Takes

The Penguins faked the Jaromir Jagr bobblehead truck hijacking because they forgot to order them.

I've got a car filled with Jaromir Jagr bobbleheads that I'm trying to get rid of... I don't think the bobbleheads existed. I think maybe I, I think that maybe there were no bobbleheads and the Penguins were like, 'fuck it's bobblehead night, we forgot to order these things.' It's Jussie Smollett head night. They're like, 'well we don't have—oh yeah, the cops, we called the cops, they're looking into it right now.'

The Bruins are the greatest regular season hockey team ever and will dominate the playoffs

I'm all out on this team. This team is different. They're the greatest hockey team I've ever watched in the regular season. They're the greatest regular season team of all time. They're gonna dominate, they're gonna run through these playoffs.

Alex Ovechkin is the greatest goal scorer of all time but I disavow his political ties

He's a great hockey [player], probably the greatest goal scorer of all time... I disavow Putin, OVI. [Ovechkin] was raised from a child being an elite athlete in Russia... he's been indoctrinated.

The Washington Capitals are going to be 'Team of Destiny' because TJ Oshie is playing through the loss of his father

I'm starting to get team of destiny vibes from the Washington Capitals because... TJ Oshie scored a hat trick on the day that his dad passed away. I've loved the guy ever since then... in America, Captain America, I'm starting to get team of destiny vibes.