Takes

Duke would have won the National Championship by 50 points if they had reached the final.

I think if Duke plays in the championship game, they win by 50. Easily. That was a wasted opportunity.

College basketball is now 'pay to win' and that's unsustainable

It's a pay to win tournament. Like basketball is ruined. Unsustainable. Yeah, that's the new word that I keep hearing.

The Michael Malone hiring at UNC will either be a national championship success or a total disaster with no middle ground.

I think it's gonna be a disaster or they're gonna win a national title. Like I don't think they're gonna make the tournament, make a sweet 16 and coach for multiple years and it will be like middle of the road. Hiring a guy because his daughter is on the volleyball team is quite something.

Arturas Karnisovas was definitively the worst General Manager in the NBA during his Bulls tenure.

AK [Arturas Karnisovas] was one of, if not no, he was definitely the worst GM right now in the NBA. That's, I think that's actually, you can't dispute that fact. The moves that were made... absolute disaster of a front office. Terrible at scouting, terrible at trades, terrible at timing.

The $1.2 billion valuation of the Enhanced Games is a fake number.

The enhanced games just got valued at $1.2 billion. And the enhanced games... are the steroid users alternative to the Olympics. It's being run by Peter Thiel. It sounds like it's a fake valuation because it just sounds good to say $1.2 billion.

Scotty Scheffler's iron play has been average and inconsistent for a pro golfer this season.

I'd say bad for a pro golfer. He's 82nd right now [in strokes gained]. He's average on the PGA tour this season with his irons. This is a stat that he's led each of the last three seasons. If Steph Curry started to miss free throws, you'd be looking around going, what's going on here?

I'm going to 'shock the world' and win the Masters this week.

I say we shock the world to win the thing. I've been thinking a lot about it. I feel like not winning's less fun than winning. So I'm kind of just gonna go for it.

The 2026 Michigan Wolverines team is not losing to anyone in the National Championship

Being there, I mean... what we saw on Saturday night, that Michigan team's not losing to anyone. How are they underdogs? They're not losing to a single team.

Geno Auriemma is the biggest baby ever for his reaction to the 2026 Final Four loss

I don't think there's ever been a bigger baby ever than Geno. Everything he tried to say in the press conference was just immediately refuted to be false — Dawn Staley didn't shake my hand at the beginning of the game. Yes, she did. Sarah Strong got her jersey ripped. No, she ripped it herself.

Giannis Antetokounmpo and the Milwaukee Bucks need to break up

The difference this time is Giannis just outright said it... he's basically saying, I don't know what's gonna happen with me and the organization. They just need to break up. He's the best player in Bucks franchise history... I think it's time. You gotta just do it. Get draft picks and move on.

Dawn Staley's post-loss quote — 'I can swallow the loss because we lost to a really good human being' — is the biggest loser quote ever heard

That is maybe the biggest loser quote that I've ever heard. And she's a great coach. 'I can swallow the loss because we lost to a really good human being and a good team.' She's still thinking about Geno.

Duke is not a true blue blood because they only won with one coach

I actually saw a really good take today... they actually said that Duke's not a blue blood because a true blue blood is winning championships with multiple coaches. Duke just had one coach. Kentucky's won with multiple. That's the definition of Blue Blood is it's the organization that carries it, not just the coach.

The Eagles front office and coaching staff authorized a hatchet job against Jalen Hurts

There are some people in that still work for the Eagles in the front office and the coaching ranks of the Philadelphia Eagles that authorized a hatchet job against their starting quarterbacks. Not just your [Kevin Patullo]s, not just the guys that used to work there... There's some guys inside those walls that gave the go ahead and the green light to run a clear hit piece against the guy.

The Eagles are running a coordinated attack on Jalen Hurts to prepare for moving on from him

This is a coordinated attack... they're trying to get ready, get everyone ready for a move that's coming to get rid of Jalen Hurts. Because it did feel like a, 'Hey, we're not, we're getting everyone ready in the mindset.' We're basically giving you ammo so when this happens, you could say, 'Aha, it was because of all this.'

AJ Brown will be traded to the New England Patriots

[AJ Brown is] gone no matter what... New England. [In my] unbiased mind, he's still gone.

Danny Hurley will be the best bald coach in sports history if he wins a third championship

I think that would make Danny Hurley the best bald coach in sports history. The only other option could be Red Auerbach, but he wasn't bald for his entire career. I think right now he's already on the Mount Rushmore of bald head coaches. But if he wins a third, that puts you in rarefied air.

