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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I will give Antonio Brown two certified helmets if he simulates eating Derek Carr's ass as a touchdown celebration

We have tracked down two of these [Schutt Air Advantage] helmets in his size... he said that if we can find one and he can get one, he'll trade a Raiders used helmet. And we don't want that. In return, we want you to do a touchdown dance for us... Either eat Derek Carr's ass or P.F. Chang's with Mark Davis... You gotta simulate ass eating. You get both helmets.

This was a comedic offer that Antonio Brown did not accept, and the celebration never occurred.

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Void
Aug 14, 2019
#17429
Big CatBig Cat

Green Bay is kind of a dump

We went up to Green Bay. Kind of a dump. We talked to Matt LaFleur about coaching Aaron Rodgers. They call it title town for a reason, folks.

Whether a city is a 'dump' is purely a matter of personal opinion.
Void
Aug 14, 2019
#17430
Big CatBig Cat

Dak Prescott is not worth $40 million per year

I don't think he's worth 40 million dollars. And I think that you probably have to sit down, Dak, and be like, dude, I know that you want this much money, but would you rather this much money or maybe win a Super Bowl with the Dallas Cowboys?

Dak eventually signed a 4-year, $160M contract ($40M/year) in 2021. While the cap rose, he has not yet led them to a Super Bowl, though he has played at a high level.
Loss
Aug 14, 2019
#17431
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Cowboys should pay Dak Prescott $75 million per year

As not a Dallas Cowboys fan, I hope they pay Dak as much money as possible. 70. 75. Okay. Fuck it. Deal. Full send.

Obviously, no player in 2019 was being paid $75M/year, making this hyperbolic and incorrect in literal terms.

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Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Bills could have three or four Super Bowls without kickers

You can make the argument that the Buffalo Bills would have like three or four Super Bowls if kickers weren't a thing in football. You can make the argument that the Patriots might not have had the start of that dynasty if it wasn't for kickers.

The claim is a counterfactual and cannot be definitively verified.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Jalen Hurts will answer the Titans by beating them as a passer

I actually think Jalen Hurts is good enough as a quarterback that when somebody dares him to do that, he could say, 'Fuck you, I will beat you as a quarterback.' And then stay in the pocket and throw for like 300 yards and three touchdowns.

Hurts' passing production against Tennessee will determine this prediction.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Jaguars would be the second-best team in football if they win in Denver

If they win this game in Denver, I would put them maybe second in the power rankings behind the Jets.

The Jaguars' win and their resulting standing in PFT's power rankings are the relevant conditions; the ranking itself is subjective.