PMT DB
PMT DB
Julian Edelman and Blake Bortles on the Tom Brady Roast and Hobbies
The Denver Nuggets are officially back from the dead, and the vibes in Minnesota have shifted dramatically. After everyone spent a week crown-ing Anthony Edwards as the next coming of MJ, Nikola Jokic reminded the world why he’s a three-time MVP. Hank is fully leaning into the Nuggets' dominance as they head back to Denver tied at two.
HankThe Nuggets are the scariest team left in the playoffs
The Nuggets are the scariest team in the West. You're right. Left in the playoffs period. Like the Nuggets just do not care. Like they're not worried ...
Hank even went as far as ranking the remaining West teams by fear factor, and he’s clearly not worried about Luka and the Mavs.
HankThe Western Conference power ranking right now is the Nuggets, followed by the Timberwolves, the Thunder, and then the Mavericks
[PFT Commenter: Rank the four teams outta the west. Scary. Who are you the most scared of?] Nuggets one, Timberwolves, Thunder... [Mavs are 4].
Speaking of the West, Big Cat is officially out on the Oklahoma City Thunder. It wasn’t because they lost Game 3, but because they resorted to "Hack-a-Lively" with six minutes left in a close game. It’s an analytics-nerd move that ruins the flow of playoff basketball, and Big Cat isn't here for it.
Big CatI am out on the Thunder for using the 'Hack-a-Lively' strategy with six minutes left in a close playoff game
I might be out on the Thunder... I thought that was so fucking lame that they did Hack-a-Lively with six minutes left. It was a five point game... You're the one seed and you're down five in the fourth quarter with six minutes left... and you're doing fucking Hack-a-Lively. Come on man.
Over in the East, the Celtics are doing their usual thing of alternating between blowing teams out and getting blown out. It’s led to a bizarre postseason run where they haven't actually played a "classic" game yet.
Big CatThe Celtics will reach the NBA Finals without playing a single memorable game
Will they [the Celtics] be the first team to ever get to the finals without playing a single memorable playoff game? It's crazy. Every game is either they kick the shit out of the opponent and their two losses are they got the shit kicked outta them. They haven't played in one like big fourth quarter moment yet.
Hank doesn't care about the lack of drama, though. He’s already looking ahead to the Conference Finals, where he expects the Celtics to steamroll whichever battered New York or Indiana team survives the other side of the bracket.
HankThe Celtics will smoke whoever wins the Knicks-Pacers series
And they'll smoke whoever wins the Knicks-Pacers [series]. I just love beating New York little brother.
Julian Edelman on the Brady Roast
Our friend Julian Edelman joined the show to give us the behind-the-scenes dirt on the Tom Brady Roast. Jules was one of the standouts of the night, but he admitted to being incredibly nervous sharing a stage with professional killers like Jeff Ross and Nikki Glaser. He also gave us a glimpse into the bizarre green room dynamic where Bill Belichick, Robert Kraft, and Tom Brady were all forced to exist in the same space again.
One of the best revelations was Julian Edelman’s insistence that Rob Gronkowski is actually much smarter than he lets on, especially when it comes to math and contracts.
Julian EdelmanGronk is actually a savant with numbers
I'm telling you right now. Gronk knows numbers, bro... whenever we used to talk contracts... I would always bust his balls like, yo, what's square root of this, Gronk? 144. He'd be like 12, dude! Like, he really knows numbers pretty well, dude. Not joking.
Jules also broke down his legendary Super Bowl catch against the Falcons, and in true Patriot fashion, he still hates it because he didn't execute the play perfectly.
Julian EdelmanI hate my catch against the Falcons in the Super Bowl because I ran a bad route
I honestly, it's a lucky play. Like, I don't, like, I like watching plays that like, I got blown up or something and I just hung on with the ball... I don't like that play. [PFT Commenter: Why?] Because it was a bad route. I middle read, I didn't bop my guy to the bow route... I bananaed my route. You gotta make him feel like you're hitting that bow route... it was a bad route, so I don't like it.
The Return of the Boat
Blake Bortles checked in to catch up with the guys before the upcoming Blake of the Year competition. The Boat is living his best life in retirement, spending his Fridays buying beer for the guys building his new house and occasionally getting bullied into having a catch with the electricians. He also offered some veteran advice to PFT and Hank regarding their receding hair lines.
Blake BortlesShaving your head and growing a beard is the only move for balding men
Shave it and grow a beard... my thing was, which I held onto it for a while... and I finally got... I found this barber... He goes 'Dude you need to just shave your fucking head.' That's, yeah, I think you're right dude. It's tough. I shave it. It was just, you know, bullied me into shaving my head.
Who's Back and Horse Steroids
PFT used Who's Back to launch a full-scale investigation into the legacy of Secretariat. After Jason Kelce's recent comments, PFT did the deep dive and found some staggering evidence that the "GOAT" horse might have been a fraud assisted by 1970s "medicine."
PFT CommenterSecretariat's records are fraudulent and he likely used steroids
Secretariat had 663 children... Guess how many of his kids won a Triple Crown race? The answer is zero... every mile time has gradually gotten better over the years except horse racing... He also lost a bunch of races... they had an excuse ready after every single loss... he had horse herpes and they blamed his loss on that... The more you look into Secretariat, the more it stinks to high heaven.
Big Cat agreed and officially pivoted the pod's allegiance to a more modern, presumably cleaner legend.
Big CatFlightline is the GOAT horse over Secretariat
I think we should as a podcast, we should say Flightline is our goat. Flightline was a horse that won the Breeders Cup two years ago... He raced six times and he just killed everyone... Casual fans will say Secretariat... Flightline, he was an incredible horse.
Finally, the guys wrapped up with a deep philosophical debate about why men have hobbies. PFT brought a take from the internet suggesting every hobby is just a elaborate mating ritual, which led to Big Cat trying to explain how losing money on a Tuesday night parlay is supposed to attract a spouse.
Big CatGambling is the least attractive hobby a man can have
I mean, my only hobby is gambling... I think gambling has to be the least attractive thing to a woman if you're good at it. Not if you're good... gambling, golfing, flight simulators, helicopter parenting turtles, combos, Call of Duty, going for walks. Max clogging toilets.
If the Nuggets win Game 5, don't talk to us.
