Kyle Schwarber

I am much faster than people think I am.

Would you say you're faster than people think? Because I attest to that. I think you're much faster than people think. [Kyle Schwarber]: I would say so, yes. Yes. [Big Cat]: Agreed. Strong agree for the comment I just made.

I would hit three home runs per game in a 16-inch beer softball league.

How many home runs do you think you would hit if you played in my 16-inch beer softball league? ...probably like three, so three a game. ...And the fourth would just be like a double?

Skyline Chili is greatness in your mouth and I could eat it every day.

Skyline Chili, yes or no? Yes. Big time. ... I disagree with you 100%. ... I could eat it every day. I'm a big Coney guy. ... It's greatness in your mouth. I mean, that cheese and everything. Like, come on, man. You can't tell me that you don't enjoy biting into a cheese coney.

Bat flipping is appropriate in high-pressure situations, but doing it while winning by several runs warrants a beanball.

You've got to know when it's appropriate and know when it's not appropriate. In my mind, that's an appropriate time. You're in a high-pressure situation. You just crush a ball, and you're putting your team up three. It's a big run. I feel like that's appropriate. But, like, if you're up by, like, three and you crush it and you bat flip and you're popping the chains... You deserve to get one right in the ribs.