Takes

Fettuccine Alfredo is fake Italian food.

Alfredo's not real Italian. There's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine. Alfredo's fake Italian. He [Rick Pitino] would maybe do a lemon chicken, maybe do a lemon chicken Piccata. But Alfredo... Cacho e pepe, that's Italian. But there's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine.

The guy in charge of measuring arm lengths at the NFL Combine is bad at his job.

There's a big story that's brewing under wraps at the combine... the guy that measures arm length at the combines is not good at measuring arm length. This is going to be two years in a row where the arm length that's measured at the combine does not add up to what happens at the individual workouts or the guy's pro days. He's got a short measurement.

It is literal torture that the Steelers locker room only has five bathroom stalls for the whole team.

The Steelers locker room only has five bathroom stalls for the entire team. That's egregious. That's insane. Five bathroom stalls for 53 large men that have to take shits all the time. That's actually torture. Your favorite player is oftentimes awkwardly trying to like silence his shit, which no man should have to do. Sucks.