Pete Holmes

Will Smith is actually at his most employable right after a public scandal

I feel like now would be the time to get Will Smith. Everyone's talking about him. It's like the safest time to fly as after a plane crash. And so like, if you want Will Smith to not slap somebody, now's the time that you bring Will Smith around.

Men avoid laughing at comedy because they don't want to surrender control of their consciousness

Tough guys never dance and tough guys often don't like laughing. They don't like comedy. If I'm doing comedy and there's someone in the front row with their arms crossed and they're daring me to invade them... it's because they don't want to give you control of their consciousness. Women tend to be more okay with giving you the control.

The awareness of death is what makes things like ice cream taste better

The fact that we're only here for a time imbues this moment with a richness that wouldn't be there if I lived forever. The stakes of death are what give life more value. And I would say make ice cream a little bit more delicious because it means more that you know it might be your last.

If your career or dream feels like it sucks, that means you are on the right track

One of the underlying themes of crashing is if it sucks, that's how you know you're doing it right. It's not like this sucks. Why me? It's no, this sucks. I'm in the club. Like that's the path... if you're shitting in your pants and think you're a fraud, you're on the right track.

Comedians are secretly as competitive as professional athletes

New England like me that don't think it's polite to say you want to do better than the guy before you and the guy after you... act like a sweetheart, just like the guy on Crashing, but secretly, yeah, you want to tear the place down... There is a competitive. You're playing you against the audience or you against the show, and obviously it's good to be kind to everybody, but when you're up there, there's something athletic going on.