Chargers Head Coach Brandon Staley, Tom Wilson Fight Night And Fyre Fest Of The Week

Elon Musk should announce he bought the Yankees and immediately dissolve the team on SNL

You know, it'd be very funny if [Elon Musk] just straight up announced that he bought the Yankees and then dissolve the Yankees immediately, or the Yankees are no more.

Tom Wilson is currently the NHL's apex predator because the league phased out goons

The problem is the NHL not having, they basically got like the goon, the goon is extinct in the NHL. The fighting has been phased out of the league. The big guys don't have a place anymore. Therefore, Tom Wilson is the toughest guy in the world and he beat the entire New York Rangers roster.

Healthy workplaces should allow fighting to increase productivity

I think that healthy workplaces should allow fighting. Like if you get into a fight, if you know that fisticuffs are on the table and you can fight in the first 30 minutes of your Workday, you'll probably end up having more productive day after that, you're going to get all your frustration out.

The NHL's tiny fine for Tom Wilson was a genius move to keep people talking about hockey

I appreciate the NHL. Now giving us more of a, like, if you want to get real woke the NHL only giving them a $5,000 fine was the greatest thing they've ever done because it kept the story going and having people talk about the NHL before the playoffs for another week.

Pantsing someone so their 'dick and balls' flop out is the height of comedy

A pants, when you can get the underwear as well. And the person's Dick and balls flop out is the height of comedy... bend your knees and crab walk the court. Kings of comedy tour. It would just be people getting pants and puking farting too.

It is always better for a journalist to be right than to be first

The one thing you do teach you is you always, it's always better to be right than be first.

The NFL is a better league when Blake Bortles is in it

I want Blake to do well. And the NFL is a better league when Blake Bortles is in it fact, if it happens to be in green bay and if you happen to just sort of ball out for the next 16 years, I think that's wonderful for everybody.

New York rain is the 'wet Willie' of precipitation and refuses to commit

I want my rain to like show up and fight me like a man rain. Don't just do this little drizzle all day. It just kind of like inconvenience to you. Right? It's it's the wet Willie of precipitation.

I like seven-inning doubleheaders and the extra-innings runner on second base rule

I liked the seven inning game. I liked the new rule of starting on second. I know that a lot of people don't like it. I think it's better just because there's nothing more than games going like 16 innings.

The punt is the most challenging play in football because it requires a player to switch roles instantly

Why is the punt the most challenging play in football?... Well, I'll tell you why, because it's the only play in football where you start out as an offensive player, and then you become a defensive player. You have to block and be responsible for all the protection phase... and then you have to go cover the kick and become a defensive player.

Analytics dictate that if you are down 14 and score a touchdown, you should go for two

All the analysts would tell you to do it. [Go for two when down 14]. I think that one thing that I've learned guys... winning the game in regulation. Right. You know. Cause there's that, Hey, play for a tie or, Hey, we want to win this game in regulation.

The best way to stop Patrick Mahomes is a full team effort because you better be able to score to beat him

The reality is, is pat Mahomes is, has only been held under 24 points, like three times in his entire career. So the reality is you better be able to score, to beat them, you know? And so it's going to take a team performance to beat a guy like that.

Khalil Mack would have been DPOY in 2018 if he hadn't missed two games

Ramsey was first team all pro last year and had his best year... Kahleel a D [Aaron Donald]... I think, you know, the year we were together, guys in 18 [Khalil Mack] probably would have been the player of the year he had had, he had had he not missed those two games.

No long-hair quarterback has ever won a Super Bowl

We've come across a little bit of a theory that no Longhair quarterback has ever won a super bowl. So you might want to just get in front of that right away.

Chargers powder blues are the best uniforms in all of sports

I think most people would agree probably the best uniforms in, in all sports. You guys just had new uniforms release... I'm glad to say that the powder blues are a big part of it.

The Washington Capitals are giving off 'team of destiny' vibes

I'm starting to get team of destiny vibes from the Washington capitals because caps back... in America, captain America, I'm starting to get team of destiny vibes and caps back, put a little tickler file on it.

I am officially bringing back the phrase 'Now that's paper'

I gotta start thinking about another phrase. I'm thinking now that's paper. I tried to bring back now that's paper while ago, but it feels, I feel like the times right now. Bet. I like bet.