Takes

Best man speeches must be five minutes or less

I think you have to keep it like five minutes or less. I think anyone who goes longer than that is... it's three to five minutes.

You should never use notes for a best man speech

I think you have to speak. I think the notes make you freaked out... I think no notes is the way to go... If you're up reading notes, you lose already because everyone's like, wait, you need notes for this?

The 'Hangover Theory': Regret and life-change desires disappear by Tuesday

When you're hungover... it fucking goes away. It goes away. It doesn't feel like it's going to go away... and you're like, should I take a foreign language? Maybe I finally learn an instrument... And then by Tuesday, you're like, what a fucking weirdo I was for 36 hours.