Tommy Lloyd will be the next head coach at UNC

Tommy Lloyd, I feel like he's the UNC head coach... When you bring in your wife as a shield, as a character witness, you're gone. I swear to God I'm not gonna UNC, just ask my wife. She's probably getting some tips from [Michael] Jordan on where to brunch.

Caleb Downs might be the best player in the entire 2026 NFL Draft if his medicals check out

If the physical and the medicals check out, which is a big if — I don't have access to any of that information — Caleb Downs, I think he might be the best player in the entire draft. It's just about do you want to spend that pick on a safety number one, and then number two, is he healthy medically?

The NBA's 65-game award rule was specifically created because of Joel Embiid

It's a thousand percent... it's literally the Joel Embiid rule. No, this rule was made because of Joel Embiid. They made the rule because of Joel Embiid because people were upset that he won the MVP and they didn't think that he played enough games.

Inhaled 'Protein Hookah' will revolutionize bro culture

A doctor claims that inhaled protein enters the bloodstream faster and absorb more efficiently. It's kinda like weed. All I'm saying is like keep your eye on this technology. Because it has the opportunity to revolutionize bro culture.

If Tiger makes the cut at Augusta a week after his DUI arrest, it would be the most impressive sports story in the last 10 years

What if he played well? How would the announcers talk about it? I think they'd immediately jump to like what a redemption story this is. Tiger making the cut out of Augusta after getting arrested for DUI seven days before — is this the most impressive sports story that we've had in the last 10 years?

Society has gotten too soft — kids need dodgeball, the SAT, and pressure to build real toughness

The fact that we're not playing dodgeball in gym class, and even there should be some type of standardized tests. What happened to the SAT? Like we've gotten so soft on young people that you don't even have to go through like the pressure and stress of having to prepare for that test, take that test, have to get some type of a number. Or dodgeball in gym class. You don't think that this is gonna make people tougher and more resilient? Greater fortitude, be prepared to handle the things that come up in life, the ability to compete, have to respond from failure, deal with pressure.

Duke players suffered severe concussions from the UNC court-storming earlier in the season

I think it's also important to remember that Duke likely had several players that were suffering from severe concussions after the storming of the court that UNC had against them... it's sad that they were forced to continue playing for the rest of the season after such a violent act happened to 'em.

Jon Scheyer should not be allowed to wear the Blue Devil logo until he wins a championship

Scheyer needs to take the D off of his sweatsuit. Off of his chest. He should not be allowed to wear that patch. He's gotta earn it back. Win a championship, then you can wear the Blue Devil logo on your chest.

Jon Scheyer might be on the hot seat after another tournament failure

Jon Scheyer might be on the hot seat. I don't know how you don't call a timeout. It's the time. I don't know how you don't like, that's like day, literally day one of camp is like, all right, let's run some, some out of bounds end of game situations.

Tiger Woods is a bad guy for repeatedly driving under the influence

Tiger Woods got in another car crash... Tiger, the memories he's given us... I don't understand some of the Tiger fanboys that can't just like separate it at this point and be like, hey, if he was doing this... bad guy! You're putting other people's lives at risk... schools are getting out? Bad guy.

Tiger Woods is an all-time scumbag for not hiring a driver despite his wealth

If you're Tiger Woods, it is so easy for you to afford a full-time driver... and he doesn't, and the only difference between some people trying to defend Tiger right now, and Tiger being an all time scumbag is that he got lucky and didn't hurt anybody... if he does hurt somebody, it's going to be the biggest no shit moment ever. Big time scumbag.

Jay Bilis is being disingenuous with his criticism of the transfer portal

Jay Bilis is being disingenuous... what I don't understand about Jay Bilis is like, so what if people complain about the transfer portal and the NIL... this is a tweet from 20 years ago. Everyone's saying Will Wade's a dickhead.

Golf carts should replace cars as the primary mode of transportation for non-highway use

What is your thoughts on maybe moving away from cars and really locking in on the golf cart as transportation A to B and only using cars highway use only. So like neighborhoods outside of that. We're just using golf carts on an everyday basis for travel.

The Mets will make the NLCS this season

I think they're gonna be really good. NLCS. Okay. NLCS. But fired up, ton of new pieces.

The Cubs are the second best team in the NL and will reach the NLCS

I think the Cubs are gonna be really fucking good. I think they're the second best team in the NL so I guess my expectations might be a little too high, but I think they're gonna be really, really good. I think they should definitely win the NL Central and be in the NLCS.

Illinois is going to the Final Four

I think Illinois wins. I think Illinois is going to the Final Four.

Houston will beat Illinois by 18 points in the Sweet 16

I think Houston and I think they do it decisively. 18. [Blowout?]. 18.

