PMT DB
PMT DB
The vibes are shifting in the NBA playoffs after the Sixers stomped the Celtics in Boston, and the blame game has officially reached the locker room and the equipment trunk. Big Cat and PFT were quick to point out that Boston’s playoff alternate jerseys might be the real culprit for their shooting woes.
PFT CommenterThe Celtics would hit their shots if they wore better jerseys
I think if they were better jerseys, they would hit their shots. How about that Hank? A prop franchise like the Boston Celtics aren't playoff... they've got classic uniforms they can pull from.
Hank, sounding like a man who has already seen the script, is largely resigned to the fact that this series is headed for a heart-stopping conclusion. With Max’s bachelor party looming in Vegas, the prospect of a Game 7 has the entire room on edge, especially with the "Don" involved.
HankI'm officially calling for a Game 7 between the Celtics and Sixers
The Celtics should blow 'em out in game six, but somehow they're gonna lose. And we're going to game seven. I've resigned to the fact that they're not [winning game six].
The Whitney Chug Heard 'Round the World
Before diving into the rest of the hoops slate, Ryan Whitney called in to explain the absolute disaster that was his beer chug in Buffalo. Whitney looked like he was having a medical emergency while trying to navigate a Sabres-themed sword, but he claims he was simply a victim of the equipment.
Ryan WhitneyIt is physically impossible to chug a beer out of the Buffalo Sabres sword
The mc of the event's, like, dude, these things you can't chug out of 'em. You have to drink it slow because you can't chug. They end up spilling. It's impossible to chug. I said, oh, all right. Well I wish you told me that beforehand mc guy.
Whitney’s defense was that he got caught in the "no-man's-land" between a slow sip and a full-blown spill, resulting in what his own wife described as looking like a car wash inflatable. The "Whitney Curse" is officially on notice as the Bruins and Sabres continue their battle.
Playoff Pulse and LeBron Spin Zones
Moving to the Western Conference, Big Cat is ready to crown the Thunder as the inevitable finalists. After watching them dismantle the Suns, he’s convinced the youth movement in OKC is too much for anyone to handle until at least the conference finals.
Big CatThe Thunder will only lose one game before the Western Conference Finals
The Thunder... I don't know if they'll lose a game before the Western conference final, maybe one. I think we said it one and a half. Like I don't, I don't, I just, they're just so good.
Meanwhile, the LeBron James discourse has reached a breaking point. Big Cat debuted a new strategy for dealing with the eternal GOAT debate, claiming that the real losers are the fans who can’t stop talking about MJ long enough to appreciate what they're watching.
Big CatMy new LeBron spin zone is that fans who debate MJ are pathetic and should just enjoy greatness
LeBron fans are so sad that they can't enjoy LeBron... all they can do is think about MJ in the goat conversation. It's sad, it's pathetic. I, me guy like me, I just enjoy LeBron's greatness. You watch, I don't even talk about the debate.
Kyle Schwarber In-Studio
The most beloved athlete in PMT history, Kyle Schwarber, made his triumphant return to the show. Because he’s played for the Cubs, Nats, Red Sox, and Phillies, he is the one man who can unite the entire cast. Schwarber walked through his legendary postseason home run record, including why he knew almost every single one was gone the second it hit the bat.
He also gave some massive props to his former teammate Javi Baez, defending the "El Mago" style of play that often drives old-school scouts crazy.
Kyle SchwarberJavi Baez is the best instinctual player on the field I've ever seen
[Javi Baez] is like the best instinctual player on the field I've ever seen. You know, not even just like when it comes to hitting and fielding — the base running, it's crazy. His base running's outrageous. And everyone wants to talk about, like fundamentally sound — watch this dude run the bases, watch his turns, watch how he goes first to third. Like, that's fundamentally sound.
Schwarber also touched on the transition to Philly and his relationship with Bryce Harper, but the real highlight for the local fans was a firm commitment regarding his future employment prospects in the NL East.
Kyle SchwarberI promise I will never play for the New York Mets
[PFT: Will you promise that you won't ever play for the Mets?] Kyle Schwarber: Yeah, sure.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne and The Future of the Eagles
Hot Seat/Cool Throne featured a deep dive into the "concentrated" nature of certain farts and the news that the NCAA tournament is likely expanding to 76 teams. Big Cat and PFT are united in their hatred for the expansion, arguing it only serves to protect mediocre power-conference coaches.
Big CatThe 76-team NCAA tournament expansion is a terrible idea
I think we all are in agreement that it's a bad idea... the truth is that's not what's gonna happen. It's going to be a bunch of 500 SEC and Big 10 teams... the consumer does not want this.
To wrap things up, the crew checked in with Todd McShay, who is still beating the drum for his draft darling Cole Payton. Despite Payton falling to the fifth round, McShay is doubling down on the future of the Eagles' quarterback room.
Todd McShayCole Payton will take over as the Eagles' starting quarterback in two years
His name's Cole Payton and he takes over as a starter in two years from now. And I'm gonna get the last laugh. Yes. And so is Cole.
Max may be worried about the Phillies' current GM, but if the "Schwarbombs" keep flying, there might be a light at the end of the tunnel.
MaxDave Dombrowski is a terrible GM who decimates every franchise he joins
Dave Dombrowski is a terrible, terrible general manager that is now just everywhere he goes. He just decimate franchises and, and it's happening right, right now in Philadelphia.
Just remember: if you're holding a lead-filled sword at a hockey game, own the spillage.
