I will give Antonio Brown two certified helmets if he simulates eating Derek Carr's ass as a touchdown celebration

We have tracked down two of these [Schutt Air Advantage] helmets in his size... he said that if we can find one and he can get one, he'll trade a Raiders used helmet. And we don't want that. In return, we want you to do a touchdown dance for us... Either eat Derek Carr's ass or P.F. Chang's with Mark Davis... You gotta simulate ass eating. You get both helmets.

Dak Prescott is not worth $40 million per year

I don't think he's worth 40 million dollars. And I think that you probably have to sit down, Dak, and be like, dude, I know that you want this much money, but would you rather this much money or maybe win a Super Bowl with the Dallas Cowboys?

The Cowboys should pay Dak Prescott $75 million per year

As not a Dallas Cowboys fan, I hope they pay Dak as much money as possible. 70. 75. Okay. Fuck it. Deal. Full send.

Michigan was definitively the better team in the National Championship and it never felt like UConn was in danger of winning.

Michigan was the better team. We all saw it. It never felt like [the game] was in danger. Like the only moment that I was like, oh, UConn might have a chance, was when there was like maybe five and a half minutes left and Mullens missed that three to cut it to four.

Michigan was the best team all year — outside of Duke, who would have won the championship by a lot

They were the best team. They were the best team all year outside of Duke. 'Cause that actually was my other big takeaway — Duke just completely, Duke beat this Michigan team a month and a half ago.

Danny Hurley is 18-1 against the spread in his last four NCAA tournaments, which is insane

Danny Hurley remains 18 and one in the last four tournaments against the spread. How insane is that? Furman is the only one that they didn't cover. That was the first round this year.