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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I will give Antonio Brown two certified helmets if he simulates eating Derek Carr's ass as a touchdown celebration

We have tracked down two of these [Schutt Air Advantage] helmets in his size... he said that if we can find one and he can get one, he'll trade a Raiders used helmet. And we don't want that. In return, we want you to do a touchdown dance for us... Either eat Derek Carr's ass or P.F. Chang's with Mark Davis... You gotta simulate ass eating. You get both helmets.

This was a comedic offer that Antonio Brown did not accept, and the celebration never occurred.

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Void
Aug 14, 2019
#17429
Big CatBig Cat

Green Bay is kind of a dump

We went up to Green Bay. Kind of a dump. We talked to Matt LaFleur about coaching Aaron Rodgers. They call it title town for a reason, folks.

Whether a city is a 'dump' is purely a matter of personal opinion.
Void
Aug 14, 2019
#17430
Big CatBig Cat

Dak Prescott is not worth $40 million per year

I don't think he's worth 40 million dollars. And I think that you probably have to sit down, Dak, and be like, dude, I know that you want this much money, but would you rather this much money or maybe win a Super Bowl with the Dallas Cowboys?

Dak eventually signed a 4-year, $160M contract ($40M/year) in 2021. While the cap rose, he has not yet led them to a Super Bowl, though he has played at a high level.
Loss
Aug 14, 2019
#17431
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Cowboys should pay Dak Prescott $75 million per year

As not a Dallas Cowboys fan, I hope they pay Dak as much money as possible. 70. 75. Okay. Fuck it. Deal. Full send.

Obviously, no player in 2019 was being paid $75M/year, making this hyperbolic and incorrect in literal terms.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

JMU may not win again until the dog-poop bettor returns

JMU probably won't win another football game until that guy logs back on.

The prediction resolves when JMU's 2026 football season ends or the team wins another game, whichever comes first.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Wizards are a one-through-eight seed team

I feel confident in my one through eight seed. Love that for the Wiz.

The Wizards' 2026-27 regular-season finish will determine whether this playoff-seeding prediction was accurate.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Falcons can expose the 49ers defense

They might not actually be as good as we think they are on defense. I don't hate the Falcons at all in this game.

The 49ers' 2026 defensive quality and this Week 7 result can be evaluated against the skepticism expressed here.