Chicago Cub Kyle Schwarber

Legalized gambling will be available across the country in five years.

Football in Vegas, I'm saying, calling your shot five years, say five years, legalized gambling all across the country, it's going to be great.

London is the next city to get an NFL franchise.

I guess this puts London as next city up, right? Yeah, because the NFL got rid of its two scary boogeymen out there, Los Angeles and Las Vegas, for when owners wanted to wring a little bit more tax money out of their locale. So now it's like, hey, if you don't pony up, guess what? Jags are moving to London.

The Celtics can beat the Cavaliers in a seven-game series with home-court advantage.

Do you think the Celtics can beat the Cavs in a seven-game series? Yes. With home advantage? Yes.

The Rockets could theoretically win the West, but the Thunder have zero chance.

I think Harden wants to win this, but the Rockets actually are a decent team. Things have to break well, but in a world, there's a theoretical world where they could win the West. The Thunder, no chance. Zero chance.

Bill Belichick already has conditions on the Browns' number one overall pick for a Jimmy Garoppolo trade.

I think that it's Belichick's pick if he wants it for Garoppolo. Belichick's just such a dick that he institutes his own conditions on other teams' draft picks before he even takes them. So he's like, I'm going to take that draft pick from you, but my condition is you're not allowed to talk about your draft pick.

Mel Kiper Jr. eats a slice of pumpkin pie for breakfast every single day.

Every time you see Mel Kiper, though, remember one thing. He eats a slice of pumpkin pie for breakfast every single day. Just put that in your brain.

I would hit three home runs per game in a 16-inch beer softball league.

How many home runs do you think you would hit if you played in my 16-inch beer softball league? ...probably like three, so three a game. ...And the fourth would just be like a double?

Tony Romo is the biggest sucker alive for believing Jerry Jones would be loyal to him.

Is Tony Romo the last person in the world to realize this was what was going to happen? He's like a high schooler in this situation. He actually thought that Jerry Jones was going to be like, hey, Tony, don't worry. We'll take care of you, man. We're not going to do what's in the best interest of the Dallas Cowboys.

The Giants would have beaten the Patriots if they had made it to the Super Bowl.

I think [Bob Kraft] is actually right because Eli Manning is the exact opposite in Super Bowls as Matt Ryan. He sucks for three quarters and then he's really, really good weirdly in the fourth.