Takes

The Four Loko hard seltzer isn't real

I think that the Four Loko thing is fake. I'm very woke on this because there was no link to the product whatsoever. It was a Photoshop that Four Loko put out there... here's why I think it's fake is because if you're going to make something 14% alcohol, why not just make it 20?

If you don't like mayonnaise, you are probably homophobic and misogynistic

If you don't like mayo, you're actually, well, and also, you're probably kind of homophobic and a little misogynistic. Because you're just like, your masculinity is threatened by having this creamy, delicious spread just down your throat.