Takes

2019 will be the 'Year of the Core'

We've already decided 2019's year of the core... Year of the core is going to be so lit. 2019, we're going to be sitting on medicine balls and shit or whatever the physio balls. I got a core. I just have a lot of shit on top of the core.

NASA is only calling Pluto 'not a planet' to stay in the news

That was such a fucking classic. Is Pluto a planet? That was a classic NASA, like, we don't have enough shit to do, so we're going to make Pluto not a planet, and then in a few months we're going to be like, actually, just kidding, it is a planet... NASA likes to keep their name in the press.

Breaking up with a long-term girlfriend for a year to 'experience things' will definitely result in getting back together

Or just tell her that you joined the military and then just leave town. Yeah, for three years. Write a couple postcards. Come back. If she cheated on you, she's a scumbag. Yeah, that's actually a very good way to tell how serious she is about this relationship. Make up a deployment.