John Calipari has officially won the breakup with Kentucky

Do we think that there has ever been a bigger 'won the breakup' more than Cal in Kentucky right now? ... Cal is living the best life. He has gone to back-to-back Sweet Sixteens and Kentucky is in a complete crisis with Mark Pope. It couldn't have gone worse in the first two years for this breakup.

Kentucky will win a national championship before Arkansas does

Kentucky will win a national championship before Arkansas. Still, still a lot of time to go.

I would take Darius Acuff as a top five pick in the NBA Draft

I would take him top five personally. If you watch him play basketball and you don't think that he can't just own a franchise, be like, 'Hey, here you go, it's your franchise, you're gonna have fun.' He's that good.

Nate Oats needs to teach his players to never let the police look through their phones

Let the Aden Holloway situation be a reminder to everybody that you don't have to let the police look through your phone. I actually point the finger at Nate Oats for this, because Nate Oats, you gotta do a better job of explaining the first through fifth amendments to your players. Given the history that you've had... day one you should have a, get the guys from Morgan & Morgan to come in and be like, 'Do not talk to the police if you're in trouble. Shut the fuck up.'

Fouling when up by two points late in a game is a terrible strategy

Todd Golden said in the press conference they were trying to foul up two... That's insane. Foul up two's crazy. You know how crazy he is? Steven Che thinks it's a good idea. Fouling up two does not make any sense... Play defense! How about that? The, that my groundbreaking end of game scenario that I would coach in that situation would be: play defense.

The Michigan State starting five might be 'out' on big naturals because they don't follow Sydney Sweeney

None of the starting five players from Michigan State follow Sydney Sweeney on Instagram. Michigan State Spartans may be out on heavies. Starting five guys are just maybe out on big naturals.

NFL players should not be confident in their union representation with JC Tretter as NFLPA head

He's a moron. So it looks like Roger Goodell now has his doofus set up as they go into the next CBA. If I was an NFL player, I would not be too confident about my representation right now.

High Point is not a real school; it is a four-year post-high school vacation

High Point isn't a real school. It's vacation. It's vacation use four years of post high school vacation... Students in Madison right now still have another like, solid month and a half of Winter. High Point is going and eating ice cream and in their shorts and flip flops and having steaks.

Hubert Davis probably needs to be fired after UNC's historic meltdown against VCU

UNC blowing the biggest lead in first round history to VCU... Hubert Davis probably needs to be fired. Hubert's not gonna be a good magically come back next year and be a good coach.

Aaron Judge is an absolute choke artist after his WBC performance

Aaron Judge just sucking yet again. And he's gonna get, he's gonna lose some pinstripes over this. I think that's only fair... absolute choke artist. Expected nothing else from him. And he delivered nothing.

Aaron Judge is an absolute choke artist who delivered nothing for Team USA

Aaron Judge, like you knew he was striking out. And he did. He's an absolute joke, absolute choke artist. Expected nothing else from him and he delivered nothing.

Vanderbilt will upset Florida in the Sweet 16

I have Vanderbilt upsetting Florida in the Sweet 16. Okay. Alright. That would be the, and it's not even just 'cause the SEC tournament... I've seen enough to know that like Vanderbilt one is not scared of Florida. Two, it's like not fluky what happened in the SEC tournament. I think their guards are so good.

The 'Rollover Over' bet: Bet the over on Texas vs NC State and roll the winnings into the next round over

The I mean I lose. Yeah. Good one dude. I lose a lot. This is the rollover over though Texas NC State are playing in Dayton over whatever we win on that BYU versus the winner of that game over the rollover. Over double over. You take the winnings and you roll over. Yeah. To another over. I I there there's no defense.

My Early Final Four: Duke, Illinois, Michigan, and Wisconsin

Duke, Illinois, Michigan, Wisconsin... with Duke beating Wisconsin in Indie.

My Early Final Four: St. John's, Florida, Arizona, and Iowa State

St. John's, Florida, Arizona, Iowa State... I will do Iowa State over St. John's.

Timothée Chalamet can't win the big one after losing another Oscar

Timothy Chalamet. Yeah. Did not win... he's now in that like, can he win the big one? It's, it's I think it's his third time. Nothing. Can't win the big one. Nothing to show.

Ludvig Åberg is a choker who can't win on Sundays under pressure

Ludvig Åberg. Can't win the big one. Yeah. Big time. Can't win the big one. Another choke. Choke to the masters... He stinks on Sundays. I don't know what it is about him... just when he gets under pressure he just melts down.