PMT DB
PMT DB
Matt LaFleur on the Packers, Magic Johnson's Favorites, and Antonio Brown's Helmet
Big Cat and PFT Commenter are fresh off a trip to Green Bay, which Big Cat describes as a total dump despite the Title Town pedigree. The guys are coming off a semi-successful riot following the second episode of Hard Knocks. While they technically got the Antonio Brown helmet content they demanded, the footage of his "circumcised" feet was a bit more than anyone asked for.
Speaking of the helmet saga, PFT has actually sourced two Schutt Air Advantage helmets in AB's size. He’s ready to hand them over, but the price isn't a game-worn Raiders helmet. The price is much, much weirder.
PFT CommenterI will give Antonio Brown two certified helmets if he simulates eating Derek Carr's ass as a touchdown celebration
We have tracked down two of these [Schutt Air Advantage] helmets in his size... he said that if we can find one and he can get one, he'll trade a Raiders used helmet. And we don't want that. In return, we want you to do a touchdown dance for us... Either eat Derek Carr's ass or P.F. Chang's with Mark Davis... You gotta simulate ass eating. You get both helmets.
Dak Prescott and the Art of the Deal
While AB is fighting for his headgear, Dak Prescott is busy resetting the quarterback market. Rumors of Dak asking for $40 million a year have sent the guys into a spiral. Big Cat thinks the number is insane for a guy who still needs to prove he can carry the Cowboys to the big game.
Big CatDak Prescott is not worth $40 million per year
I don't think he's worth 40 million dollars. And I think that you probably have to sit down, Dak, and be like, dude, I know that you want this much money, but would you rather this much money or maybe win a Super Bowl with the Dallas Cowboys?
Naturally, PFT is taking the opposite approach. Since he isn't a Cowboys fan, he wants Jerry Jones to empty the entire vault for Dak just to see what happens to their cap space.
PFT CommenterThe Cowboys should pay Dak Prescott $75 million per year
As not a Dallas Cowboys fan, I hope they pay Dak as much money as possible. 70. 75. Okay. Fuck it. Deal. Full send.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne
Hank leads off Hot Seat with Michael Porter Jr., whose absence from the court is starting to feel permanent. Between dabbing and doxxing the commissioner, MPJ is finding ways to stay in the news without actually playing basketball.
HankMichael Porter Jr.'s spine is made of dust
My hot seat is Michael Porter Jr. You guys remember him? Remember he's in the NBA? Has yet to play a minute. His spine is made of dust.
Adam Silver finds himself on the hot seat after his personal cell phone number was displayed during a presentation. While most people see a clerical error, PFT sees a deep-state conspiracy by the commissioner to get a new phone.
PFT CommenterAdam Silver intentionally leaked his own phone number so he could smash his phone and hide something else
Do you think he actually planted that? Like he was cool with being doxxed because he's the accessible commissioner. Ooh, maybe he's got something to hide. So he deliberately got his phone [doxxed] so that people aren't sniffing around the other stuff.
On the Cool Throne, Four Loko is back in the mix with a supposed hard seltzer that boasts a terrifying 14% ABV. PFT remains skeptical of the marketing, suggesting that if you're going for the Four Loko brand, you don't settle for middle-of-the-road ABV numbers.
PFT CommenterThe Four Loko hard seltzer isn't real
I think that the Four Loko thing is fake. I'm very woke on this because there was no link to the product whatsoever. It was a Photoshop that Four Loko put out there... here's why I think it's fake is because if you're going to make something 14% alcohol, why not just make it 20?
Matt LaFleur Joins the Show
New Packers head coach Matt LaFleur sat down with Big Cat and PFT to talk about the transition to Green Bay and the infamous boot he's wearing after a knockout-related Achilles injury. Despite being one of the younger coaches in the league, LaFleur isn't worried about the age gap between him and his veteran players.
Matt LaFleurI don't think you can put an age on leadership
I don't think you can put any type of age on leadership. I saw Sean [McVay] firsthand and I thought he did as good a job as anybody I've been around in terms of getting the respect and the command from the team.
He discussed the culture he's building in Wisconsin, which includes a very strict stance on training camp extracurriculars. While some coaches let a few punches slide to "build grit," LaFleur is keeping things professional.
Matt LaFleurThe Packers will have zero tolerance for fighting in training camp
No tolerance there... zero tolerance at all. You fight you're out. Just for the day. And don't get me wrong, skirmishes are going to happen. You don't want to see haymakers being thrown, especially when it's your own teammate.
Football nerds will be happy to hear that the fullback isn't dead in Green Bay. LaFleur is leaning into the 21 personnel, looking to use Danny Vitale as a legitimate Swiss Army knife in the offense.
Matt LaFleurThe Packers will utilize the fullback position as a weapon this year
Danny [Vitale]'s been awesome. We want to be able to run everything out of 21 personnel. And a lot of teams don't see that anymore. So it is a little bit of an advantage, especially if you get a guy that can catch the ball out of the backfield.
Mount Rushmore of Magic Johnson's Favorite Things
In honor of Magic Johnson turning 60, the legend released four separate lists of 60 things he loves. In typical Magic fashion, the lists were mostly alphabetical and completely baffling. The guys drafted their own Mount Rushmores from his selections, with Hank immediately snatching the gold standard of 2000s comedy.
HankChappelle's Show is the greatest TV show of all time
Chappelle's show... Greatest show of all time. Undeniably the number one pick.
Hurt or Injured: Andrew Luck
The episode wraps up with a check-in on Andrew Luck, whose "calf strain" is starting to feel like a mystery novel. Big Cat is officially sounding the alarm that this might be a much longer absence than Colts fans are being led to believe.
Big CatAndrew Luck's injury might be way worse than reported
Andrew Luck has a weird random injury that might keep him out for a lot longer than everyone expects. Calf strain has turned into a high ankle issue... That's like being like, oh yeah, my sniffles turned into the flu.
Finally, a special edition of "Guys in Labor" breaks down the recent unionization efforts at The Ringer. PFT notes that while Dave Portnoy is playing the villain on Twitter, the real drama might be happening behind the scenes with Bill Simmons.
PFT CommenterBill Simmons genuinely wants to stop the union at The Ringer
There's a part of me that thinks that what Dave was doing part edge stick today is exactly what Bill Simmons wants to do for real. Bill Simmons lucked into this day because holy shit.
Hopefully, Andrew Luck tries the Ochocinco warm urine soak before Week 1.
