Washington movie

God, super cliche. But I think Remember the Titans is unbelievable, Denzel.

Thanksgiving should be a full holiday, not just a meal as Will Muschamp suggests

Will Muschamp came out and said for South Carolina, Thanksgiving's a meal, not a day. We're going to practice in the morning... I also totally disagree with that. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and it is fully worth having a full day for.

Limp Bizkit is the most famous thing to come out of Jacksonville

I mean, [Limp Bizkit] are by far the most famous thing to come out of Jacksonville for sure, right?

I will get a Wikipedia Club tattoo if we all get one

If we all get one, I'm 100% in. [Maybe this weekend in Chicago] I agree. Oh, let's do it. All right. We talked ourselves. God damn it.

I am a stand-up wiper

I'm gonna say I'm a big stander and I was kind of like scarred because when I was like 10 or 11... I went to wipe and just dunked my hand like right in the bowl with like the shit and water in there so from then on out I just I'm standing.

The Jaguars have a better chance of making the playoffs than the Bears or Bills

[Big Cat]: Which of those three [Bears, Bills, Jaguars] do you think have the best chance of going to the playoffs? [Blake Bortles]: I would have to say us.

I will either get hair plugs or grow a beard to deal with my balding

I think, I mean, it's just one or the other. You got to go either that route [hair plugs] or you go the, I'm just going to own it and grow out a beard and just try and look like a badass.

The Jaguars are definitely going to make some noise this season

I think we're definitely going to make some noise. Yeah, you know... we're looking forward to making some noise this year.

JJ Watt grunts and moans while chasing quarterbacks

No, [JJ Watt] is not a big talker at all. Like it's kind of – you kind of just – you hear him like grunting and moaning behind you as he's coming. He just makes noises, really.

My alliterative name is a huge reason for my success

It's a huge part of my success and a big reason why I kind of am where I am today. [Matt Bortles or Ted Bortles] nowhere near it – no, not even close.

London beer is served at room temperature except for Guinness

If you do go to London... they don't serve cold beer. It's all room temperature. So actually they have ice cold Guinness so hopefully you like Guinness. It's the only time I think I ever drink Guinness when I go to London.